I think I know why I can’t let you go,
Although, you were never actually mine.
To be fair, you were never in the know,
I was a coward, I had no guts or spine.
I guess everything in my life was like a transaction,
I wanted my investment to have a return.
Good result was produced by methodical action,
The harder I worked, the more I would earn.
But love doesn’t work that way,
Neither does attraction.
Even if you can’t keep your heart at bay,
Your efforts don’t always merit a reaction.
But hey, c’est la vie.
I may have lost a lot of time,
But I’m still young, I’m still me,
And I heartbreak inspires rhyme.
Oct 17, 2018
Oct 17, 2018 at 6:16 PM UTC
You know, I used to think you were everything,
You were God's Special gift.
Around you I was so giddy,
I felt like dancing to swing.
I used to think the sun shone out of your ***
I died inside each time I could make you laugh.
I got down on my knees to pray for you at mass.
I wanted my love for you commemorated on my epitaph.
Your name *** everywhere I turned.
I thought they were signs so harder I yearned.
But time is a funny thing.
With it, what was once a gentle caress,
Can become a bitter sting.
With time I learned you weren't God's gift,
You were just a piece of ****
Around you my heart still flutters and beats too fast,
But only because you're an *******
And I want to kick your ***
I still pray for you, but only because you've lost a good thing (me).
It's done, I've finally broken the spell (free).
Truth is, I really do see your name everywhere,
But only because your name is that generic.
You're not a gem, you're not that rare,
My wasted time is tragic.
This poem is mean and petty,
I'm usually more kind and demure.
But right now my words are cool and steady,
Things are different now, of that you can be sure.
I've said goodbye, I've shut the door.
I used to love you more than life itself,
But now I love me more.
Oct 17, 2018
Oct 17, 2018 at 6:12 PM UTC
The other day I looked at some photos,
Memories played before me as if they were live.
How funny the way time moves and the way life goes,
What feels like a day was really 365.
So much can change in a year.
What you want, who you love, what you fear,
365 days can either give or take away all you hold dear.
For me, a year has brought me plenty,
New hair, new friends, another year in my 20s.
But what a year hasn't changed,
Is the way that I feel.
Between you and I, no words have been exchanged,
A year has done nothing, no wounds have been able to heal.
Some nights I'll look again at those photos and still shed a tear.
In time things will get better, check back again this time next year.
Sep 18, 2018
Sep 18, 2018 at 11:58 PM UTC
I’d like to say I’m over it,
I mean, I really wish I could.
It really is about time I quit,
But this pang has got me good.
I know I’m not the first one,
Heartbreak is chic, it’s classic.
It’s likely older than the Moon and Sun,
Felt in times Jurassic.
The truth can’t be sugar coated
I can say no, and deny, deny, deny,
I’m Sandy, I’m hopelessly devoted,
And not the first to cry.
This all feels so stupid and melodramatic,
I try to deal with charm and wit.
It only really hurts when things are slow and static,
I can’t wait ‘till the day I’m really over it.
Aug 16, 2018
Aug 16, 2018 at 5:40 PM UTC
I’ve heard that some see the world in poetry,
And that some see the world in prose.
Some stop to cry out “Oh, woe is me!”
Some just think “Welp, that’s just the way life goes.”
Some things just don’t go the way you plan,
Some things just fall apart or they break,
Baked goods aren’t always perfect out of the pan.
Think your life is bad? Someone else’s may take the cake.
Sometimes life really is awful, it’s okay to complain,
Sometimes the more one runs, the more one tumbles,
We often get bruised and feel all kinds of pain,
But alas, sometimes the ball just fumbles,
And we watch the way the cookie crumbles.
The cookie always crumbles in uneven fragments,
So naturally someone always get a bigger piece,
But I’ve found that life has a way of finding its balance,
And when I am alone at night, it brings me peace.
Aug 16, 2018
Aug 16, 2018 at 5:38 PM UTC
The End of the World
“It’s the end of the world!”
No, it’s just Monday.
Not a cloud in the sky,
But it still feels like doomsday.
Like Frost, you’ve tasted desire.
It hurts like a mother,
And is as subtle as a house is on fire.
Like Frost, you’ve known hate,
Hate for yourself, hate for your vice.
You play it so cool, you freeze into ice.
Ice numbs the pain,
And for now will suffice.
But when the heat of desire melts what is frozen,
And what has long gone unspoken is finally heard,
All must heed the poignant and heart-stopping omen,
Because what happens next feels like the end of the world.
Jul 23, 2018
Jul 23, 2018 at 2:18 PM UTC
Some truths are told in anger,
Some truths are told in vain,
Sometimes there’s value in candor,
Sometimes truth just causes pain.
Some truths told aren’t told on purpose,
Some come out without consent,
Some when told do a great disservice,
No matter how honorable their intent.
Some truths are never told,
Away in drawers they’re kept,
Things gilded still shine like lustrous gold,
And dry are tears long wept.
I once had a truth I tried to speak,
But it was spoken by another prematurely,
I saw it happen, my voice was weak,
I handled it like a child and far too immaturely.
What was exposed could not be taken back,
It was a point of no return,
I was indignant, it all turned black,
I wanted the world to burn.
And burn it did,
But only mine,
Down hard I slid,
The real world was fine.
With time gone by, I must admit a lesson I learned,
The truth really does set you free,
But to whom my truth concerned,
I can only apologize, it should’ve come from me.
Jul 23, 2018
Jul 23, 2018 at 2:15 PM UTC
They say that there are other:
Fish in the sea,
Eggs in the carton,
Chips in the bag,
Flowers in the garden.
But he’s not a fish,
He’s not an egg,
He’s not a chip,
He’s not flower
He’s him, a person,
And me? I’m a coward.
I sit here alone,
I’ve given fear all my power.
I guess he’ll never know.
What an absolute ******
Feb 14, 2018
Feb 14, 2018 at 7:45 PM UTC
As a Child I loved to play pretend;
It was my favorite game.
As I grew older, I was no different;
You could say it was the same.
I took the stage for the sound of laughter;
I took the stage for praise.
I seldom broke my character,
Even when backstage.
I tried to give them everything they wanted;
Always doing the most, going the extra mile.
I tried to give them everything they needed;
Always with a smile.
It was enough to see them happy;
To see the hurt just fade away.
Even if just for a moment;
It was enough to just make their day.
But then you walked into my life;
And the game I loved had changed.
Your smile was the only one that mattered,
The only one desired, the only one I craved.
The character I knew so well;
Seemed so old and overplayed.
I tried my best to keep my act up;
But my resolve was growing weak.
My thoughts of you would not subside;
Around you I could hardly speak.
But when I could, I was truly happy;
The hurt they never saw just faded away.
Even if I was with you just for a moment;
Your smile could make my day.
I grew to care for you immensely;
I thought I hid it well.
I played it cool intently;
It got harder as I fell.
I looked so different around you;
My cheeks took on a rosy hue.
I took on a different role around you;
I was a fresh-faced ingénue.
Last year you sat beside me;
You asked if someone had my heart.
This moment called for honesty;
But I panicked, and well,
Some old habits just die hard.
I looked ahead, not looking you in the eye;
I did what I did best
I played pretend,
And I told the greatest lie.
Why I did this?
I don’t l know.
Maybe I loved the drama;
Drama always made for a better show.
I often think about that night;
And how I went from cool to cold.
My heart breaks and tears fall as I write;
I only have myself to scold.
I took a final bow that night;
I prematurely said “The End.”
I should have put up a tougher fight;
But I showed cowardice instead.
It's like I'm little girl again,
Now with a broken heart to mend;
Because when I think of you, what could have been,
I can only play pretend.
Jan 31, 2018
Jan 31, 2018 at 2:26 AM UTC
I sit there,
Fingers tapping the table,
I’m going nuts,
My condition unstable.
Should I do it? Should I not?
I feel panic,
Liquid courage I think!
I’ll just take a shot!
I’m a lightweight,
So that doesn’t help,
I’m self-sabotaging,
I do this to myself.
Is this wrong? Is this right?
I think,
I think I should do it,
You’re all I think about at night.
Wow that was creepy,
I take it back,
Only actually not really,
I totally meant that.
But if I do it, what will it mean?
My heart’s skipping like crazy,
I’ve had too much caffeine.
I go outside needing some air,
Even if I did do it,
What of it?
You may not even care.
God this is awful,
Embarrassing, and totally lame.
I decide to listen to music,
But all that I hear sung is your name.
Frankly, I don’t even know you,
Well I do, but not well enough.
Ugh, you’re not even that great.
What ******** I’ll call my own bluff.
I go back inside, pray the Ave Maria,
I wanna throw up.
Ah ****
That shot was a bad idea.
***** this,
***** you,
Why can’t I handle this?
I’m pushing 22.
I feel so lonely in this,
I’m like a teenager, nobody gets me.
I hate sports,
But I have to give it to Gretzky,
I've gotta do it now,
For my own sanity's sake!
That ****** is right,
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
So I stand at the free throw line,
My typing is my dribble,
The “send” tab is my jump,
I lift my finger, and there it goes,
I’ve officially shot my shot.
“Hi :)”
Read at 5:41 p.m.
Dec 12, 2017
Dec 12, 2017 at 5:55 PM UTC