It was a onetime try
Yet it became a full time job
Pretending it was helping
While I knew it was actually destroying
Every time I do
I cut away a piece of my soul
It was an illusion of an escape
An illusion of a happy place
When running away from reality’s pain
My addiction seemed to be the perfect shelter to hide away
For moments it gave me a lovely peace of mind
It made me feel relaxed, and forget all sorrow in my life
Yet minutes after, I quickly felt worse
Felt miserable and hated myself for being weak and that much of powerless
It was devastating me from the inside
Consuming my breaths
And threatening me with death if I ever tried putting an end for it
True … death was scary, but living with such addiction was even more frightening
So eventually I took a decision
To never fall for my demons again
And to fight back whenever the urge for my addiction settled back on the surface of my mind
I won’t lie and say it was a piece of cake
For it was a dark period to pass by in my life
I was at the real rock bottom
But that rock bottom gave me a new start
A beginning for a new chapter in life
A life where I am actually alive, and not just breathing and passing by
Addiction takes all that is good and precious in one’s life; I didn’t realize that until I moved on and came clean from it.
Mar 4, 2018
Mar 4, 2018 at 12:01 PM UTC
Papers keep in secret ...
What people share in Public...
Feb 25, 2018
Feb 25, 2018 at 4:23 PM UTC
It only feels good and true...
With a white paper and an ink of blue...
Feb 25, 2018
Feb 25, 2018 at 4:22 PM UTC
Words won’t come out …
Emotions won’t show up
Believe me …
It is not by purpose
But it is by a mere inability …
Time is passing
And it seems there’s no way for trespassing …
Trespassing
The hurt …
Trespassing
The guilt …
Lightening
The darkness …
And filling
The emptiness …
What is to be done?
To ignore the void on the inside …
And stop pretending to be clueless on the outside …
What is to be done?
To start living …
And not just breathing
To actually start laughing …
And not just faking
What is to be done
To reach that famous light
That is only reaching from a small window’s crack.
Feb 25, 2018
Feb 25, 2018 at 2:40 PM UTC
Maybe in another place we'll meet ...
Maybe in another time we'll talk
We'll catch up what we missed ...
And we'll tell all the stories that were lost
We'll make the people hear ...
What we have kept in secrets for years
We'll show the world the truth ...
And we'll crush all the fear that we had
We'll be more than happy when we reveal ...
How much of monstrous we truely are.
Feb 23, 2018
Feb 23, 2018 at 1:20 PM UTC