Yes I'm the pregnant girl
Carrying fluids and fats in replacement of a child
I am the girl whose body component is mostly made up of fats.
Ashamed???.....Yes,
But not of what YOU say anymore
But of ME, letting you define me
But of ME, letting you paddle my existence
I am ashamed of MYSELF for jogging 60miles a day just to slimfit myself into your T-shirt
I am ashamed of me downloading several "LOSE BELLY FAT" apps and making my body go through every pain and exhaustion, so you could be proud to call me YOUR OWN in the public.
I am ashamed of me for fighting and cursing the genes that makes up my entire being,
Wishing for the perfect tummy, figure 8 shape and trying to please your existence forgetting mine.
But it's over!!!
I am done being ashamed of the fat in me,
I am done being ashamed of hiding,
I am done wishing,
And YES! I am the fat, pot-bellied, intelligent, smart damsel you lost while searching for a perfect, slimfitted, cuddle mate.
Aug 23, 2020
Aug 23, 2020 at 5:04 PM UTC
The Truth will set you free
But free from what??
The ******* of the heart??
It relives the heart but restricts activities
It relies on a pace maker to keep it in check
But it also deprives a heart of it's pace maker
And sometimes kills a heart
Lying puts a war to hold
It sometimes heals the heart faster
It relives the heart of it's burden for a while
But needs to be checked upon, fed, nurtured or the heart explodes from the toxic effect of lie.
Withholding the truth keeps the heart pounding faster than normal
It sometimes fails the pacemaker
And beats scarily faster than other organs can handle
It adapts quickly to a temporary control
It adapts strongly to a permanent control
Either ways it adapts
The Truth heals the heart and destroys a heart
A lie, heals the heart and destroys a heart
What then truly makes us free??
Humanity is a contradiction between circumstances and expectations
Jul 16, 2020
Jul 16, 2020 at 10:51 AM UTC
Hi....
It's been a while....
I thought i was done needing you but today....
Today is a reminder about how the past few days distant from you was a mistake..
I guess I'm back to the number 1.
Yesterday....uhmmm...
I laughed so much that my tummy really ached
Nothing was funny actually but I laughed and I do that mostly when the pain refuses to stop as you already know.
So, here I am
Really broken
Really lost
In a pain so deep but
Still laughing though
And I want you back
Cause yea, I would never really remember the memories of true laughter if you don't help me get through this.
I forever be in hell (in life or death) cause that's what it feels like right now.
And this time, I don't want your healing to be temporal but Eternal cause that's what you truly want from me right???
I mean that's the essence for creating me right??
-PEARLSPOEMS
Jun 7, 2020
Jun 7, 2020 at 4:03 PM UTC
I'm lost
I'm in a crowd so I guess that's why I feel lost....
....No.....
This feeling is not of one who's voice is faint and can't be heard cause of the crowd
But I'm really lost
I'm lost in my dreams
And every struggle to find my path brings back memories that I buried
And....really.... I'm lost
I hear his voice even in my dreams
The weight of his hands tore into my will and made it broken
I can still feel the lust in his face when he pulled out of me and poured his sticky liquid on me
That feeling of satisfaction he had ruined my path
I tried so hard to forget but his voice still shouts "I know you want it to baby...... enjoy it........" And even though he is so far from me now I hear it loud and clear every day
He stole mother's words from me
I'm sorry I thought you wanted it also, you just needed a little push....."
A little push he called it
A little push
That hunts me so bad
And leaves me at the mercy of
LOST....TO BE FOUND.
-#say no to ****
-PEARLSPOEMS
Jun 3, 2020
Jun 3, 2020 at 5:22 PM UTC
Hi....
It's been 47 days now and I really don't know when all this is going to stop so I could finally gain access to you.
The sweat that dripped down my body each time I honoured your invitation.
At first the sweats were irritating, I would whine about it or hurry home to wash it off but with time I got used to it and appreciated it.
Most times you leave me in a lot of body ache that takes days to heal....
47 days, that's all I needed to truly understand how important you are to my career, most likely my world.
I grew up dreaming and making up stories in my head about being an actor but not really you.
I always get angry each time I had to choose you over sleep or fun time with my friends.....
Little did I know you meant more than the fame or awards being an actor would give to me......
47 days and still counting with no idea when I would stop cause even when this is over, I'm not sure the rules that would be enforced to contain this virus, would favor us.
But the few times I spent with devoting certain hours of my day to you was and would most likely be one of memories i can never forget.
The bonding, the jokes, insults, anger, joy and fun you always give the people that comes together under you.
I'm really looking forward to having you back to either dance to drum beats or music and move from one stage direction to another, giving life to dead scripts.
Much love from your biggest fan
Pearlspoems 😘
May 9, 2020
May 9, 2020 at 1:27 PM UTC
But come to think of it....
If we were living in a world where pain doesn't make you cry or feel sad or leaves scars, what kind of a world would we live in🤔
No pain to make you cautious of the heat from a burning bush.
No pain to "wow" your struggles when it finally pays.
Well pain is painful but it's a constant X in solving any equation.
Apr 30, 2020
Apr 30, 2020 at 12:10 PM UTC
It took a knock on her door to change her world
A knock that should have never been heard if she had honoured the invite from "Savior"
And now she's knocking with all her might forgetting the pain her heart is feeling
All she needs right now is for the door to open
Cause the invite wasn't really from a "Savior"
It was from Her Demons that she could have "Saved".
Apr 30, 2020
Apr 30, 2020 at 11:54 AM UTC
I..........li.......lo...
Uhmmmmm
I think i...uhmmm....like love...
I'm sorry, I guess my heart doesn't feel right responding to you
Knowing you were once the reason it broke to pieces.
Apr 24, 2020
Apr 24, 2020 at 6:46 PM UTC
I thought I was immune to pain,
Cause I had lived with it and i sure do know how it feels.
The wounds it gave me for as long as I could remember left something different but sensual
Because I stopped feeling it's sting each time it got treated.
The scars it left me suddenly embraced beauty and forgot it was meant to be hidden and not seen.
But it soon changed
It found a rival
And oohhh it fought so hard to keep me
An even though I felt my sanity leaving
I was scared, none of my six senses were functioning
It became a mixed feeling
I felt as though a shadow was soon about to gain control of my existence.
At first it was scary, threatening my identity cause have lived with it for so long that being distant seemed like a threat to me
But I was wrong
I was wrong to ever let you feel comfortable with me
I was wrong to build a fantasy when you all you ever did was worsen my health
You took more from me than I gave to you
You took my sanity, my sense of feeling, my existence
So on this day when love has finally found and fixed me,
I say GOODBYE PAIN.
Apr 24, 2020
Apr 24, 2020 at 6:39 PM UTC
My Generation?
Uhmm
That's.....uhmmm....Huge!
What I expect from my generation???
Why don't we try it this way??
What foundation was my generation built on?
What moral, principles, values or doctrines were carved into the hearts of people from my generation???
Our foundation was already built, long before we existed
Clearly built by "the society" like we were always reminded, cause hell yes, we live in it.
But that was the beginning of our loss,
We met the society in existence, way before we had the guts to build our own foundation not to talk of the opportunity to challenge or even change it.
And it saddens me to say that I expect NOTHING from My Generation..
You know why?..
Because it is bleeding us out even before we existed.
It tells us today, education is the greatest gift you can ever possess
But guess who runs the market?
Soliders with maybe Secondary School certificates.
A great number of them as that.
Any traces of rebelling against the society who"protects you", is kicked off from the devil's dinner.
And then we are enstranged from our freedom and have to start afresh!
The God damm society gave us the ******* fear we experience every ******* day!
To enstrange us from the devil's intimacy.
They say, you have to take risk to be daring enough to beat the society hands down
But guess what? We ******* don't choose the consequences that comes with the risk!
So in case you have some problem with your present social status, academic goals, crisis, whatever the ******* problem it is?
Get the **** up and **** the damaged society you exist in!!!!!.
And that's what I expect from My Generation.
Apr 15, 2020
Apr 15, 2020 at 8:36 PM UTC