In and out of
Naps and daydreams
Imagining beauty
Imagining pain
I break my own heart
Every day
Sep 30, 2020
Sep 30, 2020 at 3:44 PM UTC
I love you like my favorite poets love alcohol.
Drunk and mad in the streets,
I love you.
I’m wasted.
I am one of my favorite poets.
Sep 30, 2020
Sep 30, 2020 at 2:31 AM UTC
I love you
I hate you
I’m sorry
I’m broken
I love you
I hate me
I’m sorry
I’m leaving
Don’t leave
Just stay
**** you
Don’t tell me what to do
I hate you
I love you
I’m broken
I’m sorry
Sep 30, 2020
Sep 30, 2020 at 1:50 AM UTC
Your body is always warm
Your hands are always rough
The words that left your mouth melted into one long, faint whisper
Unmatched to the power of your dull blue eyes
LOOK AT ME WHEN YOU SPEAK
I hate when you don't look at me
I want to feel your thoughts,
Not hear them...
S h o w m e y o u m e a n i t
After that moment, your eyes were permanently glued to mine
Nobody has ever looked at me like that
Constant peering at the remnants of my soul,
and my heart,
and whatever else is inside there that
H u r t s s o b a d
STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT
I don't want you to see me like this...
Sad, angry, sad again
I'm doing you a favor, I swear
Just stop looking at me like that
I want to give you every piece of me that is left
But the fear of you not liking what you get
Rattles my bones so loud when I'm with you
And even louder when you're gone
It hurts, baby
I t j u s t f u c k i n g h u r t s
Is this what love feels like?
Aug 9, 2012
Aug 9, 2012 at 3:05 PM UTC
Hand holding,
Cigarette smoking,
Spiced gin drinking,
And bare flesh touching...
Y o u h a d m e.
(Only for 24 hours,
But that’s more than most get)
24 hour boyfriend,
The perfect relationship.
One complete day of undivided lust and adoration.
It almost felt like I loved you.
Sharing souls and secrets and your king sized bed,
I h a d y o u.
That loving gaze, the sweet whispers;
It made me sick
In an early morning, half-drunk haze,
Your skin wouldn’t let go of mine,
Your smile asked me to stay,
And your sleepy eyes told me you wanted more…
You whispered you loved me,
I clenched my eyelids shut and pretended to sleep.
I could never love you.
I’m sorry,
But your 24 hours is up.
Jun 26, 2012
Jun 26, 2012 at 7:00 PM UTC
I murdered you in my sleep...
E v e r y d a m n n i g h t
My endless resentment
Built up in the back of my neck
Released bit by bit
Through every slam
From finger hitting keyboard
Loud, violent
Like waves crashing onto shore
I murdered you every night
And every letter you spoke
On constant replay in my head
Every single time you came to mind
(ALL THE TIME)
Cutting through me in ways
I didn't know possible
Seeping into my bloodstream like poison
I felt your words the world over
You should have killed me, friend
It wouldn't have hurt as badly
I hated you relentlessly
I murdered you in my sleep
Please don't tell me you're sorry
I can't just forget the things you said
I'M NOT A CHALKBOARD, WHITEBOARD, DRY-ERASE WHAT ******* EVER
THE SLATE ISN'T CLEAN
... i can't do it
Please, please don't tell me you're sorry
You know better than I
That after a little smile
And some kind words,
I'm waving white flags
Left hating no one
Except for myself
B e c a u s e
I
F o r g i v e
T o o
E a s y
Feb 10, 2012
Feb 10, 2012 at 4:21 PM UTC
We're faking.
Happiness lasts but a second.
That fragile fleeting moment before the click of a shutter.
It fades away after your eyes stop stinging.
Sometimes, the sky is so blue that it hurts.
I can't ever reach it with these hands.
I wonder if we were ever really happy.
I try to capture your smile.
But this camera is old, slow.
We're breaking.
Photo frames slips off walls, non-existent.
I hide inside corners of doors, my hands shielding my ears.
Angry voices shake the foundations of this house.
These photographs were only a mere second of our whole lifetime.
But they aren't exactly telling lies.
We were happy once.
Feb 10, 2012
Feb 10, 2012 at 11:51 AM UTC
i tried so hard
to send you winter
in a letter
i went outside
collected snowflakes
and foolishly pressed them
into the pages
the ink ran
and my thoughts
melted away
i wanted to save winter
capture it in a bottle
and hide it
between my lungs
so my every breath
would be cold
and my voice
would taste like snow
i thought
maybe
if i could take
that bluish-grey sky
and shove it between
my ribs
and swallow
every
dead
leaf
you would see frost coated grass
and think of me
... and
i could give you
winter
f o r e v e r
Jan 6, 2012
Jan 6, 2012 at 11:22 AM UTC
long days and restless nights
thin lips part to reveal a voice of sand
silently screaming at those around him
he wore his pain on his brow
***** and wrinkled like the shirt on his back
Dec 19, 2011
Dec 19, 2011 at 6:45 AM UTC
With a runny nose
Shaking hands
And unsure thoughts
I got on my knees
And begged
Not with words
Or
With tears
But with my lips
And my tongue
His **** filling my mouth
His hand forcing my head
Eyes closed
I could feel his body tremble
Smell his sweat
A few heavy thrusts
Followed by even heavier gags
He grabbed my hand
Helped me up
And slipped a reward into my coat pocket
'... this is the last time'
I whispered
'You always say that'
The walk home seemed to last years
Prolonged by feelings of disgust
I could feel the people
Of the city streets
Silently judging me
I locked myself in the bathroom
Cut the fattest line
My body could handle
And snorted away my
Shame
Dec 13, 2011
Dec 13, 2011 at 2:49 PM UTC