Im so hot im cold
Its so loud quiet its loud
Everything is opposite
Everything is too much
Its too much
Nevermind its too little
Everything is one in the same then different
What is this
Where am i?
Am i dreaming
I thought i was awake
Am i even real
What am I?
Am i in my own body?
No, im not
So where am i
Im in a world where everything is the same yet acts different
Yet im not different
Yes i am
People have changed me for the worse
I dont know who i am anymore
Feb 27
Feb 27, 2026 at 9:00 PM UTC
You said you would never think of me again
A chapter left unread
But you couldnt resist
Im a rose with thorns and you love the pain
You cant stay away
My love left a stain
Unable to wash away
There forever
A chapter read
A chapter regretted
loved nonetheless
Feb 25
Feb 25, 2026 at 5:07 PM UTC
Its midnight i’m crying again
Crying, tears pouring down my face
Crying while trying to calm down
Crying, silently, not to wake anyone up
Crying, alone
Its midnight i’m cutting again
Cutting deep
Cutting and watching blood pour down my arm
Cutting and feeling the sharo sting of pain
Cutting and staying quiet
Cutting and then hiding
Its midnight once again i dont know what to do
I dont know what to do in school
I dont what to do at home
I dont know what to do when im with people
I dont know what to do when im alone
Its midnight im happy again
Happy that i have friends
Happy that i have a family
Happy that i get good grades
Happy that my teachers love me
Its midnight im scared again
Scared my friends and family hate me
Scared my grades will plummit
Scared that people will notice the cuts beneath my sleeves
Scared that i will fail
Its midnight
Midnight and everything is silent
Everyone is asleep
Not me
I cant sleep
Not while feeling everything at once
Feb 25
Feb 25, 2026 at 5:06 PM UTC
Love
There are so many kinda
Romantic
******
Platonic
And i love expoerencing them all
Especially platonic
Building new relationships
Exploring different kinds of people
But everyone has a favorite
Trephine,
That is you
You are my favorite platonic love
Calling me terms of affection (brochacho)
Supporting me when things are hard (like me for you)
And not afraid to stand up for what you love and believe in (like waterboy)
Thank you, Trephine
For everything
Feb 25
Feb 25, 2026 at 5:05 PM UTC
Someone who can make me laugh
Someone who can make me cry
Someone who can lift my spirits on the darkest of days
Someone who loves me
Someone who openly displays how much they feel for me
Oh, wait
I know that someone
That someone is hilarious
That someone makes me cry in joy
That someone makes me happy when im sad
That someone loves me and tells me that
That someone shows how nuch they feel for me
I love you, someone, that will never change
Not until the light in my eyes goes out and im dead
Not until the earth explodes
Not until im killed will i ever stop loving you
Feb 25
Feb 25, 2026 at 5:04 PM UTC
People everywhere
Talking, laughing, smiling
Teachers greeting, smiling, teaching
Students laughing, tired, unmotivated
Three tests today
Two quizzes
One essay
Im exhausted
Yet I have to keep pushing
If i fail
If i dont get an A
Im a failure
Im the bad child
This place
This school
Is Hell
Feb 23
Feb 23, 2026 at 9:27 AM UTC
Your dark hair
Mine light
Your stoicness
My friendlyness
You sit in the snow, I stand in the sun
You stand alone, I stand surrounded by people
You stay quiet, I get loud
You’ll never be mine
But my heart will remain yours
Feb 21
Feb 21, 2026 at 11:12 PM UTC
The winds roar with life
A sign to not relapse, perhaps?
The blade edges toward my skin
Centimeters away
Bang!
A tree branch crashes into my window
The blade retreats
I let out a breath held in from the scare
I look down and notice the blood on my arm
The knife slipped
The pain starts to register
I cant stop now
I keep cutting
The pain creates a sense of calm
Losing control while gaining so much at the same time
Feb 21
Feb 21, 2026 at 11:11 PM UTC
104 turned into 0
104 days clean
gone
with a simple scrape of a knife
with the redness of my skin
my happiness is gone
i lost control
but i also gained it
i couldnt control the need to hurt myself
but i could control how many times i did it
how deep i went
when i stopped
it hurt
it felt exhilarating
like it always does
it gives me the feeling i crave
its better than dopamine
its addictive
if people ask
i’ll keep the days above 100
nobody needs to know
what i do to myself
It hurts
keeping to myself
there are people to help
but i know they dont like me
nobody does
im eager
too outgoing
too talkative
too quiet
too poor
Too ugly
im never enough
i will never be enough
because i dont know how to be enough
i never will
i have nobody to teach me
im too impatient
too greedy for things that will never happen
Feb 21
Feb 21, 2026 at 11:10 PM UTC
You said you would never think of me again
A chapter left unread
But you couldnt resist
Im a rose with thorns and you love the pain
You cant stay away
My love left a stain
Unable to wash away
There forever
A chapter read
A chapter regretted
loved nonetheless
Feb 21
Feb 21, 2026 at 11:10 PM UTC