MorganMattingly - Hello Poetry

I feel 16 again Feeling that lack of love that hurts your stomach But I’m not 16 I know that love leaves you nauseous and cold Holding hands with a boy who’s morning routine doesn’t involve saying hello A moment of intimacy was nothing more than comfort for the time being I’m searching for a soul within myself that is craving a love

0

Sep 29, 2019

Sep 29, 2019 at 3:31 AM UTC

Growing old

I feel 16 again Feeling that lack of love that hurts your stomach But I’m not 16 I know that love leaves you nauseous and cold Holding hands with a boy who’s morning routine doesn’t involve saying hello A moment of intimacy was nothing more than comfort for the time being I’m searching for a soul within myself that is craving a love

7

I’m still purging Old strings attached Frayed and collecting debris Lint in hair tangles everything around My solid body is walking on new ground My blurry edges are left somewhere else I have a feeling I must leave in order to return Iv always flowed in and out of reality My steps have become too heavy to leave

0

Feb 12, 2019

Feb 12, 2019 at 8:11 PM UTC

Strings

I’m still purging Old strings attached Frayed and collecting debris Lint in hair tangles everything around My solid body is walking on new ground My blurry edges are left somewhere else I have a feeling I must leave in order to return Iv always flowed in and out of reality My steps have become too heavy to leave

9

Sometimes beach roads remind me of a journey into another reality. An entry way into spoken word of death becoming real. Colorful tile when I was brought to my knees A baptism in the ocean that I didn’t ask for but needed Flying moths the Mayan people call “signs from traveling souls” Sometimes this place reminds me of death Other times I’m reminded of rebirth

0

Feb 12, 2019

Feb 12, 2019 at 8:08 PM UTC

Mexico

Sometimes beach roads remind me of a journey into another reality. An entry way into spoken word of death becoming real. Colorful tile when I was brought to my knees A baptism in the ocean that I didn’t ask for but needed Flying moths the Mayan people call “signs from traveling souls” Sometimes this place reminds me of death Other times I’m reminded of rebirth

7

Yesterday I talked to my brother and he was telling me how sometimes nothing feels real. Not even himself. He described it as just a feeling and nothing more. And it passed. I wonder if he was scarred that it wouldn’t go away. He talked about the universe as endless as his curiosity. And the confusion of being alive. How small we all are And science as religion. All I could think was I am not alone in my thoughts, My feelings that sometimes nothing is real.

0

Nov 17, 2018

Nov 17, 2018 at 8:49 AM UTC

Brother

Yesterday I talked to my brother and he was telling me how sometimes nothing feels real. Not even himself. He described it as just a feeling and nothing more. And it passed. I wonder if he was scarred that it wouldn’t go away. He talked about the universe as endless as his curiosity. And the confusion of being alive. How small we all are And science as religion. All I could think was I am not alone in my thoughts, My feelings that sometimes nothing is real.

12

He says “ how does it feel that everyone wants to **** you” A trophy with green eyes? Could you feel the pain pouring out between my legs ? Have you ever had *** instead of crying out for help? Felt eyes on a body you don’t know anymore? Disappeared under blankets to reemerge as a token? Hidden in pockets of boys who will never know you. Pulled out at parties around tables filled with drinks. Have you ever felt the absence of love ? That’s what it feels like.

0

Oct 9, 2018

Oct 9, 2018 at 8:57 AM UTC

Trophy

He says “ how does it feel that everyone wants to **** you” A trophy with green eyes? Could you feel the pain pouring out between my legs ? Have you ever had *** instead of crying out for help? Felt eyes on a body you don’t know anymore? Disappeared under blankets to reemerge as a token? Hidden in pockets of boys who will never know you. Pulled out at parties around tables filled with drinks. Have you ever felt the absence of love ? That’s what it feels like.

10

I know you were not the cause but the effect of an unbearable pain. An untaught lesson A wild spirit from teenage years The answer before the question was even asked You are not singular but you are loyal You give before we can ask what you are going to take in return Take a life that wasn’t yours to take Take a love before it even had a chance Take a innocent heart that isn’t under your wing, but passing by A black hole A magic spell with terms and conditions No one gets the chance to sign an agreement You have taken my friend You have taken my first love You showed me hell through a pair of blank eyes I can forgive the vessel I can never forgive you

0

Oct 9, 2018

Oct 9, 2018 at 7:53 AM UTC

A letter to addiction

I know you were not the cause but the effect of an unbearable pain. An untaught lesson A wild spirit from teenage years The answer before the question was even asked You are not singular but you are loyal You give before we can ask what you are going to take in return Take a life that wasn’t yours to take Take a love before it even had a chance Take a innocent heart that isn’t under your wing, but passing by A black hole A magic spell with terms and conditions No one gets the chance to sign an agreement You have taken my friend You have taken my first love You showed me hell through a pair of blank eyes I can forgive the vessel I can never forgive you

17

I think of the earth changing it’s rotation as I step into a new self Or seasons moving backwards when I change direction Not to start over, but to start something new But Iv been sad in the summer and happy in the winter I keep hearing that time is not linear

0

Sep 26, 2018

Sep 26, 2018 at 11:26 AM UTC

Time

I think of the earth changing it’s rotation as I step into a new self Or seasons moving backwards when I change direction Not to start over, but to start something new But Iv been sad in the summer and happy in the winter I keep hearing that time is not linear

5

Have you been sleeping okay? When’s the last time you showered? Feeling sad before you start your period is normal, you will be okay. You can’t die from a panic attack. Drinking that much coffee isn’t good for you. Have you tried yoga? What about meditation? You should try a new medicine. You seemed fine last time I saw you.

0

Sep 23, 2018

Sep 23, 2018 at 9:15 AM UTC

Advice and other comments that don’t help.

Have you been sleeping okay? When’s the last time you showered? Feeling sad before you start your period is normal, you will be okay. You can’t die from a panic attack. Drinking that much coffee isn’t good for you. Have you tried yoga? What about meditation? You should try a new medicine. You seemed fine last time I saw you.

9

Stumbling is in my nature The bruised legs of my mother who ran into walls that jumped out at her She told me green was her favorite color before I knew what it meant to feel growing life I trip on trails filled with deep green leaves I once saw her crying as a weakness Now I know how heavy it is to carry such uninhibited emotion

0

Sep 14, 2018

Sep 14, 2018 at 8:59 AM UTC

Mother

Stumbling is in my nature The bruised legs of my mother who ran into walls that jumped out at her She told me green was her favorite color before I knew what it meant to feel growing life I trip on trails filled with deep green leaves I once saw her crying as a weakness Now I know how heavy it is to carry such uninhibited emotion

6

When I talk about my spirituality and the classes I’ve taken in college, I feel a sense of superiority. My journal entries and walks around the park. Flowers blooming that I didn’t plant. I tell myself I know what it feels like to be alive. I jumped off a bridge once: 750 feet off a bridge in Africa. The 17 hour flight back home to you was the most exciting part. I always say “don’t question the unknown” “Some things are not supposed to have answers” I’m always searching for an answer in you. I’m not scared of life. I’m not scared of knowledge I’m not scared of heights. I’m scared of you.

0

Sep 2, 2018

Sep 2, 2018 at 3:57 AM UTC

Africa

When I talk about my spirituality and the classes I’ve taken in college, I feel a sense of superiority. My journal entries and walks around the park. Flowers blooming that I didn’t plant. I tell myself I know what it feels like to be alive. I jumped off a bridge once: 750 feet off a bridge in Africa. The 17 hour flight back home to you was the most exciting part. I always say “don’t question the unknown” “Some things are not supposed to have answers” I’m always searching for an answer in you. I’m not scared of life. I’m not scared of knowledge I’m not scared of heights. I’m scared of you.

13