Monday rolls around
I have some cookies, yum
Wait, how many calories are in them?
240?
How many calories should I intake?
Hey, it’s time
Let’s ask strangers if my body needs work
Tuesday rolls around
More cookies
Another 240 calories
Plus a granola bar
How much is that altogether?
Will I gain weight?
Oh, **** no
Wednesday rolls around
At least I can say
I don’t have belly rolls
Does that make this worth it?
The not eating
The pathetic attempts at purging
Who the **** fails at purging?
Thursday rolls around
I feel better
Less dizzy
Less hollow
Am I eating too much now?
Guess I’ll skip lunch and lie again
Oh, **** no
Friday rolls around
Time to get ice cream
Who am I kidding?
When was the last time
I ate without counting calories
In the back of my head?
I need to be—
May 24
May 24, 2026 at 11:17 PM UTC
There’s something so beautiful,
In seeing someone snap.
Seeing their willpower fade
Their struggles go away.
It's sad but necessary.
There’s something so beautiful,
In seeing someone give up.
Stop trying
Slowly dying.
At least that's what they say.
There’s something so beautiful,
In seeing someone break.
Fully break
Sobbing, screaming, slowly fading away.
Or maybe I just need it to be.
May 8
May 8, 2026 at 8:14 PM UTC
Are people born broken?
Are they?
Or are they made this way
Carved this way
I used to think I wasn’t broken
Wasn’t alone
Wasn’t sad
Just bummed out
Just going through it
But clearly I’ve been lying to myself
Who broke me?
Better yet
Was I broken or did I break myself?
Was this preplanned for me?
Did “God” plan this?
Is it all in “His” plan?
If it is it seems like a pretty ****** up plan.
Yet again it could be worse
I could’ve died in the womb
I could’ve died in that car crash
I could die right now so why am I still scared?
I used to fear death
Then I didn’t
Then I did
An endless cycle
I’d like to think if I die today I’d be proud of myself
But would I be?
Proud of the person I stare at daily in the mirror
Who looks back at me?
The sad, scared, broken Peter?
The “I don’t give a **** Peter”
The “Don’t **** me off Peter?”
Who knows anymore
May 6
May 6, 2026 at 8:20 PM UTC
God I wish I was pretty
What is pretty?
For a guy?
Is it all a lie?
Is there some sort of rule book?
I’ve searched every nook
Every ******* cranny
Well I ever be hot like Danny?
Is it being muscular?
But not too muscular?
Skinny
But not too skinny
Fat
But not too fat
God forbid you want a snack
May as well snap my back
Mar 15
Mar 15, 2026 at 1:50 AM UTC
God the irony.
It’s actually insane.
I wrote my college essay the other day
About how I purged and it actually succeeded.
It’s funny.
That hasn’t happened yet, yet I act like all my efforts to stop are in vain.
Do I know deep down it’ll happen someday?
One day I won’t be able to stop- god am I really that conceited?
I remember my world used to be sunny,
Yet now I crave the pain
The pain of feeling like I almost cut enough to bleed- will it happen today?
Like it’s something I “needed.”
Holy **** this is pure irony.
Will the toilet finally stain?
Will the blood spill today?
Maybe it is something I needed… not needed I should say need.
Nov 5, 2025
Nov 5, 2025 at 10:17 PM UTC
I’m a good-for-nothing ****
God I hate this.
I hate me.
I hate how much of a **** I am.
Im a ****
They say they miss-
Miss me.
Can I drown in a dam?
I should die for being a ****
I should die for letting him say I’m his.
God **** me,
I should scram.
Scram off the face of the earth
Nov 5, 2025
Nov 5, 2025 at 10:09 PM UTC
Monster,
Heartless,
I hate those words.
Pretty ironic, because they describe me so well.
When we broke up, they almost killed themselves,
And I couldn’t even cry.
Couldn’t even shed a single ******* tear.
What the **** is wrong with me?
I should die.
I want to die.
Why don’t I die?
Why don’t they want me to die?
Why do they want me alive?
Why would anyone want me alive?
Im just a waste of space.
I shouldn’t be here.
So why am I here?
Nov 3, 2025
Nov 3, 2025 at 9:38 PM UTC
****
It’s a pretty short word.
It still cuts deep,
Just like a knife.
I never thought I’d be in such a rut.
I used to think anyone calling me that would be absurd.
I won’t make a peep,
Can I just end my life?
****
It’s the best word to describe me I’ve ever heard.
Can I just leap?
Will I see them in the afterlife?
****
I feel like **** when their words are slurred.
The fourth floor doesn’t look that steep,
The pain in my heart feels so rife?
Nov 3, 2025
Nov 3, 2025 at 9:28 PM UTC
Isn’t it funny how numbers define us?
Whether it’s the number on the scale,
The grade in the class,
The SAT score.
Can anyone discuss?
It seems like a cautionary tale,
I feel like shattered glass,
My heart has been broken laying on the floor.
Nov 3, 2025
Nov 3, 2025 at 9:19 PM UTC
It’s my fault,
My fault they tried doing it.
It’s my fault,
They almost died.
It’s my fault,
My fault they are in the ER.
It’s my fault,
My fault they can’t talk to any of us.
It’s my fault,
I broke up with them.
It’s my fault,
I broke them.
It’s my fault,
The world isn’t normal anymore.
It’s my fault,
We lost one of ours.
Nov 3, 2025
Nov 3, 2025 at 9:00 PM UTC