Do you still hold faith that you'll find love in your days?
Just a little taste and life wont be a waste.
To love another face, to visit that special place.
I could never complain or regret our time in space.. wait.
What is this place?
Symbolized fate wrapping my neck like a noose,
my grip on reality is slowly slipping loose... So...
I contemplate my everyday
knowing no one knows my true name.
Apr 4, 2022
Apr 4, 2022 at 10:08 AM UTC
I feel so alone like I'm trapped in my home.
and these thoughts in my head tell me I ought a be dead.
I ******* **** at this ****
"No you don't you're just tired."
"Everyone loves you, cant you see you're admired?"
But I don't believe what I conceive in my dreams.
So you must be a liar.
This isn't how things in this life should have been.
My soul is on fire.
This isn't how things in this life could have been.
My soul is on fire.
But I don't believe what I perceive in front of me.
Sands of time made from liquid-solid-matter.
People flowing like atoms recycling motions.
I know in my mind that things don't really matter.
Climbing the planet and mapping the oceans.
I would loose my mind if my brain got any fatter.
People flowing like atoms recycling motions.
Apr 4, 2022
Apr 4, 2022 at 8:59 AM UTC
I wake up wet and cold at 4AM
So I look in my ashtray for the biggest joint end.
I smoke what's left and lay back for two secs...
Next I check the grinder for any remaining specks.
I bang out all that I can and roll a splith with trembling hands.
As smoke enters my lungs, a tear fills my eye.
Exhaling all hope I begin cry.
I do this to myself with no happiness in life.
I can't control myself this has become my life.
I often ask myself what I want from life.
And find myself wishing that I wasn't alive.
Apr 4, 2022
Apr 4, 2022 at 8:31 AM UTC
Think of the light when dark comes to bite.
In fact it's in spite that I'd take my own life.
Not to sound naïve but I feel that I'm supreme.
And If only I could be the man I am in my dreams.
I'd finally be free of these thoughts that're killing me.
I am my fathers seed but my fruit is that of a another tree.
I am a different breed, a totally separate species.
Living to see the death of humanity.
Eclipse of the mind.
The patterns in time.
The moon and the tide.
My alien third eye.
All these useless words make me feels special.
If I repeat them enough, I'll not become the devil.
He speaks to me so clearly.
He said he loves me dearly.
I'm nearly there.
Apr 4, 2022
Apr 4, 2022 at 8:16 AM UTC
It's so sad to me.
Glorious and victorious.
This sad fantasy.
I can't relate to these souls.
Maybe I should go live with the wolves.
It's nature you see
The reason I breath.
The sun through the clouds.
The wind through the leaves.
It's nature you see.
We all start from a seed.
That's the way that it is.
The way it must be.
Green is the forest.
Blue is the sea.
Red is the hatred for that which is me.
Grey is our two world wars and
Black is number three.
Apr 4, 2022
Apr 4, 2022 at 7:56 AM UTC
Apologizing emphatically for the conditions I put you in,
Fearing the possibility of us no longer caring.
You deserve more than I gave and back what I took,
I was busy thinking of myself to step back and look.
Do you see me in your dreams because you're the center of all mine.
Is it too late to say sorry and get these thoughts off my mind?
Apr 3, 2022
Apr 3, 2022 at 5:27 PM UTC
Going to work just isn't working,
Coming home all alone,
and still feel like nothing.
You get to sit on your throne made from the flushings,
again all alone in the smoke and the ashes.
You thought you could do this alone but you're struggling to stop it.
Are you pained by the pain you caused, is it constantly throbbing?
Thoughts that just can't be ignored cause your head to spin violent.
Apr 3, 2022
Apr 3, 2022 at 4:46 PM UTC
Still awake, the day mourns when suddenly it dawns.
This life is not norm, no it is far from.. and why was you born when life is a chore, you're bored and so sore. You can't do this no more?
Can't keep that head up, nor that jaw? Is it fair? I'm not sure.
Suddenly lost it all but what do you loose when you're already poor? When you have nothing to show for your time on this ball.
Regrets creeping in and makes itself known, with a deep fear of sleeping you wake with a frown. the mind plays it's tricks and time disappears, you're an adult now, don't even know how.
Again it's the morning, your life is repeating,
you're constantly snoring and need a good beating.
Why can't you stop yawning, constantly day-dreaming,
Don't stare at him now, he's going to start bleeding.
Apr 3, 2022
Apr 3, 2022 at 4:11 PM UTC
Walking eternal in the shadows of grace
Digging through photos to remember her face
You run for your life yet you stay in one place
We try to escape our purposeless fate
We left it too late, our demons have strayed
They jump out of our heart and into our head
They’re planning on staying they’re making theirs beds
They pull at my strings and push on my threads
Pressing these buttons till I’m seeing red
I called my therapist they called the Feds
I try to smile but a frown comes instead
I hide my eyes from the tear I have bled
I dreamed I lived but it was all in my head
You say it’s just worry and I say it is dread
You say it’s just quitting and I say it’s dead
Please don’t come closer this’ll end in regret
Like a rat when it’s cornered I’m gonna lash out
Like a fat man at Christmas I’m gonna pig out
I pray you’re not bothered when my secret comes out
I hope my true self won’t leave you in doubt
Jan 29, 2021
Jan 29, 2021 at 10:25 PM UTC
This pain in my heart this pain in my chest. It doesn’t compare to pain of regret. I knew what was right and acted so wrong. I had you in my life and you said so long.
Will time make this better, how long will it take?
Do you think about me too? All I see is your face.
I know I’m not the man to take you by the hand and give you your deserved fate.
But I will give you all I am in hopes to meet your match as you have done the same.
Alone together we are all that matters. Now we’re apart I strain to remember those better times when I called you a lover.
Jan 29, 2021
Jan 29, 2021 at 10:24 PM UTC