Monologues - Hello Poetry

"call me spoons" said "be giving you what you need," pause. like a toddler, sat in high chair mess face consisting mostly of chocolate pudding, eviscerated green beans, promises promises promises promises "you are one of a kind." a hand that can't win. "you're special," the kitten no one adopts "unique" alone "perfect" can't be fixed can't be fixed can't be fixed can't be fixed broken boy sitting at dinner next to cracked mirror metaphor mess face consisting mostly of bruises and that's it. bag of frozen peas on the eye green beans became useless after dad ran out spoons across the dining room no words; body language says enough "i failed you." said "couldn't give you what you need." "what you need." what you need what you need what you need? you. you need you. you need you. spoons at the end of a rope black eyes toddler can't see blind reach spoons isn't there spoons isn't there no object permanence means that while spoons aren't around, baby can't get what it needs. object permanence means in 1997 when you cheated again and she found out that there was no running away this time that you in this state will exist in abject permanence. she can never unsee bent spoons stained with street glue black tar lungs and inability to breathe mess face consisting mostly of i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry

0

Jul 18, 2015

Jul 18, 2015 at 1:16 AM UTC

spoons

"call me spoons" said "be giving you what you need," pause. like a toddler, sat in high chair mess face consisting mostly of chocolate pudding, eviscerated green beans, promises promises promises promises "you are one of a kind." a hand that can't win. "you're special," the kitten no one adopts "unique" alone "perfect" can't be fixed can't be fixed can't be fixed can't be fixed broken boy sitting at dinner next to cracked mirror metaphor mess face consisting mostly of bruises and that's it. bag of frozen peas on the eye green beans became useless after dad ran out spoons across the dining room no words; body language says enough "i failed you." said "couldn't give you what you need." "what you need." what you need what you need what you need? you. you need you. you need you. spoons at the end of a rope black eyes toddler can't see blind reach spoons isn't there spoons isn't there no object permanence means that while spoons aren't around, baby can't get what it needs. object permanence means in 1997 when you cheated again and she found out that there was no running away this time that you in this state will exist in abject permanence. she can never unsee bent spoons stained with street glue black tar lungs and inability to breathe mess face consisting mostly of i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry

50

your painted hands touched the moon i listened to your heartbeat on the floor of your livingroom and god **** i can feel your smile everything was red and blue ill always see the best in you and now youre standing there with june in your arms youre holding on to summer a vacation from the rest of the world so let me rest here with you ill always see the best in you i had dreams of our adventures i woke up wanting to leave i think we talk in our sleep your bones are warm and i can finally breathe

0

Jul 5, 2015

Jul 5, 2015 at 3:27 AM UTC

with hope

your painted hands touched the moon i listened to your heartbeat on the floor of your livingroom and god **** i can feel your smile everything was red and blue ill always see the best in you and now youre standing there with june in your arms youre holding on to summer a vacation from the rest of the world so let me rest here with you ill always see the best in you i had dreams of our adventures i woke up wanting to leave i think we talk in our sleep your bones are warm and i can finally breathe

14

pile of blankets--vaguely human shaped bed lump white curtains, snake skin bundle crepuscular lit window opposed wall cranky cellphone sounds slither-hand. blind pat. that old song and dance. 11:17 am self medicated coma consciousness comes too soon post alcohol lubricated dry throat dryer tumbled bones dehydrated nectarine shrunken head ache body floats to surface ice on road out of control alligator death spinning head body floating too fast car crash at bed foot hand eye coordinates aim for dresser slow foot movement high speed camera precision-every frame counts reflective closet door shows thick skull and hollow skin, too translucent for comfort. blue veins battling to breathe squemish rattling breath shuts up let the stomach talk. blurted burps stomach acid cacaphony rorshach stained carpet matches drapes depression is a thick milkshake

0

Jul 1, 2015

Jul 1, 2015 at 12:31 AM UTC

Forward

pile of blankets--vaguely human shaped bed lump white curtains, snake skin bundle crepuscular lit window opposed wall cranky cellphone sounds slither-hand. blind pat. that old song and dance. 11:17 am self medicated coma consciousness comes too soon post alcohol lubricated dry throat dryer tumbled bones dehydrated nectarine shrunken head ache body floats to surface ice on road out of control alligator death spinning head body floating too fast car crash at bed foot hand eye coordinates aim for dresser slow foot movement high speed camera precision-every frame counts reflective closet door shows thick skull and hollow skin, too translucent for comfort. blue veins battling to breathe squemish rattling breath shuts up let the stomach talk. blurted burps stomach acid cacaphony rorshach stained carpet matches drapes depression is a thick milkshake

23

Daddy was a boa constrictor Offering up plate fulls of false sense of security Broken jaw constituents, Constipated writhing speech; trouble passing bones Lack of spine constitutes Ability to bend over backward. When offered a hug Squeezes too tight Unsure if apologizing or preparing the evening meal. Been stuck in a cage for too long Regrets not taking a chance to stay in the wild Opted instead for meals when he wanted them, heat lamp and a stick Seventeen notches; One for each year he squeezed tighter on a turtle trying his hardest to soften her shell One for each year he looked through the glass Trying to find a rabbit to ravage while barely allowing my mother to breathe Late night soirées with cute mice Come home smelling like the wild While mother was preparing the evening meal that he would no longer eat "Stuffed," he explained it. The same way stuffy is how you feel when you can barely breathe. Discontent with living on one side of the glass where the grass is no longer greener he broke down his walls and slithered away Wrecked home record, doomed to repeat. Watched him unhinge his jaw calling it a smile Forked tongue double speak He told me he loved me and I think even he believed it I don't think he could tell the difference between the sun and a heating lamp He called me his child but I think he only saw warmth from those pits he called eyes Daddy was blind. Only recognized me when I grew fangs of my own, Biting back words that could crush bones I said that I loved him too Daddy WAS a boa constrictor Now he's just a snake skin boot, too worn out to be worn again

0

Jun 29, 2015

Jun 29, 2015 at 1:17 PM UTC

snakes

Daddy was a boa constrictor Offering up plate fulls of false sense of security Broken jaw constituents, Constipated writhing speech; trouble passing bones Lack of spine constitutes Ability to bend over backward. When offered a hug Squeezes too tight Unsure if apologizing or preparing the evening meal. Been stuck in a cage for too long Regrets not taking a chance to stay in the wild Opted instead for meals when he wanted them, heat lamp and a stick Seventeen notches; One for each year he squeezed tighter on a turtle trying his hardest to soften her shell One for each year he looked through the glass Trying to find a rabbit to ravage while barely allowing my mother to breathe Late night soirées with cute mice Come home smelling like the wild While mother was preparing the evening meal that he would no longer eat "Stuffed," he explained it. The same way stuffy is how you feel when you can barely breathe. Discontent with living on one side of the glass where the grass is no longer greener he broke down his walls and slithered away Wrecked home record, doomed to repeat. Watched him unhinge his jaw calling it a smile Forked tongue double speak He told me he loved me and I think even he believed it I don't think he could tell the difference between the sun and a heating lamp He called me his child but I think he only saw warmth from those pits he called eyes Daddy was blind. Only recognized me when I grew fangs of my own, Biting back words that could crush bones I said that I loved him too Daddy WAS a boa constrictor Now he's just a snake skin boot, too worn out to be worn again

32

You're long gone. I doubt you'll even hear this. I never got to tell you how I feel. And that's pretty lame. I guess I'll start from the top I really miss your hands Specifically the way you Gesticulated When you were ******* lying I miss the sound of your voice Specifically the way it sounded When you were screaming in my face I guess I don't miss you at all You really ****** me up. Don't get me wrong We had some good times too Remember the time you told me you loved me and then you got pregnant with a crack head's kid and married him? Oh yeah and he's fifty something and owns snakes too. That was just the bees knees. I really miss your brain Remember the time you conditioned me And got an A+ in psychology? I really miss some of my old friends But you ****** them too so You can ******* keep em I don't miss you at all You really ****** me up I really hate your mood swings There's no sugar coating it. They really ******* ****** I really hate your sense of entitlement But you're on a website called homewrecker.com And I'm living in California so **** you I win

0

Jun 28, 2015

Jun 28, 2015 at 5:33 PM UTC

lyrics

You're long gone. I doubt you'll even hear this. I never got to tell you how I feel. And that's pretty lame. I guess I'll start from the top I really miss your hands Specifically the way you Gesticulated When you were ******* lying I miss the sound of your voice Specifically the way it sounded When you were screaming in my face I guess I don't miss you at all You really ****** me up. Don't get me wrong We had some good times too Remember the time you told me you loved me and then you got pregnant with a crack head's kid and married him? Oh yeah and he's fifty something and owns snakes too. That was just the bees knees. I really miss your brain Remember the time you conditioned me And got an A+ in psychology? I really miss some of my old friends But you ****** them too so You can ******* keep em I don't miss you at all You really ****** me up I really hate your mood swings There's no sugar coating it. They really ******* ****** I really hate your sense of entitlement But you're on a website called homewrecker.com And I'm living in California so **** you I win

33

moved across country chasing dreams became complacent started drinking again found new goals quit drinking quit smoking getting in shape woke up okay

0

Jun 28, 2015

Jun 28, 2015 at 5:25 PM UTC

Untitled

moved across country chasing dreams became complacent started drinking again found new goals quit drinking quit smoking getting in shape woke up okay

9

hands inspire words to be typed by other hands my heart is beating i can see it my stomach bounces a little each time low blood pressure typically means a low chance of heart disease but a big chance of not giving much of a **** about anything bed stained where skin touched skin beautiful act ugly reminder dont clip fingernails often enough stay ***** work in food industry coffee farmers drink coffee made from the worst beans of the harvest magnum opus never experienced by artist motorcycles are a good way of saying i have a lot of money and care about nothing

0

Jun 28, 2015

Jun 28, 2015 at 12:37 AM UTC

free writing

hands inspire words to be typed by other hands my heart is beating i can see it my stomach bounces a little each time low blood pressure typically means a low chance of heart disease but a big chance of not giving much of a **** about anything bed stained where skin touched skin beautiful act ugly reminder dont clip fingernails often enough stay ***** work in food industry coffee farmers drink coffee made from the worst beans of the harvest magnum opus never experienced by artist motorcycles are a good way of saying i have a lot of money and care about nothing

9

cant say i love you with two tongues in your mouth animals convey emotion without words

0

Jun 28, 2015

Jun 28, 2015 at 12:27 AM UTC

Untitled

cant say i love you with two tongues in your mouth animals convey emotion without words

2

pair of stained mustard yellow courderoys at a black tie affair that feeling you get when youre too full to eat your last meal the smell of hot asphalt on a rainy day, broken nose. everything smells like blood handmade silk screened tee shirt commemorating first time getting drunk road work: wake up five hours early still ten minutes late birthday cake for a diabetic

0

Jun 28, 2015

Jun 28, 2015 at 12:16 AM UTC

Untitled

pair of stained mustard yellow courderoys at a black tie affair that feeling you get when youre too full to eat your last meal the smell of hot asphalt on a rainy day, broken nose. everything smells like blood handmade silk screened tee shirt commemorating first time getting drunk road work: wake up five hours early still ten minutes late birthday cake for a diabetic

7

brown: (n.) black coffee no sugar paintings tone depth (lack thereof) mud on boots kicked off at door rusted kettle poison tee empty fruit crate dumpster bound ugly cat boring eyes **** that

0

Jun 27, 2015

Jun 27, 2015 at 3:31 AM UTC

Untitled

brown: (n.) black coffee no sugar paintings tone depth (lack thereof) mud on boots kicked off at door rusted kettle poison tee empty fruit crate dumpster bound ugly cat boring eyes **** that

9