Sam:
If I were say I'm out of time
You would believe me, right?
Nope
My life is dope
Its what I smoke
Constantine constantly so
Can't be, can't see, no?
Out of time, out of life
Bacardi so sublime
With a slice a'lime
Four lyrics a line
And substance abuse is fine
We going fishing some time?
No hook but I'm hanging from a line
Limited edition
Nope
I'm one of a kind
You wanted me to change my style
Change the one thing that makes me smile
Change takes time
So it'll take a while
LyleRose:
What are you talking about Sam
Always acting like you've had
Enough of going through life
Here's the answer you've tried to find
I'll give you a clue it starts with Ssssuicide
Sam:
Yeah but I mean it as a joke
LyleRose:
Haha that's so funny you made me choke
I mean you rap'bout smoke
How' bout you join me for a ****
Ciggerettes or Dope?
Sam:
But that's a slippery slope
I only do what I have to to cope
LyleRose:
All this lying to ya'self has to stop
You incredible degenerate
Waiting for a ***** pop
Is that what you see
Cop a feel
Paranoid about the police
I know just how you feel
Sam:
NO SHUT UP!
Get out of my head
I'm not some book you can just read
LyleRose:
How'bout you get up
Get outta bed
and do something instead
Sam:
I just hardly have anytime
I'm just trying to get by
Stop with the questions
Cos I don't even know why
LyleRose:
They say fake it
Until you make it
But you ain't made it
And you just as fake, ****
Sam:
What about the countless
Nights I work till late
LyleRose/Sam:
Maybe we should just run away
Other side of the world is far enough away
Family don't matter to you so just get away
Find some other place
With a trusting friend to stay
Its up to you
What are we going to do
This choice is for you
LyleRose:
SAM?!
Sam:
WHAT!!?
LyleRose:
No one's gonna love you
Like I do....
Feb 14, 2019
Feb 14, 2019 at 6:36 AM UTC
Sometimes I can't remember
Used to chase it higher
All letters I used to send ya
That problem it's mine yeah
19th November
10.49
Dear diary...
Woke up this morning
Same thought in my head again
But a new day has dawned on me
Suit up and lockdown
I'm getting hungry what should I get to eat
As I get ready to leave
This feeling came over me
No idea what it was
Thought nothing of it
Distracted by hunger
So I don't give a ****
Pace it down the street
Thundering clouds
Soak through my feet
Wasn't thinking
Delivery would've been a feat
The lengths you go too
Too get a feed
Heart beats
Mind bleeds
Finally I see
A stand in the distance
So I make my way
On the darkest of days
Ketchup or mayonnaise
That'll 4.30 please
What a feat
Forgot my wallet
That's great
Empty handed
And home I head
Out the corner of my eye
Inconspicuously I spy
Lovely young women
By the way son
Introduce myself
Strike up conversation
Names aren't important
"Ashely" that's a great name ***
Missing person in the days to come
How bout a lift home
And a little bit of fun
Just the two of us
Should've seen it coming
Our 4.40 lust
She didn't even have the time
To start running...
I'm losing my memory
But I'm just guessing fine
15th November
10.49
Dear diary...
Police sirens arise
From every corner of the night
Thought a home cooked meal
Would be such a delight
But she spat in my face
Am I a disgrace?
or is she looking for a fight
Either way she grazed me so
I don't know but
She's in constant anticipation
How about a vacation?
Just for you Ashley
but you push me away ***
How can I escape this nation
After her exit from civilisation
Wanna take action
but I'm in contemplation
So take a pick from my selection
Gunshot wound or strangulation
Red gloves and I'm enraged ***
Nobody's gonna miss you when your gone
Bin bags and disposable income
How about a road trip
Florida seems good, right ***
Piece by piece get in ****
Remember when I found you by the way son
I do
Plan changes? Nothing new
It's great when you help me to get through
Left or Right; Straight ahead will do...
Just hit the highway to hell
GOD **** I can't stand that smell
What have I done
How do I get out of this mess
Assistance no I need help
I can hear her crying
I crossed the line
Dear diary...
A nation wide man search
Where to hide on earth
Maybe I should've gone to church
Instead I joined the purge
Lesson learned
I can't get this blood off my hands
Sanity tied up ******* elastic bands
Heads banging like pots and pans
Toyota Camrio cameo
What came over me
Registration recognised
Harder and harder to hide
Hear the sirens from the rear miles
All the time we spent I never saw you smile
We loved each other for a while
Travelled about a hundred miles
But you just remained silent
I see you look at me with those empty eyes
Chased that feeling
Upper cut and I've hit the ceiling
Now I'm a ******* heathen
How could I stop you breathing
Does my life even have meaning
It feel like my skin is peeling
OH ****
Blue n' white in the rear view mirror
Doing 80 in a 50 wasn't the brightest idea
Is this where it ends
It's our greatest fear
Who I am talking too?
My time is yet so near ,
Back up plan is sorted
An Emotional bombardment
Here coming the police department
Secret Martha in the glove compartment
Closing in so I load the cartridge
This is to us Ashley
Fly away like partridge
Leave the peartree behind
Because the rest of you is my fridge
Just a face for company but this is it
I was just a regular guy
Covered in Teddy's garment
But before I go
I want to know
Did you get the letters I sent?
(Gunshot)
Feb 3, 2019
Feb 3, 2019 at 8:56 AM UTC
Hey I'm back by popular demand
So pop a lil xantex
As many as you can
But Ambassador I can
Not be to sloppy or rand...
Don't remember who I am
Its fine not even I can
Too many drugs will do that to a man
Independently wrecking the fans
Do it as fast as you as can
Start at ten and work ya way downa'
Wink, when?
Down another tablet
***** yes!
Blow it, **** it and pass it to a friend
This ***** like Jessica Abla
Put ya ******* in my mouth
Such finesse and nostalgia
Oh wowcher
I just made a mess of my trousers
I'm on the rise, the original arouser
Fully automatic, full on Mauser
I'm feeling pretty good, wanna come around?
Unlock the backdoor
Forgot to make sure
Oops you left without me
What to do now,
I guess it's time to die, youch
Yeahhhhh!
You can tell the wives love it
You can tell I've lost it
You can we don't take ****
Brace yourself for the next bit
Cos I've just ******* lost it
I'm as smooth as a criminal
I can be as smooth as a gentleman
Smooth as a 10 year old degenerate
Freshly bolded genitals
Tryin' figure where ma friends went
Guess they left me, what a surprise eh?
They never replied to the letters I sent
Ah oh well **** em' all anyway
Who could really blame them
Preaching to the choir
With the promise I could save them
But will I'll come back as nasty as he can
Walk up to the cutest girl
Ask for her hand
Lead her the dance floor
Ask if she wants
To make me into a man
Make some plans to
Stick her hand down my pants
34 seconds to finish from a couple of yanks
Fling her a nickel
Slap her ***
and say my thanks "mate" hah
Matter of fact bake me a birthday cake
Hidden blade inside to hide the jail bait
Jail break
Under shower *** is great
Just waiting for ya to participate
"Over here Georgina Bush
I need to **********
Woooaaaahhh!
You can tell the wives love it
You can tell I've lost it
You can we don't take ****
Waste your yourself on it
Cos I've just ******* lost it
I'm still going what, how, can?
The kinda life that'll make me a man
I mean I can bounce words around
Just like ya boy Simon Cowell
Caught inbetween Kim Kardashion's ***
Smashed, lashed I think I'm lost in here
Grasp, strong stance, but this is severe
Its all over now, I knew she was hollow
All this time I've been mellowed
But Its the first time Kimberly just swallowed
Yeaaaah hah!
Jan 29, 2019
Jan 29, 2019 at 9:04 PM UTC
Been thinking...
It's about time I made some changes...
Came so far now and I feel free
So free, 9 to 5 stress, call in green delivery
But eventually problems set in, it's only Monday
Loved as one, feel so gone and my future looks ugly
Jurry and executioner, can you please judge me
Money and pain go down the drain, and it's getting harder for me
Creating issues from problem solutions, still act toughie
Don't try to rush me
Midnight-mares ride through the night, it's scary
And "all this time I couldn't see
How could this be
That the curtain is closing on me"
Emin- NFing music discovery
Drop these drugs down the drain, head to rehab recovery
Problem facing, defacing, move to different countries
Running a race but never winning cos running from you is destroying me
Blowing smoke 24/7, this can't good for me
Keep on rolling sticky green, I'm in 3 deep
My complicated encampment, you see
You know I'm doing my best but does he?
Yeah...
It's hard for me to ask this
When I don't even have a mattress
Used excuses to delete this stress
I may changed ******* nothing, at least I can confess
It's been 15 years and I'm still a ******* mess
I apologise for all the lies
Decite it spreads like fire
My future could've burned so bright
Now I'm stationary, grips me like a vice
But lost my touch and I'm colder than ice
I stopped giving a **** just me, myself and I
But maybe that's just life
Do I dare ask why?
I was the butterfly, who had spread his wings to fly
Barely left the leaf only to be shot down, fall and die
Countless nights that I counted, where these issues filled my eyes
I can't help it, it's how I was raised by life
Now I'm going to go far to both yours and mine surprises
Chasing dreams all despite this,
Dripping in Bape and gold chains
Changing myself just to stay the ******* same
You know I never thought life was great
But **** if she's complainin'...
But **** if I'm staying...
But **** it I think I'm going insane
But **** if this is direction I decide to go...
And I know
Just how to create a flow
So why should I loose it if I know
Is it a gift or is it curse only time will show
Death: it'll set you free and let you go
Eventually it'll catchup to us both
So I'm leaving off this verse
In the back of a Herse
But in the end it was myself I hurt...
Fresh start?
Eye of Horus...
Thought not...
of course...
"Is he getting old"...
"Does he bore us?"...
Enough rhymes for a lifetime
Check my inventory
You know how I'm going out
Blaze of glory...
Well I'm back...
End of story...
I apologise for all the lies
Decite it spreads like fire
My future could've burned so bright
Pen to the pad, I'm stationary, grips me like a vice
But lost my touch and I'm colder than ice
I stopped giving a **** just me, myself and I
But maybe that's just life
Do I dare ask why?
I don't know... but I'll try
Jan 1, 2019
Jan 1, 2019 at 6:42 PM UTC
I wish I could just hide
Hold up, seek out, try and find
A reason to live or fall into a nose dive
I know your mad boy but just try to imagine
All and everything you hated disappears like magic
Thinking about a world lacking in your apparatus
Tools you use so you can't forget about us
So as a brother in arms
Nicotine to keep your nerves calm
Maybe you think your living in hell, but let me ask
If this world is like hell why are you up in the clouds...
Open mouth, keep it shut and listen to what I have to say
I know there's a quick way to end all this pain
Tack up, stirrups and saddles and just run away
Theres no way to let go when everything stays the same
And no matters how hard you try its impossible to change
Listen and read me and take note as a put this pen to the page
But take what I say with a grain of salt
I know how you feel but Its not my fault
We're like earthquakes because with live our faults
And it just so happens that
You feel like a unnatural disaster
So go on my son, I smoke like a rasta
But that's what it takes to make the horses run faster...
Now I just need to know
Why do you feel so cold
Emotionally so broke
Frozen to death in a war zone
Am I on the right path or the wrong road
Wrong way, it's not to you
Listen to them, no **** you shouldn't
Let them chat **** but I wouldn't
At least you have a family, I couldn't
So if you feel it again just push through it
Some of us just skim through it
Some of us just turn music
I'm a young boy with a gift and I use it
You have a brain well just ******* use it
You'll go far and I know it
If you have a dream pursue it
You corked up your talents so just unscrew it
Listen just think through it
Differently view it
Don't be misconstrued
If you feel depression just subdue it
I know it's confusin'
And it's hard to believe
But I've left footstep so just follow me
Give it some time and you'll see
And always remember
We love you January...
Dec 31, 2018
Dec 31, 2018 at 7:21 AM UTC
Feeling so cold it's like im covered in snow
So fire up the lighter and take a draw
As I lie naked surrounded by these hoes
Hah as if that would happen, take it as a joke
You try insult me try a little more
You getting fed up I know I'm a bore..
Ignorant and ******* forgot to asked "why?"
Call me a cycling bike cos I'm too tired
But I'm off the runway and away to take flight
Hop out the gunner way cos I don't take *****
ABC, AECC, 123 can't block the ******** I see
Oh looks like you've swallowed me
That wasn't the problem I need
It was always your help I seek
Transcended and lacking in motive
Transgender and ready for surgery
Bilingual bisexuality is 'insert in insult here'
Some days I've just had enough
You call me a dog is it cos I like it rough
Some days I'm tired of acting tough
Acting out of it, maybe my time has come
Nowadays I'm tired of being loved
By who you ask, am still trying to figure that out
Feeling like you're ready to cut me off
Tell me I'm a **** and I scoff
Inhale a smokescreen and you cough
Maybe it'll hide the fact you like it rough
I call it rap
You call it ****
Cos you want me to stop
But I've nowhere near had enough
Black hat, blue jeans
Its clear nothing is as it seems
Obviously
You try to be
Someone who's proof of indecency
Im independently seeking fame
The opposite of equality
I say this industry
They call it industrial for a reason
A reasonable response to responsibly
Research what in **** your thinking
20 years later we could be dead for all we see
Maybe If people grew up and stopped arguing
Call out a seize fire
Before the situation becomes to dire
My words fall on deaf ears cos ain't nobody there
Maybe it's cos you're all scared
Or is it cos nobody cares
Scary thought
Isn't it
Such ****
Just end it
If your gonna do it
Do it now
I'll survive it
Some how...
Dec 12, 2018
Dec 12, 2018 at 12:51 PM UTC
You have no idea...
How sorry I am...
That I just couldn't be there...
For you...
3 days a week
You bring me to the floor, my knees so weak
Where are you? Being to loose sleep
Thinking about all the little secrets,
That only you would make me keep
Hands on your mocha waist, our time was free
Chestnut hair and spruce lit eyes, heart on my sleeve
Rapper was I, you helped me achieve
AEOU like you never needed me
Summer jobs, smoking hard wee..
Don't remember, was like living in a dream
When reality kicks in, you were all of me
Back then it was hard too see
Pull myself together but why did you have to leave...
So let me know
I can't do this on my own
When I'm lost, you are there for I know
When I'm drunk, I'm stumbling home
Crawl into bed and question why I'm alone
Why I'm alone...
Why I'm alone...
3 months passed, and your with someone else
Feel no feelings like you left me on the shelf
With nobody to blame I only blame myself
A downward spiral, **** drugs and drink, I think I'm needing help
But how can I pull myself out of the grave I dug myself
Occurs to me what could've been, if I'd only seen
Wish I'd felt sooner, bodies under bedsheets
Fingertips graze down your neck to your feet
Open fields await, lights dimmed, it's getting hard to see
No one else would treat you so clean
Closer and closer to me I'll keep,
You and I would've have never been
Either way I'd have given you all of me...
So let me know
I can't do this on my own
When I'm lost, you are there for I know
When I'm drunk, I'm stumbling home
Crawl into bed and question why I'm alone
Why I'm alone...
Why I'm alone...
6 months down the line
Trying to pretend I'm doing fine
With nobody left it's only to myself I'm lying
100 miles away is that worth flying
I've never see you so happy
You had me so sweet like candy
Stash my love to the way side
I can't hide it...
But even though I'm feeling sporadic
When your heading back from work and
Your stuck in 5pm traffic
Just remember to look ahead and know
Once you arrive home
Just know there for you
And I'll be waiting for alone...
Dec 7, 2018
Dec 7, 2018 at 12:23 PM UTC
Ah...
Look...
I know I went in too deep at the start
Not a care in the world, didn't care who I hurt
Went through a lot of people but mum you got it the worst
We've battled on the battlefield and I'm the one who lost
I'm the cartographer with the map he just couldn't chart
Now I think we've taken this too far
I know I let you down and we fought like Vietnam
But I've looked forwards now, ****
I will always be here for you and I'm glad...
For all those years you were all I had
I know you were struggling whilst raising us and I understand
So thank you for everything we had because you were my mum and my dad
And I know I was never the best
Just been wanting to get this off my chest
Now it's time to lay it to rest
Because you made me the man I've become
I've wanted to tell you for so long
Thought alone made me go numb
At last the time has come
I'm sorry for everything that ever went wrong
An you know I'll always love you
Because your my mum...
Nov 26, 2018
Nov 26, 2018 at 12:19 PM UTC
Burnt out...
I've lost count...
So burnt out...
Yeah...
For so long I've put that pen to page
I never did this to get paid
I mean after all I'm still on minimum wage
"From my window", "scribbles" and shakes
I try to keep myself right, to my kids I pray
That they're future won't be the same... as mine, morally strong but mentally afraid
Fake faces produce hate in my soul
Have we been here before, I feel so old
Out stayed my welcome, rich from the songs I never sold
Take back what I saw with that attitude just wished I'd done more
Maybe I could've been the son you wished for
Want to cry, need to vent, I just want to recall what I said
I will always love you mum but I know what's done is done
I know things could've have been better, should've started before I'd begun
Laying the bricks on this road I run... paused for a second to look how far I've come... turns out this road has turned to crumbs, my body goes numb just slump into **** in the corner of this slum and see how I've succumb to what I've become...
And just so you know! Without you I still feel alone...
Throw a stone in the ocean into an unknown zone with no complicated commotion
Disturb the family devotion, hit the curb, tried to pretend like didn't feel the hurt...
And now I'm all burnt out...
When the tears try drying, endless nights of crying
Lying alone without ******* pillow to bury my grief
Been afraid for so long try to believe it was hard for me
So keep my arm around your neck cos I could go far, if you'll only see...
"Uh I just don't know anymore"...
Support a family who were left in the dark
Shadows swallow us, these youngers follow us
When feels like you've had enough, knowing you can't give up...
Because no way in hell am I backing down
Sitting down to brain storm and write it out
I know without a doubt I'm the Simon Cowell of writing fowl
"Play it loud" standing proud just to shout it out
Hatred floods the mind but right now there's been a drought
But how's many times have it said that now
All the ******** I spout, I've lost track now and can hardly keep count
I guess I'm almost done, I guess I'm almost out...
of touch my myself, I'm always in doubt
As the streets lights fade its got me feeling like a burnout
My vocabularies limited, I'm crashing and it's imminent, wanna carry on but just don't know right now...
Nov 17, 2018
Nov 17, 2018 at 7:39 AM UTC
Ah about time I was honest with you...
Two years I've been at this...
Would've never guessed it would come this far...
But I've always given my opinion on my... situation...
So...
Let me ask ya'll a question...
The **** you gonna do when they don't get you.
The **** you gonna do when they all act confused
The **** you gonna do when you can't see it through
I'll give you a clue, it starts with you!
How can you say that you used me, shame it was motive that fueled me
A traveler disrespected on his odyssey
A writer dissed on his autobiography
A rapper who don't need no prodigy
Oh and a sucker who doesn't have your respect, **** me?!
Just know I ain't taking **** from someone who was home schooled and still got bullied!
Now need think about this, it's kinda formidable
Head banging round these walls, I'm kinda predictable
Until I find a break through, I'm unfixable
These walls may hurt so find me a brother that don't act like a victim
Guess you that could place these syllables on one sick and indistinguishable individual...
Oops! I could've fool me, now through the gates of my Kingdom
You coming running, but I stood there, impenetrable
Take the shades off, about now super abilities would be useful
Shame that your wisdom leaves me pretty indefeasible
But just vanished, turned too ash or just invisible
Either way you left me open to suggestion so...
The **** you gonna do when they don't get you.
The **** you gonna do when they all act abused
The **** you gonna do when they can't tell the truth
I'll give you a clue, it starts with you!
Now I'm released, only open fields await
Its no where near those Kingdom gates
But when all seems good, so close too great
You gave me a task that couldn't wait
And suddenly I'm expected to accept the unexpected is a bargin I didn't make, feel like I fought a war and lost
If you can't be a parent, you know do you ******* job
A ******* disgrace this thief wants to start another war
I'm just little kid with dose of mummy issues
"quick pass him the tissues!"
Maybe instead of my money you can steal my childhood
Oh **** I take it back I didn't mean that literally
Too late, what a shame, at least had no responsibility with bigamy
Go on and do it but Ill keep my dignity
Additionally I thought you cared, when vacancies varied a various variety of people see fit to steal from me... no seriously
Never could see, that how could it be that I was the one you chose to betray
Uh now it looks like nothing goes my way "hahaha like ever"...
But originally I was supposedly a considerably miserable weak willed little ***** with a side of juvenile delinquency
We need to see how we can be to switch the inadequate of our compatibility
And maybe it would change anything but most likely I'd change nothing, naturally...
...but we'll see
The **** you gonna do when they don't get you.
The **** you gonna do when they all act confused
The **** you gonna do when you can't see it through
I'll give you a clue, it starts with you!
Nov 11, 2018
Nov 11, 2018 at 3:35 PM UTC