I’m not sad
at least I don’t think I am
but something in me feels… off
like a song playing in the wrong key
and I can’t find where it changed
I sit down
not because i’m tired
just because standing feels like too much to explain
my phone is there
my work is there
everything i’m supposed to care about is right there
but I just stare past it
like it belongs to someone else’s life
my mind is full
I think
but when I reach for a thought
there’s nothing i can hold
so what am I doing?
I don’t know
and that’s the worst part
because if something was wrong
at least I could point at it
name it
fight it
but this?
this has no face
it’s just me
sitting
existing
feeling like I missed a step somewhere
and now everything’s slightly out of sync
I tell myself to get up
“just move
just start
it’s not that hard”
but my body doesn’t listen
not because it can’t
just because it doesn’t want to
and I don’t even know why
and that scares me a little
not enough to panic
just enough to notice
like…
when did I stop understanding myself?
when did everything become something i have to push through
instead of something I just do?
so I stay there
a little too long
thinking
or trying to
or pretending to
while time keeps going
without asking me if i’m ready
and I know i’ll get up eventually
I always do
but right now
I’m just here
and somehow
that feels heavier
than it should
Mar 29
Mar 29, 2026 at 6:04 AM UTC
I miss the days when time was soft,
when minutes stretched like rubber bands
and the sky felt closer to my hands.
Back then, laughter didn’t ask permission,
it just spilled
on dusty roads, on scraped knees,
on evenings that smelled like rain and food cooking inside.
I miss how problems were small enough
to hide behind a door
or disappear after sleep.
How tomorrow was a word, not a weight.
How happiness lived in broken toys,
shared secrets,
and the sound of my name being called from outside.
Childhood was a place
where the world hadn’t taught me fear yet,
where my heart was loud
and my dreams didn’t whisper.
Now I carry it quietly inside me
a faded photograph,
still warm,
still waiting to be remembered.
Feb 7
Feb 7, 2026 at 2:04 AM UTC
Love is the song in my headphones
that I should’ve skipped
but didn’t.
It plays while I stare at nothing,
while messages sit unread,
while I pretend I’m okay with silence.
Some parts hurt
the lyrics, the timing,
the way it understands me too well.
So I lower the volume,
like that fixes anything.
I tell myself it’s just a song.
But even when it ends,
something in me keeps listening
hoping the next track
will feel a little less lonely.
Feb 5
Feb 5, 2026 at 10:51 AM UTC
I know I should start
but my bed is too soft,
my phone too loud,
and honestly, math can wait.
I’ll do it later.
Yeah, later.
Maybe after this video
or this game
or after I finish staring at nothing.
The clock is ticking,
my brain says panic,
but my body says nah, chill.
Tomorrow looks nice anyway.
Jan 31
Jan 31, 2026 at 12:14 PM UTC
I’m not brave.
i’m just still here.
trying looks like waking up tired
and doing it anyway.
like saying “i’m fine”
and meaning “i didn’t quit today.”
trying is quiet.
no applause. no montage.
just me, breathing,
choosing again.
Jan 31
Jan 31, 2026 at 12:04 PM UTC