I suppose it wasn't
because I scared you off
But rather
you cared about her
More
than you cared about me
Nov 26, 2018
Nov 26, 2018 at 9:49 PM UTC
He sobbed with a look of depression and wept hopelessly,
The sky was
A dark, melancholy blue
He felt dejected and disappointed
She said he felt lost
She felt sullen,
Seeing the loneliness
Sweep across his features
His heart compressed within his chest,
Tears fell from his eyes as he tried to tear his heart from his rib cage
Knowing he’d always be a failure
She sobbed while holding back tears,
Never looking back at his crumpled figure.
The sky was a midnight blue
And she knew they would never be the same.
Nothing for these strangers would ever be the same,
For she had broken both their hearts
And he had not the strength to hold all the pieces
The black sky stretched above them
Like velvet, stars scattered across its surface
He wept
She walked away
He crumpled
She sobbed
He suffocated
She drowned
Their red string frayed and decayed
While the moon sat high among the stars
Illuminating their crumbling world
Apr 23, 2017
Apr 23, 2017 at 3:25 PM UTC
It's strange to feel
so empty
My mind draws a blank
when I need a thread of clarity
Denying the relief that
comes with hearing my own thoughts
Dec 1, 2016
Dec 1, 2016 at 11:14 AM UTC
I found myself stranded on
Neverland
with no way to fly
and no star to show me the way
'till one night
as I closed my eyes
a shadow appeared and a boy
close on his heels
they tumbled and rolled before my feet
Boy and Shadow became one
and grinned at me
"Peter Pan"
he said to me
playing a tune
and swore he just wanted
to talk for a while
Laying amongst the tiger lilies
I so adored and staring up at the stars
He asked me to be his
When I asked why he simply replied
"I once saved you from
Captain Hook."
"I’ll keep you safe."
"I promise you’ll never be lonely.”
Foolishly, I agreed
and he took me to his
Hiding Tree
where spiteful Tinkerbell
tried to be rid of me
for I was Self-Composed, Human & Withdrawn,
everything she was not.
He taught me how to fly,
showed me every nook and cranny
of his world by moonlight.
And I fell in love
with the way, his eyes shone like fireflies
and his pure and genuine laugh.
He was enthralling
and magnetic
always so carefree
and reckless
How wonderful it was
'Till Wendy bird came along
for she was Kind, Romantic & Empathetic
everything I was not
all I could do was watch
as they flew through Neverland
by moonlight
She fell hopelessly in love
with his recklessly playful nature
and hypnotic charms
Yet every night
Wendy gazed down
to see the girl
with the crow feather in her hair
laying amongst the flowers she was named
with Tinkerbell by her side.
Whenever she asked Peter why
he simply replied
“She is as Wild as she is Beautiful.
She cannot be contained
by the hollow walls of my Hiding Tree
Nor the boundaries of her village."
Then one night
when Wendy bird left
and Peter returned to Hangman’s Tree
he found Tiger Lily gone.
Every night he’d fly above
Neverland
only to glimpse
her crow feather
but all he found was an empty space
belonging
to her ghost
whispering
"Peter Pan
Take my hand and fly away
to Neverland
where the beast
within
can be free"
Tinkerbell never did say where she’d gone
only to leave her be.
Her wild beast no longer had a home.
Peter Pan
would never see her again
He had broken his Lily's heart
Nov 22, 2015
Nov 22, 2015 at 8:43 PM UTC
I can’t do this anymore
something has to change
I love you
I miss you
and I never meant to hurt you
I won’t say I’m sorry
because isolating myself
is the best thing
I’ve ever done for me
I’m finally getting to know myself again
and now I know why
I was never happy
The thing is
I was too caught up with
you and your messes
to realize
I was beginning to unravel
from the inside out
I was too busy making sure
everyone else
got their own happy ending
that I forgot
who I am
and what I needed
Now I realize
I needed
more
I need someone
to remind me to breathe
to step away
keep my sanity
stitch myself together
and bleed my own sorrows
Everything
you are, resided in me
everything
they needed flowing in my
veins
every dream
slept in my heart
and yet
everything
that I am was
nowhere to be found
and I can’t be that again
So this is goodbye
to the girl I used to be
and sleepless nights
worrying about
tomorrow’s sorrows
wishing
I could take the pain away
'til one day
I did
and never stopped
I whittled myself away
until I was nothing
without the pain plaguing you
and those around me
I became addicted
to ******* the pain out of you
and into me
inflating myself back to life
just so you wouldn’t disappear
I never showed it but
I was slowly
going insane
always needing more pain
You always said
I never wanted stability
and you were right
because if everything was alright
I had no clue who I was
and I couldn’t
fill myself back to life
Oct 28, 2015
Oct 28, 2015 at 8:59 PM UTC
Ya know I spent most of my life being
Ignored and forgotten.
At first I was bullied about my height
and ears and
just about everything else.
And then I built a wall and a mask
so that everyone would think I didn’t care
and it worked for awhile.
In fact it still does.
But the thing is I got angry
and I made it so
Nobody would dare say a word about me.
I was left alone
and that was fine by me, but
at the same time
it consumed me, became all I had.
And I guess you could say
I was lost at that point.
I had no friends,
a terrible relationship with my family,
I barely slept or ate, my grades were horrible.
All I had was my anger,
my walls, my mask, my thoughts
and myself.
I hated that.
But it's what I needed.
Because without my darkest parts
I would never be able to
appreciate my better half and the person I’ve become.
Yet it’s my darkest parts
I always seem to turn to for comfort.
It’s always been my default,
something to protect me I suppose.
But I am so sick and tired of being ignored.
So I made it impossible to ignore me.
Because being ignored and forgotten was the
one thing I couldn’t,
still can’t stand.
Oct 23, 2015
Oct 23, 2015 at 10:08 AM UTC
Just a snippet of my life
as if that would
Unravel
my being
But I am not made of a
single snippet
that molded me
I am many snippets
pieced together
to create a vast and flowing river
of memories and experiences
that defined me
I am made of many molds
and countless masks
scars buried beneath my bones
and secrets burning through my veins
I am not a single person
but many
I have not one voice
but a million
all merging and melding and overlapping
each other
for just one word
my demons and angels carry
pieces of my whole
I am a puzzle
that no one knows
quite how to put together
there is no answer key
no guide
just my broken scars
and fractured memories
Oct 21, 2015
Oct 21, 2015 at 3:13 PM UTC
I leave behind
everything
All those hurtful words
and false friendships
I leave behind
my mask
take down my walls
leave my phone
resting on my pillow, a note
sticking out of my favorite book,
take my iPod,
turn it on,
Leave it playing
“Goodbye Town”
and walk out the front door
with no regrets
This isn't my world
and it will never be
Oct 20, 2015
Oct 20, 2015 at 8:36 PM UTC
“Oh what a beautiful life”
We cut watermelon cubes
while her brother keeps us company,
Gretchen peels potatoes
beside us
Conversation and Silence flowing naturally
and comfortably
While memories of the pool
float in my mind
“So we try to live like it’s all we got”
What started as
dipping our legs in and talking,
music softly pulsing
out of my headphones in the background
as we laughed,
turned into Myth Busters
proving the rumor of hearing a **** whistle blown below water
being heard above
is complete ********
Suddenly I’m underwater, hearing the whistle go off
I’m completely soaked
Standing on the ledge, grabbing her arm
I pull us under
we swim around
Splashing and laughing
chasing one another
our clothes a lost cause
but we don’t care
simply enjoying the glowing moon
and bright stars
“Gives us just one perfect night”
Laughing
and Jostling each other around
Leaving the pool behind
I grin
Gretchen still peeling and cutting potatoes
began making conversation
and the memories
Slowly
Fade away
Sep 11, 2015
Sep 11, 2015 at 6:50 PM UTC
I am a terrible friend
I forgot
to tell my friend happy birthday
the day before
because I wouldn't see her
on the day of her birthday
I was too stuck in my own head
that I forgot
another friend's cousin died
today was the funeral
I barely know what's going on
with friends who
used to be so close
but are now distant memories
I'm never around
the reasons being my own
and now
nobody cares to tell me anything
I'm so ****** at myself
and yet
I can't help but
know that there's ways
to reach me
other than in person
but nobody cares enough
to do so
I don't know
if it's my fault or theirs
Yes I'm scarcely seen
in the flesh
anymore
but I have a phone, email,
hell they know where I live
So why doesn't anyone
contact me?
Why am I being
left out in the cold?
Why have I become
a distant memory?
What am I supposed to do?
All these thoughts
race through my head
and yet I can't catch a single one
I can't help but
let these thoughts drown me
and hope for relief
May 17, 2015
May 17, 2015 at 10:31 PM UTC