Across the room, across the universe
our eyes meet and I’m all kinds of
obsessed, possessed, awkward
and I can’t even say hello
You exist over there, staring into
nothing, you’re your own world
beautiful in a shy sort of way
today could mean forever, forever
You’re the type of girl
I could take home but still
make me come out of my skin
if this is sin, take me to hell
take me to hell
Be my summertime, be my rain
be everything, be yourself
take this journey with me, with me
you feel like home, feels like home
The silence reaches into my soul
and I’m all kinds of devastated
it’s complicated and love can
**** things up, **** things up
You’re my best friend, my beauty
my being, my universe shattered
when I thought I’d lost you, lost you
to the pain I couldn’t work through
You’re the type of girl
I’d walk through flames for
and smile on the other side
I’d smile on the other side
Be my summertime, be my rain
be everything, be yourself
take this journey with me, with me
you feel like home, feels like home
Across the room, across the universe
for better, for worse, for us
I trust this with my soul, my soul
intertwined with yours, no regrets
Sunsets and candlelight and the every day
mundane is so beautiful with you
in your own world, existing
becoming part of the tapestry
You’re the type of girl
I always wanted, always wanted
to be my forever
please be my forever
Be my summertime, be my rain
be everything, be yourself
take this journey with me, with me
you feel like home, feels like home
9h ago
Jun 3, 2026 at 8:25 PM UTC
The kiss goodbye lives inside
every molecule of my soul
never fading, unlike the rain
exposing nerves, frayed and simplified
distilled into a few words like
“I love you”
It doesn't fill the container
it's the remainder of the fade
the drip drop into dreamland
where my energy folds into hers
so easy, too easy, maybe
I'm crazy for believing in this
existing in the realm of poetry
of sonnets and rainbows and touch
and life reaching through
cracks in the sidewalk, a realm
underneath the dull ache of reality
The ghosts of her hands leave
an image on my skin like memories
reaching through the negative until
exposed by light and chemistry
the magic explodes and everyone can see
the joy consuming my entirety
underneath the tears, like rain
exposing vulnerability underneath
the mask, frontline defenses because
I can't stand to see me cry
I'll hide behind poetry, hide behind
metaphor because the metaphysical reaches through
cracks in the sidewalk, a realm
underneath the dull ache of reality
I broke myself and rebuilt
brick by brick dissolving in the rain
I can't avoid the ache, even though
I've been given tools, techniques
some say love is a disease
taking over rationality, logically
we control our destiny, our feelings
emotions getting in the way
of the journey towards the center
of the ****** I can't forget until
it happens again, and if it's a sin
send me straight to hell
she's an incarnation of immortality
the totality of everything I thought
was impossibly out of reach and
the rain teaches me that nothing
lasts but nothing is lost even through
cracks in the sidewalk, a realm
underneath the dull ache of reality
Afterglow, and she's asleep, peacefully
unaware of the contradictory nature
of my soul, relaxed, so tempted by
sleep, yet aflame with the energy
of a thousand suns, laser focused
on how much I love her, exposed
sweat drop dripping to the floor
I can't say I adore myself, but her
her spirit, her beauty, her heart
has my undivided attention
Words mixed up and contorted
into “I love you” mumbled in the dark
as the rain pulls me into dreamland
through the cracks in the sidewalk, a realm
underneath the dull ache of reality
Apr 21
Apr 21, 2026 at 7:36 PM UTC
I thought it was the winter
I thought it was the chill in the air
Courtship with despair like a drug
Intoxicated by misery
A mystery without a conclusion
A riddle without an answer
Dancing with the darkness and the devil
Resting on my shoulders
while I'm impossibly awake
I can't shake the feeling
That I'm caught up in the wind
Winding through wounds I'll never speak about
I won't speak because the sun is out
Flowers bloom in the spaces
Left by photographs that will never manifest
In the places where I once shared
Like there was no tomorrow
I'll post tomorrow
No one seems to notice the absence
It must be the economy
It must be the war
It must be the loss of innocence
Innocent ignorance because
life is kind of tolerable
Beautiful enough to expose
to anyone and everyone
Everyone seems so angry, so afraid
Of losing the last precious drops of normalcy
As I walk aimlessly, wasting time
In between appointments, taking care
Taking care of myself as if
I'm not thinking about overdose
Overdose for Christmas, give it up for Lent
Or so I've been told
Told that love is resistance
Love is the answer, cherish it
Give it your undivided attention
And it will give back to you
Until it fades away into
threadbare sheets and routine
Sunk costs and longevity linger
Until all that's left is time
Time to feel unloved, unseen
Unsettled into a trench of habitual remorse
I thought it was the sunlight
Fading too fast into darkness
Pictures don't manifest in the absence of light
Birds sleep in silence, movement suspended
Until the gravity swallows me whole
My socials are haunted
Unlit spaces filled to capacity
With a cacophony of blank pages
Updates left fallow and no one
No one no one has the spoons
To sift through a thousand lines
of ******** streaming through
conscious thought in and out of
phase with the universe asking
if I’ve noticed the days getting longer
daylight lingering for a few minutes
more than I thought I’d have
to waste staring at flowers
I used to take pictures of
I don’t know when I stopped
or if I still feel ripples
in my soul when beauty shows up
when I can’t show up
to my own funeral, although
I think I’ve been invited, but
I can’t remember when I noticed
It wasn’t winter anymore
Mar 27
Mar 27, 2026 at 8:03 PM UTC
Patterns dance across the tabletop
connection floats through intimate thoughts
dreams and goals and aspirations
moments momentarily in focus
narratives appropriate for the season
time keeping progression like lines
on a map outlined in chalk vibrant
until February rain washes away optimism
I was trapped once
stuck in a conundrum between
agony of a future soaked through
with impossibilities and a past
left in a puddle of blood
dark with age and unrecognizable
to an unblinking eye
There’s not a lot that makes sense
caught up in the sensibilities
of a mind scattered to the wind
ashes from a funeral pyre I lit
without outside help even though
I could argue that some **** happened
That doesn’t matter now
filtered through conversations I hear
only in passing, a passenger
on a trip down dissociation lane
Mar 4
Mar 4, 2026 at 9:10 PM UTC
Still water, tall grass
tickling knees rushing along
a lake made of sapphire glass
Fog lazily creeping into the sunrise
air becoming warmer almost imperceptibly
it’s too cold for shorts but
the desert awakens as grasshoppers avoid
birds announcing their intentions
I mention something about boredom
and my brother agrees and adds
that he’d rather be on the phone
with his latest conquest
I vaguely understand why he’s obsessed
with girls because I feel tingling
staring at Carmen Electra smiling
from his bedroom wall
I would never confess to him
I don’t think he’d understand
but I know he’d keep my secret
I’m too young to understand
his complicated feelings about me
and how I threw his chaotic life into
double-edged trauma, an excuse
for the trouble he seemed to be in
all the ******* time, dad hollering
threatening violence that often
trickled into my atmosphere
I fear him and his retaliation
but he’s the only brother I trust
scared of the blood I hadn’t met
I worship him because he protects me
caring through teenage angst and sarcasm
larger than life and the bullies
that could never leave me alone
My home is him and this fishing trip
I hate fishing but I love the lake
the obvious lack of humanity
and relative silence filling the gaps
in between his complaints and dad
telling him to shut up for once
Somewhere, tucked away and forgotten
there’s a porcelain music box shaped
into a swan with a wind up mechanism
It plays the first few notes of Swan Lake
he found it in the hospital gift shop
the day I was born he didn’t know
if I would survive and he never said it
but I wonder if he hates me for existing
I feel it during fights, during all those
times he disappeared into the streets
but in a way, I abandoned him
and the idea of family bliss because
all I can think is “I wish he stayed home”
as a mosquito bites the back of my neck
The trip is over, the car is too small
to contain the tension of bickering
I silently stare out the window
becoming as invisible as possible
while music plays inside my head
I want to say I love him anyway, even if
dad is always disappointed and if mom
is tired of the both of them
but the complexity is lost on me
covered in mud and fish guts
blisters and sun burns
bruises and big feelings, too big
for a child carrying the weight of the world
If I could, I’d go back
to that lake, to the desert and maybe
I’d work up the courage to say
“I understand
I love you”
Mar 4
Mar 4, 2026 at 9:02 PM UTC
Truck up on blocks, wheels missing
broken window half asleep, shattered
remnants of usefulness scattered
the ground a requiem for what once was
Suitcase packed yesterday
full of naive dreams and pretty things
placed just so, in perfect rows
aligned with what she’s been taught
imitation a valid strategy
chameleon motivation asks nothing
and exists in perfect harmony
with expectation filtered through
decaying light a sunset predicted
it's the darkness that hurts the most
Pain is life, life is pain
suffering builds stronger ships, unless
the flood came before the storm
standing in frigid water up to her knees
buckled and weak, sweeping the water
until the broom became a memory
Instructions unclear, she closes her eyes
preparing for the worst case scenario
practiced, calm, collected
never betraying her confusion, nodding
in agreement with everyone but herself
is who she is designed to be
but not in that way, in the way
louder than the greyish sludge
covering the totality of reality
light a candle and risk being seen
burned by the flame, steady steady
step this way or that way, follow
the leader through the bullets
time standing perfectly still
**** shot hovering too close, too close
sleep disrupted by sudden exposure
Birds startle and then fall silent
a solitary sound echoes through sunrise
Earth rotating as it does
Feb 27
Feb 27, 2026 at 9:56 PM UTC
I feel the universe screaming
in my ears I fear the dark
closing in soothing and sweet
like rose colored poison
at the tip of a knife
cut myself in order to feel
reality melt into a thousand shards
I forget who I am in the middle
of a conversation I’ll pretend
to understand I’ve been trained
to mimic social causes a nod
in agreement a well timed
presence uplifting the receiver
and I’ll accept the compliment
competence I’ve mastered
like a parrot it’s so cute
how I’ll capture an entire room
but fail at simplicity of keeping up
Who is at the podium today?
Can she impress the teacher
win the final chair and finally
take up space
Empty space unoccupied and unimportant
value based on the law of averages
persist, relax, take charge, surrender
higher power mighty yet powerless
supplications ignored in favor of fate
I set into motion at the split
between I and us unified in fear
and knowing certainty that no one cares
unless I’m dangerous, variable
unpredictable according to people
who have never committed suicide
have never been on the wrong side
of a loaded gun in the nands
of every qualified ****** and yet
expressing fear is taboo, how dare
you believe in your lived experience
That didn’t happen and if it did
it was your own **** fault and
**** you very much for bringing it up
Shouted demands ring through my skull
pulling me into rage and fits
of silence as profound as when
the whale swallowed Joana
fighting the urge to put my fist
through a wall knocking down
the premonition that
I brought this on myself
Jan 22
Jan 22, 2026 at 7:52 PM UTC
“I love you”
push notification from my wife partially
obscuring an obituary for another soul
in a sea of death because of AIDS
I guess AIDS is funny now but
in a way it has always been because
gallows humor helps keep the sadness
and the insanity from ascending into
permanent scars
There’s always something
nipping at the back of our minds
queer was a slur not too long ago
and it still is awkward floating
through conversations about tolerance
and how things are “just better now”
Forgotten memories of bricks thrown
through windows and bibles used
as weapons while brothers and sisters
ask themselves if being out is worth
the invisible risk
They always can tell lurking
behind the screen posting hatred
laughing through the armor of
anonymity while doxxing, revealing
planning a ****** without involvement
because it’s a lot more convenient
if we **** ourselves
Jan 22
Jan 22, 2026 at 6:25 PM UTC
Smoke swirls lazily around the room
highlighting currents of cold air
landing on my skin, cold, but not
cold enough for the season
There’s plenty of reasons to disassociate
in traffic, in the shower, in the middle
of a conversation you would have loved
to hear about twenty minutes after
it happened again again again
with the mental illness the OCD
the symphony of desperate noise
a hand from beyond the grave
violence but it’s fine because
it’s internal far far away
from anyone who might have noticed
but they have problems too
too bright, too loud, too often
wait ten minutes life forgot
the **** and in this economy
who could afford it anyway
Today is different but I can’t
quantify the entanglement estranged
from who I was a year ago
or was it yesterday?
There’s a funeral happening somewhere
the flags are at half mast
half-past the hour when I needed
to be on the bus but just give me
another snooze button or perhaps
a pill for these trying times
Time to put on big kid *******
and lift the sword of Damocles
higher higher high as giraffe *****
reminiscing of a time where we
were more ****** up than this
intoxicated driver with no hands
on the wheel but somehow
we made it to this moment
momentary specks of dust and
scorched earth scars poured into
a random set of circumstances
Do you believe in second chances?
Do I? Is it intelligent design
when I can’t find my socks or
I can’t step through the door
because outside feels like burning
garbage in garbage out, they say
What does that say about us?
Dec 12, 2025
Dec 12, 2025 at 2:28 PM UTC
Sadness grips our heart with
subtle subconscious tendrils made
of velveteen and all those dreams
we had as a child yearning for
the attention we’re getting now
Complimentary commentary ringing from
the rafters, loud, so ******* loud
we can hear them in our sleep
seeping through the sheets into
the brain where it’s rejected as lies
sickening, sweet, loving lies
and we try to say “thank you”
but it’s lost within a mumble
an awkward avoision of eye contact
we feel so loved yet lost in
humanity and the struggle to be
seen while being invisible on purpose
miserable worn as a badge of honor
a veteran of the war against identity
autonomy, that pesky notion that I
might have a right to exist
It’s hard to be suicidal when
curiosity has gotten the better
parts of judgement tied up
in a basement somewhere collecting dust
feeling rusted shut in a cage
made of fear and loathing
clothed in a disguise tried and true
and charming enough to get by
Crying, screaming, sinking
to the floor losing time in between
sobbing and moping up the mess
I guess there is something to
the idea that depression fits
like a pair of shoes you never
want to get rid of
but the soles are worn and now
the **** things are leaking but
they feel oddly and profoundly comfortable
too comfortable to change too
painful to keep walking and yet
the steps keep piling up as
mountains turn to rivers turn to
the dust of all creation
and we wonder what our place is
stumbling around in the darkness
praising despair and mourning
the temporary progression of time
Dec 9, 2025
Dec 9, 2025 at 3:16 PM UTC