I have to write a paper
But I want to write a poem about you
Of course, I’ve procrastinated
On both of my tasks
It is the night before this
Deadline
Yet I still can’t come to see you
As a distraction
So I will type out
The rungs of this term paper
Queue up letter by letter
Of my passing grade
Drag my feet from thesis
To conclusion
Paying my price of admission
With time
Until I’m so close
I get hit by your flashing lights
Blue and round
Putting any barker to shame
I see them through downpour of
Pressure
And winds of
Insomnia
Knowing I’ll get there,
Get to
The Ultimate
Attraction
Nov 20, 2017
Nov 20, 2017 at 9:49 PM UTC
You left
a white lighter
on your coffee table
so that when
we'd go back
to collect your things
from a crime scene
we had been to
countless times,
we'd know that
you died
thinking yourself
a King of Rock and Roll.
But really
you were
the prince
heir to
all the love
dad had to give,
bestowed upon
year after year
with the kind of too much faith
that only
parents
can give.
You heard
their lessons
about the world
being your oyster
but never payed
attention
to how to care
for
your
people.
You were
always
about the show,
You'd give all
the glitz
and glamour
off of your very own crown
thinking that
if love didn't sparkle
people wouldn't know it was
there.
But then
someone gave you
purple-hazed glasses
and suddenly
the world was
love in your pupils,
they flooded
your irises
with a shine
to which no amount of
family jewels
could compare.
Your eyes
had seen
radiance
and all you had
to go back to
was flaw
you saw
a life
that was hard
and surprisingly heavy
for being so
empty,
And you just
kept chasing
the smooth blues
that would never hurt your ears
or play you
the old song
of wasted potential.
Even as you wandered
popping and
repopping your ears,
our love was
dull to your
rock and roll lifestyle.
I know how much
you missed how it
was before
you got discovered by it,
eager and seething
to sink its hooks
into another good one.
Instead of
writing your own
song,
you faded
into the old
one.
And now,
I've lost word and
lyric,
melody is
ash
in my pen
because the music
wasn't in me,
dude,
it was in you.
And now the record
keeps playing
through the air,
but none
of us
want to hear it.
When you went,
you left us with
a ****** white lighter
and you took the music with you.
Sep 16, 2017
Sep 16, 2017 at 12:36 AM UTC
We sit down
At the Bar
You remark on
My posture
We order
Your favorite
Jack and
Coke
We sling
Them back
Double Shots
Burning my belly
Your eyes fill
With disbelief
I can see
The photographs flash
In front of
You
School Pictures
Prom Photos
Graduation
Shots
All Stacked up
Underneath this very
Bar-
Stool
My eyes roll
Away from sentimentality
Laughing it
Off
I order
Two more
I can hear you
Tell me to
Slow
Down
As if
Recorded into
A Broken
Record
Even now
I’m still
Your Baby
Sister
As My
Vision Doubles
Your Smile
Remains
As One
Though
your voice
Seems to grow
Faint
My throat begins
To burn
Feeling myself
Crying out
Over a space
Much more vast
Than the distance
Between
Our two
Barstools
Before I misplace
Myself Completely
You
Catch me
Your other Half
Your little twin
I will
Not be
Doubled
Over
We are
Celebrating
This
Birthday
As I blink
To see you
Through
My blear
I see you
Preparing
To
go
Mirroring my moves
To put me at ease
But your
Cheeks
Have lost
Dimension
Your color
No longer
Changes in
The light
You pull your
Hands away
Not wanting to
Make me
Cold
Insisting I’m
Warm
My clammy
Palms
Push
Forward
Just in
Time
To
Catch
That
Paper
Wafting
Down
I ****** it
Up
Staring at
Your smile
That always
Did
Photograph
Well
Flipping it
Over
I tried to
Remember
When you had
Signed
This photo
You could never
Have known
About
I refuse
The answer
Wary of the lies
You will believe
When you
Split drinks
With A Memory.
May 2, 2017
May 2, 2017 at 12:10 PM UTC
I was not
The planet
Closest to you
No
Not even a planet
I was
A Moon,
Only
Close enough
To have been touched
By your light
You see,
As a moon
You live your life
Half in
Darkness
So you know
A super nova
When you’ve met one
The problem is
The stars that
Shine the brightest
Are the very same ones
That burn out
too soon
And now
Our atmosphere
Feels the emptiness
And we hope
That space
could create
A time warp ,
Another dimension
Where we could
Stay with you
Feel your brightness
Forever.
Please,
Starlight,
Know you were in so
Many celestial Orbits,
And we feel
Colder,
At our cores,
Without you,
Our vision
Has darkened.
You,
A constellation,
All on your own,
We have only
Your stardust memories
To hold
When our tears
Shoot like
Comets
Down our
Faces,
Thank you
For the wishes,
Starlight.
I hope to
Catch your
Light
In another sky
One day.
Apr 13, 2017
Apr 13, 2017 at 1:16 PM UTC
Truth is the word
That we’ve always
embroidered
Onto my pillow
But instead
It’s that I’ve never had
Enough knowhow
To sew my
Secrets anywhere
Except the
Soft, pin-cushiony
Pink of my lips
It is always you
With truth shears in
The hand you’re always
Extending
That sets them
Free
To fly and
Find light
Your work on
Our tapestry
With little fingers
And quiet tenderness
That many
Will never
Feel
Your vision
Of our bigger picture
Unravels before me
Making more sense
With Every stitch
When I leave my
Heart
In places so
Cold
You help me
Pull strings
To drag me back
To myself
You remind me
That my fabric is
Fragile and
Precious,
But never to fear
Cutting away
What no longer
Fits
Being Raggedy Ann
Always comes with
Its share
Of loose threads
And I’m forever
Thankful
That you
Tie them,
Hands un-judging
In knots
As intricate
And beautiful
As your soul.
Apr 3, 2017
Apr 3, 2017 at 12:47 PM UTC
I was red wine,
You were blueberry.
I was robust and full-bodied
Maybe the only one
As unpredictably
rich as you
And much worse
At concealing it
We joined in
Meals where we only
Discussed
What we were hungry for.
But in our starvation
We confused eachother
For food
And we tore
Ourselves
Apart
Imagine Breakfast
Lunch, and Dinner
Smiling across
at you
From the other side of
Your pillow
Because we
Weren’t after sustenance
It was never your taste
That satisfied
but still I had been licking
The salt off of your skin
Somehow, I was the one
That felt raw in the morning
But we were new to
The institution
Munchies were to be
Expected
But our empty calories
Created blockages around my heart
Only the basic needs
Slipped through
Reminding me of
The hunger I was stifling
We boiled over
And looked elsewhere for feed
You had broken
Your diet lifestyle
Not seeing how
Emaciated it had made you
You indulged yourself
On the richness of being filled
And you threw it up
Silently in the bathroom
Flushing away
The burning
So no one
Would ever know
But I saw the color
Return to your cheeks
As we set our table
For the meal we would
Never eat.
Mar 21, 2017
Mar 21, 2017 at 6:37 PM UTC
We met at the bar
No, I was way too young
We met at school
No, you were way too old
We met at 7/11
No, you wouldn’t have stayed and talked to me
We met taking a cigarette break outside the 7/11
No, you would smoke in your car
We met at a bar I was too young to be in
No, I didn’t go out like that when I was young
We met at the library
No, you don’t read
We met at the grocery store
No, you live a town away from me
We met at the Christmas concert
No, you hate organized functions
We met at Barnes and Noble
No, you still don’t read
We met at an underground music show
No, I wasn’t that cool
We met at the park
Maybe, but why were you at a park?
We met at a family party
No, it was a secret from them all alone
We met at an alumni thing
No, I wasn’t an alumni yet
Rewriting our history
To make art
Seems a little too much
Like lying
And fiction never
Really was
My thing.
Feb 6, 2017
Feb 6, 2017 at 3:08 PM UTC
I used to scratch my arms so much
that I would bleed,
Incidentally, when I'm feeling small
my arms get really itchy.
But I just crossed an ocean
on a jet-plane that fit
hundreds of me's.
And I didn't feel small.
I saw monuments that you
can see from space,
I walked over cobblestones
of the eternal city,
seeing the span of time
outstretch through my every day,
I ate food that
traveled millennia to arrive in my stomach,
And I didn't feel small.
Contrarily,
I felt the tiber plowing through
my wine-colored waterways,
My shoulders adapted their posture
to the lean of the Singelgracht,
I stared Vesuvius in the eye,
standing upon its ashen stillborn city.
Yet the itch never
came. Flying back
To my little pond, I wondered
If there would be enough room to
Fit the new me.
And step by step,
I tip-toed back to the bed
I thought had been left
Untouched in my absence.
But when I laid my head down,
I turned into Alice,
Drowning in my sheets,
They had gone back to my pillows,
And invited a stranger in,
Stretching out my space to where
Only they could fill it just right.
And now I’m small enough to see
Bed bugs, nibbling their way up
And down my shrunken arms.
I ponder over the possibilities
Of charms being mixed in with
Grapes, aged with cheese,
Deliciously tricking me into
Believing all of this was good
For a growing girl.
As I call up to the giants
Who used to be my height,
I recognize they can only hear me
Via echoes, a subdued volume
Of my former cries.
Only being as small as a pest,
Can I see how the molecules of
Matter really do shift,
A best friend can
Neither be created
nor destroyed,
Only moved about, shifted
From one sleep-mate
To another.
I sit with the bed bugs
I do not itch anymore,
I am the itch.
Jan 29, 2017
Jan 29, 2017 at 2:10 PM UTC
She took my voice and split it in half
Found the the closest body and laid my
Template over someone else's chords,
So now,
When I roar laughter at good timing
She is fed only half of her fill
She looks away quickly
She turns away hungry
Jan 25, 2017
Jan 25, 2017 at 10:38 PM UTC
The bare pads
of her toes
thumped
across
the photo-faded
tiles
Fingertips
outstretched
at full attention
Precious enough
to catch
the kiss
only
mama's lips
could gift
She walked
away
slowly
taking
great
care
exhibiting
to all who
didn't know
the only thing
she knew to
treasure
Jan 4, 2017
Jan 4, 2017 at 12:58 AM UTC