He was a puppy,
Blue eyes, stubby tail, floppy ears.
We walked every day
Sometimes twice or three times
And he loved every one.
Chasing squirrels, watching birds,
Looking back toward me
Showing love the way only a dog can.
He got bigger, our times together did too.
Then my little girl was born into this life
And suddenly I didn’t have time.
No time for walks
No time for lounging
No time for ear scratches watching rain
No time no time no time!
I wish I had taken the time.
Yesterday he crossed the rainbow bridge.
Seven years is entirely too few.
It felt like this could never happen
Like he’d be there no matter what
But I wasn’t there for him.
I had to say goodbye through a grainy
Video.
And now he’s gone.
I wish I had taken the time.
How many times I walked past him?
How many times I didn’t reach out?
How many times I kept on going about
My day?
But what about his day?
Wasn’t I his whole day?
Wasn’t I his morning, noon, and night?
Wasn’t my attention all he wanted?
I wish I had taken the time.
And now…
God ****** now… HOW?!
How do I explain to a 3 year old
That Duke isn’t coming home today?
That Duke’s bed will always be empty?
That Duke’s fish won’t need food in it?
That Duke’s leash will gather dust?
That we’ll never hear his ears shaking
Or his feet tapping
Or his “ahh-rooo” howling?
That he’s gone
I wish I had taken the time.
Why didn’t I just take the ******* time?
Jul 16, 2025
Jul 16, 2025 at 8:44 PM UTC
I’ve been snacking all morning.
Chips,
Fruit,
Soda,
Even a delicious scotcheroo.
But now it’s lunch time and I have nothing
Left....
So I sit here idly staring out the window.
Thinking of the snacks I had just hours earlier;
Wishing I’d saved them for this moment.
The light of the vending machine glows in my peripheral vision.
Snacks and treats begging to be bought for the measly sum of $1.
All those snacks I could have,
But I’ll just look out this window.
Enjoying my break without lunch.
Feb 25, 2019
Feb 25, 2019 at 1:47 PM UTC
For months I’ve promised myself I would do this,
Said over and over “I need to write more.”
Well I’m finally doing it.
Starting today I’ll write every day.
Sometimes it will hurt and sometimes I will struggle.
Struggle to find the words and struggle to find
The motivation—
But I will write.
I’m not an overly confident person and I fight mightily with my demons.
But writing helps and I don’t write enough.
So expect to see me more; those of you in this community—
Because I’m back and I’m writing!
Feb 20, 2019
Feb 20, 2019 at 11:30 AM UTC
This approaching despair,
This feeling like everything’s out of control,
The want to run from myself.
Knowing that you’re done with me,
Feeling like I’m drifting through everyday
Like a rudderless boat in a swirling sea.
Feeling like who I am
Isn’t me.
I’ve felt this before
And I hoped I never would.
Nov 29, 2018
Nov 29, 2018 at 4:24 PM UTC
To spend with someone who embarrasses you.
To spend someone who angers you.
To spend with someone who disgusts you.
To spend with someone who makes you feel unwanted.
Life is just too ******* short
To be spent with someone like me
Nov 6, 2018
Nov 6, 2018 at 12:36 PM UTC
I’m not who I was.
I’m not likable.
I’m nothing to anyone.
I’m not special.
I’ve realized,
I just don’t want to be me anymore.
Jun 28, 2018
Jun 28, 2018 at 12:26 PM UTC
I find myself doing the things you used to do.
The way you'd bite your lip when you were thinking.
The way you'd put your hands together
During a scary movie.
I find myself mimicking the little things
That I loved about you.
And it breaks my heart to feel this;
That I can't get you out of my head.
Your actions, your smile, your voice:
They're imprinted in my brain.
You became a part of me
And I think that's what made it hurt so much
When you left and took that part of me
With you, away from me.
Everybody tells me
"Just get over it"
"Move on"
"It was just a stupid summer crush"
But you were everything to me
And I don't think I'll ever be able to feel that again.
I steeled my heart and closed off my mind.
I'll never let anyone in like that again.
Never.
But sometimes... I want to
Nov 20, 2017
Nov 20, 2017 at 10:49 AM UTC
You have to be strong.
Because me, I'm weak,
I've let them break me down.
You have to be wise.
Because me, I'm confused,
I've let them cloud my judgement.
You have to be loved.
Because me, I'm despised,
I've let them change who I am.
You have to be far from me.
Because me, I'm a sickness,
I've let them destroy the good in me.
I've let them turn me into something I
Don't recognize anymore.
I've become what they always wanted.
Sep 17, 2017
Sep 17, 2017 at 6:55 PM UTC
You knew I was broken
You knew I couldn't take more loss
You knew I was holding to you
Like a drowning man
Clinging to driftwood.
And still you left me.
You said I was needy
You said I was clingy
You said I wasn't strong enough alone
You said it was my fault.
And you said those things with ease.
Well it's been a while.
And I thought I'd get better.
But I didn't.
You ****** me up...
Or maybe I did that to myself.
Jul 28, 2017
Jul 28, 2017 at 10:36 PM UTC
I question everything I
Did that day.
I go back over everything I
Said to anyone else.
I return to all the insecurities
And worries that I've had so long.
Before I sleep I start to wonder
Do I even know
Who I am?
Jun 13, 2017
Jun 13, 2017 at 12:13 AM UTC