I smell like regret, intertwined with sweat.
The Lord's Prayer is resting on my tongue, under my breath.
There's heavy sighing, eyes closed, I's dotted with hearts, X's and O's.
... yet no one knows.
May 22, 2017
May 22, 2017 at 5:27 PM UTC
Sometimes I wonder if...
God, I just start to wonder
What is there to wonder when you've wandered to the point of no return?
Thoughts that do not seem bleak and horrid, but more so pointless and dull.
As if color faded away, and lights started to dim.
What do you do?
What are you to do when it feels like you can never win?
Mar 2, 2016
Mar 2, 2016 at 12:20 AM UTC
I let my emotions plague my soul.
I tend to use a tattered heart and tainted words,
watch it convert into poetry.
Because poetry is not just words of the mind, but a message of being.
A formation of subconscious memories from one human being to another.
Poetry allows us to grow, to prosper.
Sometimes, all you need to hear is a line that makes your heart stop. A reality check that stirs in motivation.
However, a phrase could stop the heart, let walls break, the earth shake, and tear us into two.
Poetry is a tool, to be used for better- or for worse- in order to ignite as all one.
Poetry is unity.
Sep 20, 2015
Sep 20, 2015 at 9:35 PM UTC
I don't think I've ever despised myself more than I ever have in this very moment.
I let myself crave you,
I let myself fall for you,
I broke for you.
I yearned for you like a small child staring into a candy store-
To look at not to touch-
But, oh, did I touch and did every touch feel like a sudden and overwhelming flame.
A desire so bright that it could light the darkest of hearts.
Too bad it burned your own heart in the process.
Sep 7, 2015
Sep 7, 2015 at 9:46 PM UTC
Few words could describe how I feel,
I could use simplistic phrases and cliché notions,
A desire, if you will.
I could call it a romantic lust,
A yearning,
A need.
But I refuse to call it that.
I become a whirlwind of emotions.
A puddle of a person.
I feed off of the affection you give to me.
*A kiss to the nose.
A kiss to the lips.
A touch of hands.*
Silence, followed by laughter.
Do you realize that we are perfect?
Aug 27, 2015
Aug 27, 2015 at 4:25 PM UTC
I had coffee on my breath when our lips first intertwined.
Short,
Detached,
But not urgent.
Our second was a surprise-
Something that quite literally caught me off guard.
A whirlwind of emotions soon followed.
Happiness.
Relief.
Confusion.
Everything, but a sense of contentment.
Aug 18, 2015
Aug 18, 2015 at 7:50 PM UTC
A mask and a face are virtually the same to me and whenever everything comes crashing around me, it's not the mask the leaves but the face that bleeds, leaving perforated scars as masqueraded lies, and I will swear to you that I am fine.
Jul 24, 2015
Jul 24, 2015 at 11:27 AM UTC
Because nothing really matters if the trees are still green, or if the sky is the most vibrant shade of blue, because we are not the kind of species to bleed out cries of "please-
bring some type of change!"
But I am not the typical human, I need change like I need the rain for life to bloom. I need change like I need you- the careful grasp on the wrist, guiding me like the watchful mother I will always love.
But I do not see things in the way that others breathe. I do not think purely for me. I desire another's happiness- to see the joy spread across that face like they're children who perceive the world like a giant candy store through huge lenses.
What does that mean? Perceiving oneself to be different. Am I truly unique like a rare gem in a desolate cave, or rather, does that make me a humanistic vessel wandering around in this huge world?
Jul 18, 2015
Jul 18, 2015 at 5:40 PM UTC
So, I don’t remember the last time I did something extravagant and cheesy for you. I just kinda want to do something nice, that will let you know how much I care about you. So uhm, bring on the sappy romance?
"There must be something in the way you look at me- some days I feel like our eyes collide like a billon galaxies- there is so much going on, but I don’t ever want to look away.
Each glance is always mesmerizing, like the type of glimpse between two awkward summer lovers on the steepest of braes.
When I look into those eyes, do you know what I see? I see a second chance at life- a life that would be anything but mediocre, something that is meant to be cherished, to be shared.
(As cheesy as this sounds) I want nothing more than the share the love that I have for you, with the entire world. If I could scream it to the heavens, I would, but I’ll just whisper it in your ear, because my heaven is planted on this earth, two feet in front of me within arm’s reach.
Somedays I wonder if you know how much you truly mean to me. Because I am happy. Happiness tends to be lies shrouded in bitter smiles, but with you it’s this tangible thing. A thing with wings that could make even the darkest of souls sing.
I know it’s stupid. I know it’s stupid to get so attached to someone, especially to someone who could walk away within a matter of moments. Anyone can. I could blink, and you could be gone. So I’ll tape my eyes open and try not to sleep, because what if you’re not there next to me?
So here’s a few words from you to me- endless thoughts like a vivid dream- everything that I see. Everything I would like us to.
A reality.
Jul 1, 2015
Jul 1, 2015 at 10:22 PM UTC
I have jumbled up and troubled thoughts that could pierce an ocean.
Thoughts that swirl inside my cortex like a raging whirlpool, thoughts I cannot escape.
And the anxiety will bury me, bury me further inside than my vessel ever will.
So much, in fact, that I can feel my soul attempting to escape from this body... This... Meat sack that never was or ever will become "me."
So tonight, I will hide. I will hide my mind in the sky- full of all the stars and galaxies and will fill my head with thoughts of shinning stars, and things that'll allow me to break free.
Because you see-
I just need a little space to breathe.
Jun 21, 2015
Jun 21, 2015 at 5:52 PM UTC