His awareness,
the absence of his stabilizing presence,
may seem like carelessness, laziness, or even unwillingness,
no matter how many ways he tried to convey
his longing to stay.
The weight of a heart,
an anchor they found
safer to cut from the ship,
sinking into a
cold,
blue world.
Not many knew what he held; an abstract weight,
convinced and buried beneath concrete.
Holding their ship in place,
a no contest, yet he contested,
dismissing the weight unseen,
delegated
to be carried
by me.
My sentence was outlined,
Penned by a hand, refined by the eyes,
Owned by an author, who never owned the weight,
Of denying my cries,
Defining a mind, out of breath, gasping for air
Hidden behind, the time,
I was hoping to find, by following blind,
Purpose assigned, disguised as the climb.
May 6
May 6, 2026 at 3:23 PM UTC
His awareness,
The absence of his identity, left him grasping for air
With nothing to cling to but the chains.
He found reprieve in the confines,
Suspended, holding onto that line,
Felt like he was holding his life.
Comforted, by the strain,
Tense shoulders, the activation,
Muscles, trained to remain, ready and braced.
The world kept spinning, people still lived,
The world kept spinning, moments.
Piercing through the shadows,
A flame so bright,
As if the sun came to earth,
In the middle of the night.
For a moment, I was blinded,
Forgotten by the light,
Once again blighted,
By the creatures of my mind.
His awareness,
It's time to give in.
It's time to give in.
It's time to let go,
Of that thin little line, your desire for life.
His persuasion - salvation.
May 6
May 6, 2026 at 3:22 PM UTC
His awareness,
Palms open, arms unsure if they should brace, Shoulders, begging for ache.
whispering reassurances, favoring his mistake.
His pain would be released, with every breath drawn.
Every breath, the warmth was a moment
near the hearth, promising seductive sensations,
as long as he continued to breathe.
Looking through memories, clarity, screaming, pleading,
Simply requesting witness.
My awareness - frantically knocking the door, preparing its breach.
Until now, he had been minimizing,
the weight of his life,
And those who were drowning with him.
Became clear with every attempt to remain aware,
Weight, carried by his identity,
No longer confined him.
Tight, shoulders pressed in,
Trying to solve a puzzle, not possible.
Eyes
Wary of light, knees locked,
Chest tightened, awareness heightened.
I can see,
Counting the links as they passed me,
Narrowing my vision, focusing on the iron,
Noticing the imperfections, the lack of integrity,
The cracks in the structure, that structure,
shaped inside.
Lost in a sea of thought, his awareness,
finally free to surface.
My head, above water,
My head, reorienting.
May 6
May 6, 2026 at 3:22 PM UTC