
I got my bags all packed and I’m ready to go
I’m standing outside of your figurative door
And I’m ready for the flight or to fall of a cliff
But if it’s alright with you I’d rather not miss out on us
'Cause your face is all I need to stay sane
I’ve spent my life getting in my own way
So I could use something good
I really need this to work out
Of course the way things have been going
It might be smarter to just cash out
But you’re on my mind
And the things that you say hurt me most of the time
But I’m sinking fast so it’s alright
I’ve tied my stomach in knots and I’m ready to know
I’ll put it on the line if you’d just give it a go
'Cause I wanna be the only one to hold you
So close and so tight
And if it’s cool with you
I’d really love to spend the night
You said you never wanna be saved
Well, that’s ok because I really wouldn’t know how
Just know that the best that I'll ever be
Is whatever you make me and wherever you are
You’re on my mind
And the things that you say hurt me most of the time
But I’m on your side
'Cause I know I’m not easy to deal with sometimes
But I’m sinking fast
So it’s alright. All we wanted was what we were
And what we were was young and naive
I found my place in this world
It’s in your wake
You’re on my mind
And the things that you say
Hurt me most of the time
But I’m on your side
Because I know I’m not easy
To deal with sometimes
But once in a while
I wish you would tell me if you even care
Because I’m sinking fast, and I need you
I need you to know that I’m alright
Jan 19, 2018
Jan 19, 2018 at 9:37 AM UTC
here i am again -
rock bottom.
my heart is busted up into pieces
and you say that you are close
but you feel so far away.
you say im not alone
but i am so afraid.
i've sunken into bad habits again.
i dont know how to fix things
or how to come
all i know is that all i want
is to be loved and love again
and find a painless love
where im not constantly the clinging end
of a moving train.
i dont want to feel it.
i wish i could become numb.
i wish i didn't feel any of this.
i just want to be happy again.
and feel safe again.
but i see you with her,
and my heart breaks all over again.
the nightmares are worse
i can't eat, not for days.
i feel so nauseous.
i can hardly pull myself out of bed.
i just want to be happy again.
i trade my pain for reckless behavior in hopes to
i dont know - move on? distract myself.
but i don't know what im doing anymore.
this isn't a beautifully constructed poem.
or a hopeful one.
its just works on a screen,
that account for nothing.
and i am so very lost.
Oct 27, 2017
Oct 27, 2017 at 9:35 AM UTC
i have written numerous times in many ways,
hopefulness is my gift,
just as it is my worst curse.
i can hope for several things,
hope i pass this semester
hope i lose that extra weight
hope my broken heart will heal
hope the winter comes quickly.
i can hope for a lot of things
but that hopefulness will sink into my pockets
and drag me down if i'm not careful.
hope is dangerous, just like fear.
i can hope that one day, you'll love me again.
i can hope for my appetite to leave me and never come back
i can hope for some physical pain to lesson the emotional pain.
but it will always be hope that carries me throughout today.
i dont know what will happen.
i could see the love of my life tomorrow
or ultimately get hit by a bus.
i dont know what the future holds.
or if i even have one at all. all i can hope for -
is that it gets better somehow
that i dont become who i love so dearly,
-van gogh
-sylvia plath
- ernest hemingway
because this sadness - could last forever.
Oct 24, 2017
Oct 24, 2017 at 8:41 PM UTC
so this is how it ends?
this is how this love story ends?
a tragedy?
Oct 18, 2017
Oct 18, 2017 at 9:23 AM UTC
hopefulness is my nail in a coffin,
as much as it is my best quality.
you take the good with the bad - as it is.
and when i make a promise i keep it
i promised you
you are in my thoughts before bed
and early in the morning
you are the pine trees outside my window
and the taste of coffee in the morning.
you drive me in the best and most impossible ways.
you are my hopefulness
Oct 17, 2017
Oct 17, 2017 at 1:51 PM UTC
who knows how long i've loved you,
and if its all the same,
i don't want to wait this long lifetime,
without keeping your last name.
Oct 12, 2017
Oct 12, 2017 at 9:06 AM UTC
You're the kind of person,
that makes me want to stay in bed all day,
and listen to love songs,
to pass the time away.
You're the kind of person,
that could light up the world with your smile,
and i don't want to miss a thing.
you make me laugh.
and you help me to let go of everything.
And this isn't a poem.
not as it should be.
But i am so grateful for you.
I am grateful for talking me through things,
when my big mouth gets me in trouble.
I appreciate you,
and the little things you do.
in as many words as i can say,
i love loving you.
Oct 10, 2017
Oct 10, 2017 at 8:57 AM UTC
you are effortless,
a force of nature,
the sound of the rain,
your own nomenclature.
Oct 3, 2017
Oct 3, 2017 at 10:41 AM UTC
Le soleil se lèvera comme hier,
et je suis amoureux de toi encore
Sep 21, 2017
Sep 21, 2017 at 11:02 AM UTC