in my brain is a library
filled with the distasteful and bad
It smells like rosemary
and it looks a little bit sad
nothing is organized
and spider webs cover the walls
there are novels I despise
and I watch as each one falls
I do not need this library anymore
I can lock it and give up the key
sweep it away like dirt on the floor
and finally, just let those novels be
I am stronger than that room
I know that I can be joyful and free
like a marigold in the sun, I’ll let myself bloom
and let myself rest, under the shade of a willow tree
Jun 30, 2025
Jun 30, 2025 at 12:00 AM UTC
my wrists are red
and my mind has gone blue
clinging to brief release so sweet
as my vision blurs with a dark hue
Sep 28, 2024
Sep 28, 2024 at 1:36 AM UTC
I'm afraid of the dark
I'm frightened at the way it closes in
How it ***** the breath out of me
The lurking shadows follow me
And haunt me in my dreams
The dark used to be peaceful
But now it's full of terror
All my faults
And all my emotions
Come out of their cages
They torment me all night long
Without letting up
It's in the dark where I can't pretend
Where I have to face the truth
That I can't hide forever
Darkness will always find me
I cannot escape
I'm afraid of the dark
Sep 25, 2024
Sep 25, 2024 at 12:36 AM UTC
I knew it was getting bad again…
When in the morning it got harder to get up
When I kept throwing up…
And I knew it was getting bad again
When my cheeks started to hurt from fake smiling
When my laughter turned hollow as I kept lying
I knew it was getting bad again
When my hands started to tremble
And my composure started to crumble
And I knew it was getting bad again
When I wanted to but couldn't eat
And eating without getting sick became a treat
I knew it was getting bad again
When my headaches grew stronger
And the noise grew louder
And I knew it was getting bad again
When something I tried so hard to forget came back
And the voices in my head all said "You need that"
I knew it was getting bad again
When it got harder to resist
The lie in my head that couldn't be missed
And I knew it was getting bad again
When I lay in bed all day
Crying endlessly and not being able to pray
I knew it was getting bad again
When I lay awake at night
Wondering if I really was alright
And I knew it was getting bad again
When the darkness started to close in
And I couldn't see Him
I knew it was getting bad again
When a simple conversation became exhausting
And messing around was draining
And I knew it was getting bad again
When I started to forget how to eat
When I started to forget how to sleep
I knew it was getting bad again
When I had no motivation for anything
When everything felt numbing
And I knew it was getting bad again
When I could hardly walk
And when I could barely talk
I knew it was getting bad again
When I became numb
And all my emotions seemed dumb
And I knew it was getting bad again
When I started to question if anyone loved me
And if they would all soon leave me
I knew it was getting bad again
When the thought of going out became terrifying
And I stayed inside hiding
And I knew it was getting bad again
When my eyes became red
And my head felt like led
I knew it was getting bad again
When the dark circles became consistent
And when dry, smarting eyes became persistent
And I know it's getting bad again
When I feel the darkness swallow me up
And I can't get up
Sep 24, 2024
Sep 24, 2024 at 4:35 PM UTC
I just want to be loved
To not be criticized for everything I do
I want to be loved
For who I am
Tear away perfection
Take away my mask
I just want to be loved
No strings attached
No "you are so mature I wouldn't have you any other way"
I just want to be loved
To feel safe and protected
And not be someone else
I just want to be loved
Not live up to the standards that have been set
Not to feel always pressured to stay being loved
I just want to be loved
Sep 24, 2024
Sep 24, 2024 at 4:31 PM UTC
I sit across from Grief
In silence
He stares at me and I at him
Suddenly he breaks the silence by a tiny whisper
I stare at him as the realization of what he said sinks in
He's right
What he says is true
"No one cares. No one will help. No one will ever know."
I sit there, tears forming in my eyes
This small man who stares at me with such a sad expression is right
I take a deep breath and prepare to leave
"You cannot leave," grief shakes his head.
I look at where the door to the room was.
Nothing but wall was there
Fear grabs my heart
I can't leave
There is no way out
I glance at Grief who sits there
Staring at the ground
And slowly, a small smile forms on his mouth
Sep 24, 2024
Sep 24, 2024 at 4:28 PM UTC