I wanted to write you something happy and silly today. Instead I don't know what to say...and knowing me, you know that's not really my way...
But may I say one tiny thing before the celebrations begin? It's not going to be epic or even pretty...but once you made my heart serenade. Now I'm a spectator looking in I'm afraid... I'm standing here outside your life with nothing to bring. I wanted to give you eternal friendship and love but there's no need for what you already have in plenty.
So my gift this year is nothing; it's empty.
I've wrapped it in moonlight and waves of the ocean, attached a card inked in golden dreams and magic, because those things you can never get enough of. So my gift this year is hollow and empty but maybe you'll save the wrappin paper in your heart? Nicely folded amongst memories of sunshine, moons and stars (even stolen cars.)
Maybe you'll open it once in awhile? Pick up my wrapper and remember the gift of nothing from a Swedish girl wishing infinite joy for the birthday boy? That was all I wanted to say…that… and Happy birthday!
Jan 22, 2017
Jan 22, 2017 at 8:33 PM UTC
Once upon a time...
a beautiful being was born
Grew up to endless running
lived his life hopelessly torn
true love always shunning
With a soul of diamond dust
this creature was absolutely stunning
but never sure whom to trust
Everyone wanted a piece of the magic
To this storyteller it ended rather tragic…
Eternally in love with a fairytale
Threatened by reality our love was just too frail
And that's how this sad story ended
With broken hearts never mended
Once upon a time a beautiful being was born...
...in fact it was a Unicorn!
Sep 14, 2016
Sep 14, 2016 at 6:13 AM UTC
It will fade eventually...
It has to fade eventually!
Neuron paths used less frequent fade, right?
The road less traveled will become an overgrown stony, bumpy path instead of this autobahn in my mind, this highway of thoughts you have created.
I'm sure it will fade eventually...
I'm sure it HAS to fade eventually.
Aug 1, 2016
Aug 1, 2016 at 6:19 PM UTC
It would have been one year today...
One year if I had made you stay
One year minus; twenty plus one day
That's when you took your love away
It would have been one year today...
It's not; and that makes my heart tear,
that we never made it one full year,
and you are no longer here...
We didn't make it the full year round
Still wishing you're safe and sound.
It would have been one year today…
one year if I could've made you stay
Jun 22, 2016
Jun 22, 2016 at 3:58 AM UTC
Let me cry alone over you
Alone, without an audience
Let me cry in solitude over you
Out loud and ugly.
Let me scream out loud over you
Whimper from the pain your silence cause me
Let me trash my world in agony from
your razor snakes twisting in my gut.
Let me be rage out loud over you
Furious, fuming and boiling
Implode without spectators witnessing
my misserable decay of character
Crumbling over a man they didn't know existed
The invisible man who set my world on fire with words only.
You finally vanished for real and left open wounds never to be patched or stitched with anything but silence.
Silence, because I'm not allowed mourning you, not allowed missing you.
Not allowed crying alone over you leaving without a simple goodbye...
...Silence really is a ****** band aid.
Jun 14, 2016
Jun 14, 2016 at 4:59 AM UTC
We are firefighters you and I.
Fighting back a blind hot fire.
You, because of our impossible situation and the Other.
Me, because of my impossible situation and your Other.
I'm trying to keep my fire low and starving, or only a faint glow even,
but a whiff of air is enough,
enough to set my whole existence on fire.
Lay homes in ashes if not drowned or extinguished.
I'm grateful...
you keep your fanning breath of air
a swift tickling breeze for my sake.
Keeping your flare out of my flammable hair
but God, I want to burn so badly
I want to flame high, white and hot.
Not allowed to do that though....sadly...
I want to explode in a firestorm.
Consume everything in my way.
not listen to what they'd say
Turn everything into sorrow and ashes.
Let my heated tongues of flame lick you,
until you too is burnt to pieces.
Burnt pieces of charcoals
that I'd keep in my heated heart.
A charred smoking reminder
of how devastating this fire of our love is.
How ugly to all that is beautiful and true.
Once letting my fire burn free there is no taming it,
no pardon, no wit
So, thank you my love!
For not fanning this fire
with more than
your flammable existence
It is oxygen enough.
I've lost all resistance.
So, thank you my love!
For not doing it my way.
Not letting me lay
my world in ached ruins.
It doesn't seem fair,
but let me slowly suffocate,
Turn your love into hate
make me choke and gasp for air.
A faint flickering flame
Pitiful and tame
As my fireman, put it out while you still can...
Apr 28, 2016
Apr 28, 2016 at 2:24 AM UTC
What could possibly be more pathetic
Than an old woman in love
The picture isn't very poetic
It's rather depressing and gray
There are rules of love old women should obey.
If you're wrinkled or broken you shouldn't have the nerve
to even try swinging that serve.
Because love is for the able and the young
speaking love as their first tongue.
It's not for women feeling the first touches of cold
In bodies getting old...
Mar 5, 2016
Mar 5, 2016 at 1:27 PM UTC
It doesn't really matter if "I love you",
if "You don't love you..."
Feb 16, 2016
Feb 16, 2016 at 6:53 AM UTC
when you'll get your heart broken
by words not spoken.
Yet you persist,
–even insist
...on making one more try
before you let yourself cry
*it was a beautiful ride
but here comes the tide,
that ocean of tears
confirming my biggest fears*
waves of silence
drowning the violence
...of my heart broken
by words not spoken...
Feb 8, 2016
Feb 8, 2016 at 3:27 AM UTC
Longing is my thirsty soul yearning for a desert mirage.
Feb 2, 2016
Feb 2, 2016 at 7:46 AM UTC