Lately I’ve been struggling with my body.
I am not skinny enough: I’m chubby.
I’m not feminine enough: I’m ugly.
I’m not masculine enough: I’m frumpy.
I cannot look at myself.
Feb 27, 2024
Feb 27, 2024 at 7:53 PM UTC
I try so hard to clear my mind and breathe,
but my brain speaks too often.
The words don’t connect with one another.
They’re all over the place.
From one to the next–I cannot focus.
Feb 27, 2024
Feb 27, 2024 at 7:49 PM UTC
i used to always be too much.
i talk too much. i laugh too much.
but somehow i was also always too little-
i wasn’t trying hard enough.
however, truly i was never the problem at all.
i gave everything i could.
i changed for you.
and i am so happy to finally say-
the real me isn’t dead.
without you around i have started to see me.
i goof around with reckless abandon and
i hype myself up.
i am cocky instead of self conscious- who knew cockiness would ever be a positive?
i am so incredibly happy. and im proud.
i am so proud of me- because i’m me and i’m not you.
May 19, 2023
May 19, 2023 at 11:46 PM UTC
i left the other day.
i packed my bags and moved out.
and that is when I realized
that home isn’t a place.
it’s you.
it’s our walks through the park
and our talks through the night.
it’s getting in trouble together
and getting out of trouble together.
home is us. home is our friendship.
I have no idea how to be at home when you’re not here.
May 19, 2023
May 19, 2023 at 11:38 PM UTC
sometimes when i think of you
i don’t know how to breathe.
not because of a fondness for you, no.
but because you ripped open the seams that i had worked so diligently to upkeep.
you’re an animal.
one by one you plucked at every string I had tied to me.
you took away my confidence, self esteem, and beliefs;
leaving me only with anxiety and a constant fear
that i would never be me again.
because the line drawn between what was me and what was you had been so faint.
every day i question if i think right or if i’m breathing correctly.
and then i panic and forget how to breathe.
Apr 28, 2023
Apr 28, 2023 at 1:00 AM UTC
Sometimes I feel as if you stole a part of me away with you.
You took the very essence of my soul with you when you left.
I didn’t think it was a permanent ending, of course, neither of us ever did.
Each time we parted, it was never the end.
And now it is, and I no longer have air to breathe.
The fire that once sparked us both and lit up our the passionate flames of our souls belongs only to you now.
Be passionate for me, even if it is not with me.
Nov 1, 2022
Nov 1, 2022 at 2:44 AM UTC
How do I tell my brain to stop?
I get in these moods when I should be happy.
So much is good right now,
but that one comment keeps sticking.
My dumb brain won’t stop fixating.
Sep 29, 2022
Sep 29, 2022 at 2:05 AM UTC
“A new start,” that’s what I told myself.
“I just need a change.”
It’s happening again- like always.
Regardless of what or where or when,
I end up alone.
People drop off like flies-
while it may seem irrelevant to them,
It’s the only thing I can think of.
If I look back on the photos,
I’m never there.
Sep 29, 2022
Sep 29, 2022 at 2:04 AM UTC
I’m so scared.
The feeling of being alone-
It’s closing in.
I don’t want to be stuck in the dark.
Aug 8, 2022
Aug 8, 2022 at 12:09 AM UTC