Take me to a field of flowers
and
confess your love to me.
With nature as our witness
and time as our officiant.
Hold me as the sweet scent
sways us
and the breeze
tells our story.
-M
Apr 7, 2022
Apr 7, 2022 at 11:03 AM UTC
You are the
trellis
to my climbing rose,
-
together, we make
the arc.
Without you,
they would run free
& indiscriminate,
climbing the walls and
the furniture alike.
You are the
frame,
the structure needed to
hold them
in their wild beauty
to
contain,
never
control
-
to come
together,
as a
thing
of
splendor.
Apr 3, 2022
Apr 3, 2022 at 12:54 AM UTC
Today, I yearn for you.
There is a heaviness in my heart that I try and center as a weight to ground me.
Do you think that's always something we must carry alone?
But today, it threatens to push over anything in its way, gaining momentum with each passing second.
Today, I yearn for my innocence.
For that lightness in my soul that washed the world in hues of pink and possibility.
Today, I bury the girl I once was.
I lay down flowers at her grave, and I cry hot tears of anger and sadness.
All while trying to make sense of the imperfections inherent in life.
Today, I try to heal my heart while making space for yours.
Today, my being misses yours.
Today, I yearn for you.
Not only as company for another lost soul.
But, as a reflection in your heart that is in my image.
Today, I pray you are searching for me too.
-M
Mar 4, 2022
Mar 4, 2022 at 2:25 PM UTC
I think there's something about youth that a lot of 'adults' forget:
those years between 20-25, might as well be 15,
they are long and arduous
and will test your will more times than you think possible.
But it is here where your character is forged.
Where your soul picks a path,
an identity in relation to this world.
Because what is the self if not in relation to another?
And from there, the current of this identity takes you along to 30, 35, 40, 50, 60 and onwards.
Some people buckle under this pressure,
it is intense and cutting.
And takes both rigidity in one's persistence
and
softness in one's heart.
Because a hardened heart cannot be imprinted on.
And that might just be the point of existence.
To be imprinted by love and to spread the same.
Kindness is a choice.
We choose in the pressure chambers of our 20s if we are nice,
or kind,
or neither.
I hope when you look in the mirror, you are as proud of your choice as I am.
It is this kindness within you
that you have nourished and grown,
with intent, and through a labour of love,
that will always carry you forward.
Kindness is a choice, but we were also lucky to be gifted this by Mom and Dad,
and from them ever since.
Their commitment to kindness
to keeping this softness in their hearts,
reminds me to do the same.
They have this inherently within them because of the communities they grew up in.
We are removed from these parts of our roots,
and that particular cultural piece
is not the same for us.
As such,
it will be our life's work to keep this knowing at the forefront of our minds.
And hearts.
However, this is still not a weight we must bear alone.
We do this in communities just the same.
It will not be easy
and will take both hard work and dedication,
but it does get easier.
The current picks up with time.
I feel fortunate to have you
on my team for this task ahead.
We have our work cut out for us,
and at this particular moment, we must go at it alone.
But that does not mean we are ever alone.
That community.
That safety net.
Those hearts imprinted with yours,
of past, present and future,
always remain.
This is my hope for you
as you go into this next chapter: that even when you are alone, you are never lonely
with this knowing.
My heart always remains soft and open to yours,
M
Feb 22, 2022
Feb 22, 2022 at 3:15 PM UTC
I'm a raw, exposed
crab, molting
a
new skin.
Feb 19, 2022
Feb 19, 2022 at 2:27 PM UTC
Sometimes
I write to you
when I’m sad
but today,
I write to you from
all the
love and joy
that is
coursing through me.
From the place of opportunity
and
abundance I find myself in.
I miss you
but I no longer feel
consumed
by this longing.
I feel excited
and oddly
rejuvenated.
Dickens:
"the pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again"
And it is the meeting
again
I find myself focused on.
The pain
of being
torn
away,
although there
is now more akin to
a faint smell that lingers on
well past when
you've left
the room.
This lingering reminds me I’m human.
And for that I am grateful.
Because
no pain holds
me
in its grips
anymore,
for I have turned myself
into water that easily slips
through
the cage meant to hold me.
-
Know that I am sending you love from my heart and warmth from my soul.
I hope this provides you
strength
and
shelter,
however brief.
Till we meet,
M
Feb 2, 2022
Feb 2, 2022 at 6:37 PM UTC
Something happens for you
something changes,
a part of your power
a part of your abilities
a part of you
when you’re faced with truth,
and choice,
when moving from known
into uncertainty
and in the face of this
adversity,
you lose a part of
yourself.
The smoke
it hangs low,
a weight in my lungs
like the feeling in my soul
the forests
burn themselves,
and out of destruction,
the new growth is born,
like us
be born again,
let my love
nourish & caress you
scars and all
rise to the
challenge
when fear beckons
lay your heavy head
and tired mind
in my lap
and let your tears
of sadness,
and longing
flow in the space between my legs
let go.
and like that,
I will hold you
& show you the
promises I won’t
break
let me reveal
my inner corners
as you show me yours,
and prove to you
how tender I will be
with your delicate
heart
resist the temptation
& give into me
instead
make love to me.
lay your lips
on mine
& slip yourself
into the space
between my hips
let me show you
true ecstasy,
let the arch of
my back
show you what
words can’t
let our bated breaths
& escaping moans
be our solemn vow
that fear
will
never
rule here
again
let your fingers
get tangled in my hair
as your heart beats
against mine,
as a reminder of what
is ours
have courage
& fervour
to hold on,
when fear
taunts you to let go,
when it smirks
because the intensity
almost burns,
& your soul bleeds
and your bones ache
& your
will is
tested
in these dark moments,
find strength in me
because something happens for you
something changes,
a part of your power
a part of your abilities
a part of you
when you’re faced with truth,
and choice,
when moving from known
into uncertainty,
when you’re
fearless.
Jul 4, 2021
Jul 4, 2021 at 6:21 PM UTC
My young body is impatient.
Restless
a bird
in a gilded cage
that would be at peace
for
if not for cage
there to rattle against
like ribs
creating a fortress
she mistakenly
thinks freedom
is granted
hungry for experience
so that her bones may know her truth.
My old soul is ever-patient with her.
Understanding
the energy and vitality of youth
and its contagion
my old soul waits
needing no one else's company but
her own,
she will wait lifetimes if she must
because, for her, there is only one
other
to wait
for.
She sits behind me
and my pain,
under a beautiful arc of roses
dripping
the colour of blood
watching over,
and watching those
that have failed her test
with
compassionate
knowing eyes.
For she doesn't know
what
he looks like in this life,
but she'll know
when she sees him
she will feel it when they meet
and an entire lifetime
will
be
captured in
the
intensity
of their gaze.
Apr 13, 2021
Apr 13, 2021 at 2:26 PM UTC
I search for him,
he who would take my pain
and carry it as his own
even just for a moment,
so I that I could feel what it is to breathe without this weight on my ribcage.
They walk
through
my gates
through my garden,
and see the ugliness of my pain
holding court in the center,
and would flee in fear
and disgust.
And each time I sat next to
my pain,
holding its hand
and
letting my tears nourish the earth around
its deep roots
that wind through,
because nothing and no one else
dared to go nearer.
I sat, the only company my pain
has ever known
and told it with damp eyes that watch
the abandon,
that they are beautiful
just as they are,
and that men that can't see
beauty
in pain,
are simply boys
playing.
And each time,
my heart bleeds a little less.
And so I sit in wait
with the only real company
I've ever known
and hope for more,
tomorrow.
Apr 13, 2021
Apr 13, 2021 at 2:01 PM UTC
I wash your sins
within me
I heal
and nurture
them
not for you,
and one moment
on your long list.
I cleanse
your transgressions for me
and for her,
and our daughters
and their daughters.
In the
undercurrent of my
being,
I bathe my wound
and swim
and search
for a way
forward,
because what is
existence
if not time
pulling
us along?
-
I think
I was born into
this life
a healer.
To feel this shared
pain
and see its shadows
as if light, reflecting
and dancing
against a wall,
creating
constellations
of
heartache.
I see now
my purpose,
to connect with the
heavens unknown
from this
earth
so this wicked
energy may
leave
this
world.
And us.
To nourish each other,
so that we can choose
to transcend
pain
a human existence,
where love
and its triumphs,
and
deepest
darkest
of
pitfalls
coalesce
into this flesh
to
cross both space and time
to make
generations.
This flesh,
that I now wear
proudly,
albeit
timidly
at times.
This paradox,
I want
for her too.
Apr 13, 2021
Apr 13, 2021 at 1:45 PM UTC