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Nicolette
Nicolette
American my mama’s baby (the one with the shaved head who dropped out of school and moved to Atlanta to study patience in the far left lane of I-85 in pursuit of a career that teaches me how to be kind to folks who remind me that i am my mama's baby).
I forgot to stop by the post again But the kitchen is already burning. The walls are aging in bursts of thick black wrinkles That roll Like the unsteady jiggle of jumping baby legs. They are begging for steady wrists. And kiss. The pinch And **** routine Of freshly minted aunties. You see, I couldn't find an envelope anywhere. So this foil gone have to do. This aluminum ain't no ruse. Ain't no poetic device Manifested in the silver breasted Flesh. I swear I had this whole thing planned out differently.   Me, a gray storm of locs Running beneath morning's chin, Wishing you safe travels From the boat of her collar bone. You, a memory tucked Inside my favorite tooth. The two of us, A tuft of life only separated By a mountain Called Heaven. I had planned on helping you climb   This one day. But the kitchen is already burning. Tomorrow, that journalist you look up to Will write About how another one of our daughters Painted herself visible. And she gone wonder why. In this foil, rests my skin. You give this to her. Here, X marks the spot. Tell her that if this skin Is such a gem worth fighting for, She can keep it.
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Nov 1, 2014
Nov 1, 2014 at 3:13 PM UTC
Treasure Map Drawn in a Burning House
Grandma read her doctor's orders aloud over a fresh cigarette. Hummed a nameless hymn of white clouds as she recited the litany of prescribed don't do's: heavy lighting, bending over, long periods of standing. This is how you convince your grandchildren to clean your house on the first day of Christmas vacation. Grandma's hands are too full to hold brooms and dusters anyway. They are too busy balancing prayers born between the flickering knees Of her dust orange lighter. And her patron saint has four legs. All of which can be found tattooed across the chest of a Marlboro carton. Grandma is a religious woman. So she prays religiously. Says the body is a temple and hers is an old testament book of nicotine sacrifices. A fiery copper skin of crop circle veins. Each wrinkle a story. Each story ending in flames. For 5 decades she has been burning. And I am too old to pretend the ash is invisible. Too young to watch it cuddle the curves of her lips and call it anything but sacrilege. And this is why I need to vacuum the rugs.
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Mar 22, 2014
Mar 22, 2014 at 11:14 AM UTC
Doctor's Orders
"Poem after poem comes - which perhaps is how poets pray." Alice Walker. 1. Spend your seventh days roasting in the roots of my teeth. Make space in the canopies of flesh fluttering above my heart, take off your cool, rest your dreams on the shelf of my ribs, and be at home. All I want is to be full of you because there are moments when I am afraid that I'll run out of mornings or ink. Or both. 2. There are people who are afraid of running out of poems or poets to retreat inside so they Solomon sing us praises as if we pen their salvation in these poems. But I am no Moses. This staff is made of ink and plastic. These wings are made of wax and plaster. So I melt. Sometimes into the lap of a Ford's front seat when the moon gets stale and the communion kicks in; sometimes onto a computer screen with one tab drenched in my fears while another plays Lalah Hathaway's 'Outrun the Sky'; Sometimes the Talenti melts before I can pretend that writing fixes everything. And that ***** 3. It is a privilege to be a poet. To carve myself into a sanctuary for folks who need an altar at midnight. To shed my skin between the blue pews of a page or a stage. 4. I owe a lot to writers for lending me their voices before I knew my own and for being a part of the village that raised this baby with a backbone made of ballpoint. I am a writer with too few tongues but with what I have I am grateful.
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Mar 21, 2014
Mar 21, 2014 at 8:10 PM UTC
Maybe Prayers
1. Honor the sea for the sailor in your blood. For the lack of anchor in my ankles. I've been drifting sailor since divorce papers taught me how to choke the eternity out of a vow. I am great at leaving what I love. 2. Mental illness runs in my mother's family so leaving was more like a race for sanity. A relay to forget. I am afraid that Liz has schizophrenia because she stopped writing.  I am afraid that I too may get caught between a rock and a hard place called depression. When a poet stops being a poet, all that silence must leave room for the walls to start speaking in tongues. Love yourself out loud because when homeless holy ghosts can't live in your poems, they post themselves in your dreams. 3. On the days when your body feels more alley than altar, and you can't manage to believe in any God who could think you are worth dying for, go back to bed. Scatter your sacred congregation of bones beneath blankets. Don't come out til you feel whole again. 4. Love yourself to pieces. Your muscles only grow from being torn and rebuilt. Destruction is a form of creation. It is okay to be shattered skin And flooded eyelids. It is okay to dance in the middle of your ruins. Movement is a sign of life. Show the world you're still alive. 5. Love this magic called life, because you are the child of magicians.  We, people of Black suits and bow ties of braided chains. We, wands for wrists, perfect for reaching for potions and people and dreams. We, top hats for teeth, perfect for abracadabra speaking things into existence.  We, artists.  We, storytellers.  We, preachers and poets. We who spit spells disguised as spoken word. Poems that work like prayers birthed between pews. We, walking sanctuaries who birth life. Love,  you are nothing short of magic. 6. When my father moved out, my mother stopped moving. Became a southern shipwreck of scriptures and beached her hands across the crests of my cheeks. Looked at me to be lighthouse during storm. I read that as adults, we try growing into the traits that would've rescued our parents but I'm hoping you never feel the need to save me. 7. These days, my mother's hips don't miss a chance to kiss a beat like Stevie Wonder was just invented. And isn't it lovely? How she finally learned to wear her lonely in the sway of her shoulders to keep the shame of an empty ring finger from spilling over her children. Love, you come from a long line of magicians who've nearly died trying to pull off a miracle like you, but I don't need your rescue. You are not anyone's SOS. You are the result of prayers wrapped in the silk of southern accents. My plagiarized draft of a poem called God. You are the only graven image our creator has ever commissioned. Treat yourself as such.
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Oct 12, 2013
Oct 12, 2013 at 6:50 PM UTC
7 Commandments My Child Should Know (2nd Draft)
1. Honor the sea for the sailor in your blood. For the lack of anchor in my ankles. I've been drifting sailor since divorce papers taught me how to choke the eternity out of a vow. I am great at leaving what I love. 2. Mental illness runs in my mother's family so leaving was more like a race for sanity. A relay to forget. I am afraid that Liz has schizophrenia because she stopped writing.  I am afraid that I too may get caught between a rock and a hard place called depression. When a poet stops being a poet, all that silence must leave room for the walls to start speaking in tongues. Love yourself out loud because when homeless holy ghosts can't live in your poems, they post themselves in your dreams. 3. On the days when your body feels more alley than altar, and you can't manage to believe in any God who could think you are worth dying for, go back to bed. Scatter your sacred congregation of bones beneath blankets. Don't come out til you feel whole again. 4. Love yourself to pieces. Your muscles only grow from being torn and rebuilt. Destruction is a form of creation. It is okay to be shattered skin And flooded eyelids. It is okay to dance in the middle of your ruins. Movement is a sign of life. Show the world you're still alive. 5. Love this magic called life, because you are the child of magicians.  We, people of Black suits and bow ties of braided chains. We, wands for wrists, perfect for reaching for potions and people and dreams. We, top hats for teeth, perfect for abracadabra speaking things into existence.  We, artists.  We, storytellers.  We, preachers and poets. We who spit spells disguised as spoken word. Poems that work like prayers birthed between pews. We, walking sanctuaries who birth life. Love,  you are nothing short of magic. 6. When my father moved out, my mother stopped moving. Became a southern shipwreck of scriptures and beached her hands across the crests of my cheeks. Looked at me to be lighthouse during storm. I read that as adults, we try growing into the traits that would've rescued our parents but I'm hoping you never feel the need to save me. 7. These days, my mother's hips don't miss a chance to kiss a beat like Stevie Wonder was just invented. And isn't it lovely? How she finally learned to wear her lonely in the sway of her shoulders to keep the shame of an empty ring finger from spilling over her children. Love, you come from a long line of magicians who've nearly died trying to pull off a miracle like you, but I don't need your rescue. You are not anyone's SOS. You are the result of prayers wrapped in the silk of southern accents. My plagiarized draft of a poem called God. You are the only graven image our creator has ever commissioned. Treat yourself as such.
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123
1. I read somewhere, that as adults, we try growing into the traits that would've rescued our parents. And when my father moved out I started moving. The day my his signature danced across a set of divorce papers, my body became boat. These ankles retracted anchor. I have been sailor ever since. 2. Mental illness runs in my mother's family so leaving was more like a race for sanity. There are days when I wonder if schizophrenia is what happened when Liz stopped writing. When a poet stops being a poet I guess all of that empty silence leaves room for the walls to start speaking. There are days when I wander just to see if my feet are as fast as they used to be. I used to leave what I love. 3. I love a lot so I jog often. Not for hobby, but for healing. 4. Survival is a scary thing, especially when it means running from what's already been sewn into your family genes. 5. If your body ever feels foreign, remember home is where the heart is so it is no worthless carcass. Call it Cathedral. You. Holy congregation of bones filled to the brim with sin but blessed from birth. Your skin is nothing short of sacred. Sanctuary. Your muscles only grow from being torn and rebuilt so it makes sense for your walls to crumble sometimes. Destruction is a form of creation. And of course, you will want to dance amongst that rubble. Movement is a sign of life. Let them see you're still alive. 6. This life is magic and you come from a long line of magicians. We people of Black suits and bow ties threaded from braided chains. We, wands for wrists, perfect for reaching for potions and people and dreams. We, top hats for teeth, perfect for abracadabra speaking things into existence. We, artists. We, storytellers. We, preachers and poets. We who spit spells disguised as poems. Poems that work like prayers born between pews. We, walking sanctuaries with pews for knees. We who birth life. Love, you are nothing short of magic. 7. The day the spine of my father's signature tangoed along the rubble of a broken marriage, my mother's hips kissed a beat like Stevie Wonder was just invented. And my God, is it lovely. How she wears her lonely in the sway of her shoulders. See you come from a long line of magicians who don't need to be rescued. You are not our final flare. You are not our savior. Love, you are my plagiarized draft of a poem called God.
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Sep 10, 2013
Sep 10, 2013 at 8:15 PM UTC
7 Commandments My Child Should Know (After Tonya Ingram)
1. I read somewhere, that as adults, we try growing into the traits that would've rescued our parents. And when my father moved out I started moving. The day my his signature danced across a set of divorce papers, my body became boat. These ankles retracted anchor. I have been sailor ever since. 2. Mental illness runs in my mother's family so leaving was more like a race for sanity. There are days when I wonder if schizophrenia is what happened when Liz stopped writing. When a poet stops being a poet I guess all of that empty silence leaves room for the walls to start speaking. There are days when I wander just to see if my feet are as fast as they used to be. I used to leave what I love. 3. I love a lot so I jog often. Not for hobby, but for healing. 4. Survival is a scary thing, especially when it means running from what's already been sewn into your family genes. 5. If your body ever feels foreign, remember home is where the heart is so it is no worthless carcass. Call it Cathedral. You. Holy congregation of bones filled to the brim with sin but blessed from birth. Your skin is nothing short of sacred. Sanctuary. Your muscles only grow from being torn and rebuilt so it makes sense for your walls to crumble sometimes. Destruction is a form of creation. And of course, you will want to dance amongst that rubble. Movement is a sign of life. Let them see you're still alive. 6. This life is magic and you come from a long line of magicians. We people of Black suits and bow ties threaded from braided chains. We, wands for wrists, perfect for reaching for potions and people and dreams. We, top hats for teeth, perfect for abracadabra speaking things into existence. We, artists. We, storytellers. We, preachers and poets. We who spit spells disguised as poems. Poems that work like prayers born between pews. We, walking sanctuaries with pews for knees. We who birth life. Love, you are nothing short of magic. 7. The day the spine of my father's signature tangoed along the rubble of a broken marriage, my mother's hips kissed a beat like Stevie Wonder was just invented. And my God, is it lovely. How she wears her lonely in the sway of her shoulders. See you come from a long line of magicians who don't need to be rescued. You are not our final flare. You are not our savior. Love, you are my plagiarized draft of a poem called God.
Continue reading...
108
There’s an after taste that has been plaguing my tongues for months now and my conscience tells me it’s something called home. Something like the sting of rotten apples grown along the stride of Lady Liberty. You see, big cities tend to stain my my mouth and I’ve yet to figure out how to brush off such brackish flavors brought on by bundled bodies in train cars. I am craving warm subways and cold concrete. Craving that sweet insincerity like candied cold shoulders. I want to be served every bit of a baked BK attitude in the furl of a brow. Want to taste hard broiled Harlem in the switch of hips. Mild Manhattan oozing the stitch of an Hermes steeple tote. I am always quick to order a flight to my second home.
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Apr 14, 2013
Apr 14, 2013 at 5:27 PM UTC
STEW
When a woman opens her door and refrigerator to strangers strictly because of a familiar last name the last thing you do is question the rust resting on her eyelids. The first time I met Flatbush she was a thick brick-boned woman with stone-seasoned hair sculpted above her head and a *** of greens anchored at her waist. She was a winter day warmed by a sea of arms pouring from the jaws of a crooked screen door. She wanted nothing more than to 5 o'clock traffic drown me in comfort and comfort food so I let her.
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Feb 2, 2013
Feb 2, 2013 at 1:22 PM UTC
Flatbush
Beneath the chin of your BK brownstone we’d sit bodies slung across steps eyes flung across skies city simmering in northern fog concrete cradling a northern frost the backdrop of 86th jetting above our heads you asked me if I still thought New York was all it was cracked up to be. Yes.
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Feb 2, 2013
Feb 2, 2013 at 1:19 PM UTC
Every Other Weekend
Of course when your southern tipped - tongue drips out the words "I want to move up north" everyone whose roots reach deep below the belt of the Mason Dixon will ****** your face in their gaze and warn you bout that Northern Disregard. But don't listen to their tales of discarded homeless people plastered cross pavement. Tell them bout those who find home amongst the clutter of 125th with warm eyes that search the cold looking for laugh lines and loose change. Tell them how they maintain an open hand good for grasping and an open mouth good for un-gourging their gapped - toothed grins of wisdom. You tell them that these people with the wrinkles of a wise man may not have much but they share what they got. You tell them that no matter where we're from we've all got a little Southern Hospitality stained in our smiles. Tell them that you'll be fine and pray you're right.
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Jan 3, 2013
Jan 3, 2013 at 3:04 PM UTC
95 North
I promise this poem won't be as tragic as the others. I won't sneak the spine out of your smile. I won't midnight sky pour shadows over your sun rays. let me wake that sun of yours. I promise not to place no sad stories in that space beneath your chest that I hijack so often. I promise not to coffin dig up my past dreams post marked maybe. But baby, this box cutter pen cradles hearts so well. Carves the dark so well. But I promise not take it out on account that you say sharp things make you nervous and I need you to know that i'm working on not hurting. And you say slim why don't you take a day off from this poetry thing? So here I am standing staff stance at the banks of a page's shore not trying to part tears only pouts. Only speaking to sprout smiles since I know how uncomfortable you get when I spit them sad poems. or them mad poems. So today I'll put away my soap opera tales and tattoo some red over my blues for you. and for a once i'll forget my worries and you remind me how well my smile reflects in your eyes.
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Nov 8, 2012
Nov 8, 2012 at 6:01 PM UTC
A Poet's Day Off