Some days my ocean is calm.
It’s waters are bright and
It’s surface is calm.
Other days, it’s treacherous waters
Search endlessly for
Any sign of light,
Yearning to drag it down to It’s depths,
Never to be seen again.
Over the years, I have become
A skilled sailor and
Have learned to navigate both sides
Of my waters.
But when your ocean
Spills into mine
I’m afraid we will both sink.
Sep 14, 2020
Sep 14, 2020 at 8:58 PM UTC
She’s happy.
Her eyes are as bright as
Sunrise on the morning dew so
You can’t see the sorrow
They hide.
Her voice is as gentle as
A new mother’s careful touch so
You can’t hear the pain
She cries at night.
Her heart is as generous as
A dying man’s final wish so
You can’t tell it’s hand stitched back together
With threads of disappointment.
She’s happy...
But only so you can’t see
That all she really is
Is numb.
Aug 29, 2020
Aug 29, 2020 at 3:12 PM UTC
My mind is a war zone.
Memories of you hit like bombs
dropped from B-17s.
Rattling me to my core,
then leaving me with the aftermath.
My blue skies turning to grey,
clouded with the wreckage
you chaotically left in your wake.
My mind is a war zone,
but the soldiers have gone.
I'm alone in a barren land
destroyed by what you called love
and choked with the fear
of what comes next.
Aug 29, 2020
Aug 29, 2020 at 2:59 PM UTC
As the moon rises I am taken by the clouds,
Wrapped in their infinitely subtle grasp.
As the vapor curls around me,
all my pain is gone.
The buzzing silences, my heart slows,
my mind stops.
So beautifully silent
I bask in the warmth and
Numbness that surrounds me.
I smile as I let the clouds caress my soul.
Healing old wounds in peace.
Aug 28, 2020
Aug 28, 2020 at 9:37 PM UTC
Wandering around these
Cold cavernous tunnels,
I am searching for the light.
I’ve lost all sense of direction,
Relying solely on instinct
To find a way back to life.
With each turn I search
For the warmth of the sun
Rather than the chill of this
Labyrinth of thoughts.
I pour heart and soul
Into every step,
With hope of finding the light.
Aug 28, 2020
Aug 28, 2020 at 9:35 PM UTC
I am a jigsaw puzzle person.
I am the gift that nobody wants,
Received and then immediately
Pushed to the back of the shelf,
Until there’s nothing better to do.
As time passes my pieces disappear.
With each inadequate void
Comes another sigh of disappointment
Reiterating the fact that I’ll never be enough.
I am only a learning device,
Given to people so they can learn
how pieces fit.
And when they’re done
I am broken down and tossed away
So they can learn how
To start again.
Aug 28, 2020
Aug 28, 2020 at 9:29 PM UTC
Delicate roses the color of
love tinted cheeks.
Decadent sweets that melt
Luxuriously in your mouth.
Brilliant jewels that shine
As if the sun rises within them.
These ostentatious adornments
Are not the equivalent of love.
Love is the silence you savor
When you’re alone with them.
Love is the way you gravitate
Towards each other as if
You’d float away without them.
Love is the “I’m home” texts
The warm soup when you’re sick
The hand you were offered
Before you knew you needed it.
Love is not the gifts or
The big moments.
Love is every moment in between
And every detail we miss.
Aug 28, 2020
Aug 28, 2020 at 9:22 PM UTC
I’m so sorry.
I’m sorry you’ve made me out
To be the menacing creature
Lurking under your bed.
I’m sorry that my truth
Spread like poison in your veins
Too quick for you to be saved.
I’m sorry that my happiness
Has left a cavern in your heart
Only to be filled with hatred and revenge.
I’m sorry that in order for you
To be the damsel in distress
I had to be your dragon.
Aug 28, 2020
Aug 28, 2020 at 9:16 PM UTC
Promises, like words
Are thrown about carelessly
Like the grains of rice thrown at newlyweds.
Promises these days
Must be chained by contracts
Stained in ink, etched in stone
To hold any value at all.
I miss the days where all it took
Was a smile and Trust
Wrapping your fingers together
Whispering “pinkie promise” to each other.
I miss the days when
Making a promise to someone
Meant more than that promise
Only suiting yourself.
I miss the days when
“I promise you”
Wasn’t a door that lead to
“I may disappoint you”.
Aug 28, 2020
Aug 28, 2020 at 9:10 PM UTC
The hardest part of being happy
Is keeping up the charade.
Behind each smile is a sore lip
Bruised with anxious bites
Each time someone looks away.
Behind each laugh is a broken sob
Muffled into silence,
Hidden and saved for a rainy day.
Behind each kind word is a crack
In an already shattered heart,
Taped together with the words
“I’m fine”.
Behind each “I love you” is a desperate cry,
Screaming “Please don’t leave me”
Until their voice is gone.
The hardest thing about being happy
Is you can only play this game
For so long.
Aug 28, 2020
Aug 28, 2020 at 3:51 PM UTC