Prettygirl - Hello Poetry

I remember who I was before it happened I smelled like cherry My skin was always clean I hope I have what it takes to find her She was light The kind that fills your chest She is like happy tears So full and good I Miss her louder when my silence is at its most quiet I hope she finds me too

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Oct 25, 2022

Oct 25, 2022 at 11:59 PM UTC

her

I remember who I was before it happened I smelled like cherry My skin was always clean I hope I have what it takes to find her She was light The kind that fills your chest She is like happy tears So full and good I Miss her louder when my silence is at its most quiet I hope she finds me too

10

I was afraid of loving and being loved I believed love meant consumption because I always let it consume me I wrapped myself too tightly around them To be as close as humanly possible… to ensure that it was love Losing yourself in another It was poetic and disgusting I believe love was being everything It was fear It was a high But that is addiction Should love not be addictive? Not transactional I wanted to earn it Now I am afraid I’m not enough I always was More so now that I know what love is not

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Apr 28, 2022

Apr 28, 2022 at 11:34 PM UTC

Realization

I was afraid of loving and being loved I believed love meant consumption because I always let it consume me I wrapped myself too tightly around them To be as close as humanly possible… to ensure that it was love Losing yourself in another It was poetic and disgusting I believe love was being everything It was fear It was a high But that is addiction Should love not be addictive? Not transactional I wanted to earn it Now I am afraid I’m not enough I always was More so now that I know what love is not

18

maybe it just wasn’t perfect timing But who said we had to be perfect to love infinitely? I’ll tell you I love you infinity if you would just... Let me. I wanted to tell him that I’m sorry Because victims live in a loop of uncertainty and I don’t blame others for emotions that are all my own I wanted to tel him he’s all I ever wanted That I can wait an eternity if I have to because to me this was all we ever were Two souls destined for eachother I choose you every time I’ll never stop choosing you You’ve really got to **** me Send me into oblivion or Nothingness before I let you no longer know me No matter what happens I love you With my whole heart You told me soulmates are a thing of the past That thing I keep running from It seems to keep catching you je te libérerais si je le pouvais (I’d break you free if I could)

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Feb 29, 2020

Feb 29, 2020 at 10:54 PM UTC

I wanted to tell him

maybe it just wasn’t perfect timing But who said we had to be perfect to love infinitely? I’ll tell you I love you infinity if you would just... Let me. I wanted to tell him that I’m sorry Because victims live in a loop of uncertainty and I don’t blame others for emotions that are all my own I wanted to tel him he’s all I ever wanted That I can wait an eternity if I have to because to me this was all we ever were Two souls destined for eachother I choose you every time I’ll never stop choosing you You’ve really got to **** me Send me into oblivion or Nothingness before I let you no longer know me No matter what happens I love you With my whole heart You told me soulmates are a thing of the past That thing I keep running from It seems to keep catching you je te libérerais si je le pouvais (I’d break you free if I could)

22

i am but a child with my eyes closed believing i am invisible cloaked in my own curiosity i tiptoe over sentences and ask about big words like what does ************ mean? My mother told me don't ask for it What is it? How do I paint my nails red without smearing the Polish? When i felt (becoming a woman) run down my legs along went my wonder, childlike My body was now poetic in the way it wrote verses across the pad

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Apr 18, 2019

Apr 18, 2019 at 10:42 AM UTC

.Period.

i am but a child with my eyes closed believing i am invisible cloaked in my own curiosity i tiptoe over sentences and ask about big words like what does ************ mean? My mother told me don't ask for it What is it? How do I paint my nails red without smearing the Polish? When i felt (becoming a woman) run down my legs along went my wonder, childlike My body was now poetic in the way it wrote verses across the pad

9

:I am the taste of stale lemon cookies from grandmas pantry I am room temperature coffee staining your tongue and stomach lining A small tickle in the back of your throat causing gigantic miniscule sweet baby coughs Not enough A shower that just can't seem to get warm I am entirely too underwhelming Me. Indelicate angelic **** up Beige walls to match my mild touch. I do not burn You're feelings never hurt Id say I'm sorry but my voice is a humming of drums on fingertips Sticks beat the vibration of voice off it My slushed thoughts slashed into I have nots caused you lots and lots of boredom so you stopped listening to me accept i don't think you were ever listening for me cause you just wanted to hear a story about a **** girl whose hips made circular movements not innocent but there were pink cotton ******* and i hade baby lips

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Jul 14, 2018

Jul 14, 2018 at 1:15 AM UTC

Angelic **** up

:I am the taste of stale lemon cookies from grandmas pantry I am room temperature coffee staining your tongue and stomach lining A small tickle in the back of your throat causing gigantic miniscule sweet baby coughs Not enough A shower that just can't seem to get warm I am entirely too underwhelming Me. Indelicate angelic **** up Beige walls to match my mild touch. I do not burn You're feelings never hurt Id say I'm sorry but my voice is a humming of drums on fingertips Sticks beat the vibration of voice off it My slushed thoughts slashed into I have nots caused you lots and lots of boredom so you stopped listening to me accept i don't think you were ever listening for me cause you just wanted to hear a story about a **** girl whose hips made circular movements not innocent but there were pink cotton ******* and i hade baby lips

14

Noble knight arms himself with half smiles that fill the spaces of conversations he can't find words for He, indelicate yet so fragile you'd think his bread bits would crumble neatly into a pile of precious innocence He's a sunshine boy so bright i had to sheild my eyes I hate it when tears leave his eyes I wish to sit behind him and draw pictures on his back of all the things i don't know how to say "Sampson. Do you ever pretend your life is a movie cause you'd rather have happy cliches than tragedy?" "Yeah."

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Jun 29, 2018

Jun 29, 2018 at 5:15 AM UTC

Sampson

Noble knight arms himself with half smiles that fill the spaces of conversations he can't find words for He, indelicate yet so fragile you'd think his bread bits would crumble neatly into a pile of precious innocence He's a sunshine boy so bright i had to sheild my eyes I hate it when tears leave his eyes I wish to sit behind him and draw pictures on his back of all the things i don't know how to say "Sampson. Do you ever pretend your life is a movie cause you'd rather have happy cliches than tragedy?" "Yeah."

7

I live in a state where the girls are not gay but the culture is Where my boy only tells you he loves you when it's convenient When your i love you's are only true if they come with the gift of your body I live someplace where the women do not bloom often The girls have guilty minds from putting dainty things on display while men find joy in plucking them but we do not tell dad That nice man is giving girl attention She asks her self if this is love Little girls are too little and too big too They tell you let your mind grow but dont let your bodies move Girls who are tight with mature minds are for men who lack depth Who have bottle caps for heads cause there's no water room Shave your ***** cause he wants you too Plus your legs cause he wants those smooth Say "please" and "thank you" Pretty girls gotta be polite Say "I'm sorry." cause existing upsets the balance of their breathing If you woulda been sweeter you coulda saved yourslef another breakdown "But i love him." say "Im sorry Sorry. Sorry! sorry..." I appologize.

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May 13, 2018

May 13, 2018 at 11:36 PM UTC

Say

I live in a state where the girls are not gay but the culture is Where my boy only tells you he loves you when it's convenient When your i love you's are only true if they come with the gift of your body I live someplace where the women do not bloom often The girls have guilty minds from putting dainty things on display while men find joy in plucking them but we do not tell dad That nice man is giving girl attention She asks her self if this is love Little girls are too little and too big too They tell you let your mind grow but dont let your bodies move Girls who are tight with mature minds are for men who lack depth Who have bottle caps for heads cause there's no water room Shave your ***** cause he wants you too Plus your legs cause he wants those smooth Say "please" and "thank you" Pretty girls gotta be polite Say "I'm sorry." cause existing upsets the balance of their breathing If you woulda been sweeter you coulda saved yourslef another breakdown "But i love him." say "Im sorry Sorry. Sorry! sorry..." I appologize.

22

I've become accustomed to sending her letters of I love you and pressed flower petals between pages I call ribs My powdered heart is so fine you'd think i wouldn't be able to find the bits She brought her delicate finger tips to press against it I told her of a treasure i had found on my bedroom floor trying lure my skeleton from it's sacred slumber She said she needed a knight on her quest to free her princess bones so I said yes We battled sleep demons with pillow underbellies to tell eachother our calorie counts I promise we're not sick just as lovely as it gets

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May 13, 2018

May 13, 2018 at 6:07 PM UTC

Pressed flower petals

I've become accustomed to sending her letters of I love you and pressed flower petals between pages I call ribs My powdered heart is so fine you'd think i wouldn't be able to find the bits She brought her delicate finger tips to press against it I told her of a treasure i had found on my bedroom floor trying lure my skeleton from it's sacred slumber She said she needed a knight on her quest to free her princess bones so I said yes We battled sleep demons with pillow underbellies to tell eachother our calorie counts I promise we're not sick just as lovely as it gets

7

Do you know how many birthday wishes i wasted on mermaid tails and doll skin? I wanted to be as white as ariel in the arms of a boy who loved a girl without a voice My cousin calls them snowflakes but she is just as prissy as the flowers who didn't love her as much as she loved their skin... I wanted to waste away my melanin I wanted to blend I've lost count the tears I used to water my dreams of dusty rose cheeks and freckels I am- Im not sure of what i am. But i think she is meant to be as she is Let's let her grow a while longer

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May 1, 2018

May 1, 2018 at 8:48 PM UTC

She called them Snowflakes

Do you know how many birthday wishes i wasted on mermaid tails and doll skin? I wanted to be as white as ariel in the arms of a boy who loved a girl without a voice My cousin calls them snowflakes but she is just as prissy as the flowers who didn't love her as much as she loved their skin... I wanted to waste away my melanin I wanted to blend I've lost count the tears I used to water my dreams of dusty rose cheeks and freckels I am- Im not sure of what i am. But i think she is meant to be as she is Let's let her grow a while longer

10

I can feel my collar bones though my stomach grows? Weird how i always hear it groan. I feed her calories yet it's not enough. Most times I feed her nothing but ana says it's still too much. So i walk stairs at night cause she never lets me sleep. If i chew my nails the stubs I'll have to keep. I can't sleep at night i tell you I think i might decay. Im decaying is what they say. I can't count in maths but my intakes to the decimal. Silly me thinking i should let myself feel full. How come im only pretty when im dying?

0

Apr 25, 2018

Apr 25, 2018 at 1:47 AM UTC

Relapse

I can feel my collar bones though my stomach grows? Weird how i always hear it groan. I feed her calories yet it's not enough. Most times I feed her nothing but ana says it's still too much. So i walk stairs at night cause she never lets me sleep. If i chew my nails the stubs I'll have to keep. I can't sleep at night i tell you I think i might decay. Im decaying is what they say. I can't count in maths but my intakes to the decimal. Silly me thinking i should let myself feel full. How come im only pretty when im dying?

11