Am I annoying? How bothering can I be? Sometimes I"m just so anxious that I'm just weird all the time, and to be honest, I"m scared most of the time. I can think of a few reasons why but primarily, it's people getting mad at me. I mean, it's fine. I'd be easily irritated at myself, too, if I met me. Another thing is that, because of the way I am, the way I act as a person, people see me as a "pick me" girl. Sure, I like attention and affection, but I"m just anxious a lot. I'm scared I'll be judged then end up doing something really embarrassing. I can never hide from it. It's always there no matter what I do. I've tried many ways to prevent it. No matter what, though, I'm always gonna be seen as that odd girl who lacks a lot of knowledge and acts childish as **** My mind thinks people only hang out with me because they only feel bad for me. Honestly, though, I'm not surprised. I wonder who I would call friends if I was perfectly okay and my life wasn't a total **** show. Honest to god, though, I"m scared to die, but at the same time, I can't wait till my time has come. Once everything is all over, I can finally be released from my pain. Sure, you'd think I'm exaggerating, but I don't care. I already promised that I wouldn't commit suicide, so don't worry, you're not reading a suicide letter. Unless you never know. A person can always change their minds... sometimes.
Apr 27, 2021
Apr 27, 2021 at 6:19 PM UTC
twist was a dark day
a dark and gloomy
I wandered the streets
looking for peace
all I see around me
are people together
bright sun shining on their faces
but me could never
I kept walking
till I hit this hill
I sat there wondering
what will become of me still
but that's when it happens
a bright light shines over the hill
and my dark days
were now behind me
for this girl appeared
smiled brighter than the stars
I finally found my sunshine
correction: ours
Jan 5, 2021
Jan 5, 2021 at 10:05 AM UTC
Sad to say I got myself attached again
It's like I want to feel so bad even though it ends in pain
I knew what I was walking into and yet it caught me off guard
If I were old enough it'd be the liquor I'll pour
You walk away, do your crusade, then you worry in the end
But you don't care, you just do it to seem like you're in the right
Knowing **** well, you could've lost a friend
but even if I were gone you wouldn't notice me out of sight
I thought it'd be a fairytale with magic
but if I were more attractive this wouldn't have been tragic
Now I have to fake it till I make it
who knows how long I'll be able to take it
Nov 1, 2020
Nov 1, 2020 at 4:21 PM UTC
When you hold my hand, is it just me?
When you hug me tight, is it just me?
When you tell me you love me, is it just me?
When you say "I'll always be there", is it just me?
Is it too much to ask to be the only one? I know you care in general for everybody but is it bad that I just want it to be just me?
I don't know why, like I fell for you because of your caring nature. But now it's like I'm asking you to stop that but then you being a **** to everyone else would make me dislike you more because you're changing when really I'm asking you to.
Is it just me? Am I the only one that feels this way? Feeling this complicated?..
I need help on my mindset because I don't know what the right way of thinking is now.
Apr 12, 2019
Apr 12, 2019 at 7:17 PM UTC
For three years I thought, "What's a silver spoon Mom?"
Now I know it's something people like me never have
For three years I thought, "Mom, why don't we have beds?"
Now I know it's the place everyone spends 90% of their life at
For three years I thought, "Why does everyone own a big box?"
Now I know it's a place we call home
Two years later I thought, "Mom, why are you crying?"
She pointed at the silver object in my hand I used to eat
"We're getting there sweetie", she said brightening up with a smile.
Apr 9, 2019
Apr 9, 2019 at 5:55 PM UTC
Listen you don't need a Therapist
Sure they help you but do they really help?
They're never there when you are looking at the mirror and calling yourself disgusting, and that you're hideous.
They're never there when you are on the verge of tears when something impacts you dramatically.
They are never there when you want to cut yourself so bad.
They ask how you are doing, they ask what you want and need.
But do they really care? You just get money out of me do you want to help or do you want the money to survive.
After this you always go back to your happy home planning the next family vacation
But I always go back to the loneliness, the dark room that doesn't shut out the screaming behind the walls.
I go back to feeling like I'm nothing and that I'm unwanted
Mar 20, 2019
Mar 20, 2019 at 10:03 PM UTC
So when we first met, I didn't know I was gonna fall for you really hard... but I did and now look at us.
You make me really happy and I just had no idea there was such thing as the feeling I have when I'm around you.
The whole time I never thought me and you were ever going to happen... now we're cuddling, kissing, and just staring in each other's eyes while smiling.
I love it when you play with my hair, I love it when you hold my hand
Now, whenever I see you I turn red and you make fun of it calling it cute, and I do the same with you, especially the first kiss on the cheek
This was so unexpected. Who knew something so great would ever happen to me.. I love you, Mateo
Feb 15, 2019
Feb 15, 2019 at 1:24 PM UTC
Well I don't really know what to think at this moment. You say you guys have problems and then all of a sudden you guys are deep in love.... You told me you had a wet dream about me so randomly just so you can get it off your chest and that you don't know what it meant but that it was just random.... then you ask me to go to formal with you when your girlfriend denied you and got into an argument with you. Am I just always gonna be the second choice? Am I just gonna be the one you go to when you feel upset because of her?
If she makes you feel that bad why not be over but soon after you guys are just ..fine. Don't you think that's a little toxic. My friends say you like me but I don't want you too which is strange since you are my crush.. I don't know how to feel anymore. You make it seem like I shouldn't like you because of the way you are with me but with her...it should be concerning if you do that to me if we do become a couple and you get depressed. Then we are going to dance together as if we should ignore the way we are together so you can be with her and me and you can be friends...But I want to know how you feel about the whole situation..Do you like me? Do you love her? You're with her yet you do this and say that with me! I just don't get you anymore..
Jan 23, 2019
Jan 23, 2019 at 5:01 PM UTC
The moment I realize "Stop he has a girlfriend"
The moment I realize "Why does he talk to me this way when he has a girlfriend, why does he have to be this nice"
It's funny how you know how I feel about you but yet you still remain to be my friend, but why? It doesn't bother you??
So you decide to text me everyday all the way up to 3am with no trouble, but you have a girlfriend?
You said before when you meet me you thought I was attractive and you call me cute most of the time, But you have a girlfriend?
Do you do this on purpose to play with me?
Does your girlfriend know that you talk to me?
Is your girlfriend okay with you talking to a lot of girls?
YES...but why? You must be very trust worthy, and you treat every girl sooo special...but you have a girlfriend?
I don't know if I'm over thinking because all your friends say that you're a good person and you will not use someone or play with them.
You treat me so special, you make me think that I have a chance, you know I like you yet you keep texting me, making me happy, I can never talk to anyone the same way I do to you, You say "We have so much in common it's really remarkable, you are like the other version of me"..... when you were with this one girl you said you liked how she was the other version of you...
Why do you do this, YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND
YOU KNOW I LIKE YOU
Don't you think that I can be suffering because of how much I want to kiss you when we hug.... or when you make me feel like the only girl in the world... you do all this for me and that BUT YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND
Jan 16, 2019
Jan 16, 2019 at 10:55 PM UTC
Alright the title is actually right, this is not a poem.
I want advice on what to do with a guy I like, he calls me adorable, he said he finds me attractive, he takes me out whenever, to the most random places.
He is there for me, he makes me feel special, he always makes me laugh, we text all day everyday.
But...
He has a girlfriend. Why would someone show that much care and affection to someone who isn't his girlfriend. I don't know if this is how he actually is or if he is just an actual flirt.
Most of his friends are girls so I doubt I am the only one
Jan 8, 2019
Jan 8, 2019 at 1:39 AM UTC