the fire does not wait
it waits in the gaps
between breaths
where you think nothing lives
and suddenly it folds you
into its own silence
a tongue curls
around the world’s spine
licks at memory
and you feel
how easy it would be
to forget your own name
in the heat of it
shadows crawl upward
and descend at the same time
like someone pressed pause
and stepped inside the air
but you are still breathing
or are you?
or is the flame breathing you
it whispers in ash
a language of waiting
a language of wanting
a language that tastes like loss
and something sweeter
and you reach,
but there is no surface to touch
only the depth
and it is infinite
there is no beginning
there is no end
only folds folding folds
of heat
of smoke
of desire
of quiet
that remembers more than you ever will
hands would flee
eyes would close
hearts would betray themselves
but I lean
and lean
and lean
and I am the flame now
and the fire is me
and I am nothing
and everything
and the world is a long exhale
and I stay
and I stay
and I stay
and finally
I am only one word
and the word is
burn
Jan 22
Jan 22, 2026 at 1:06 AM UTC
Oh, mother
when did I start mothering myself
because you couldn’t?
When did I learn
to wipe my own tears,
to soften my own voice,
to hold myself the way
I begged you to hold me?
Am I healing,
or am I only becoming
my own replacement?
Why do I hear your tone
in my anger,
your silence in my pauses,
your sharpness
when I speak without thinking?
Why do I hate myself
every time I sound like you?
Why am I terrified
that I am slowly turning
into the thing that broke me?
Did I believe I could change you
just by loving harder,
by being quieter,
by being better?
Did I think if I survived enough,
you would soften?
Why did no one tell me
that daughters are not meant
to save their mothers?
Why did I carry hope
like it was my responsibility?
Why does it still hurt
to admit
that love was not enough?
Oh, mother
if I am learning to mother myself,
is that healing
or proof
that no one came?
And if no one could save you,
why did it have to be me
who learned the cost?
Jan 22
Jan 22, 2026 at 12:59 AM UTC