LudicrousEnd6 - Hello Poetry

One life Two life Three life Four I thought I knew I plan and pursure But when its almost here The finish line falls And is no where near My college ends my program Now what do I do? Do I start elsewhere Or end my pursuit? The second choice of 42 thousand After talking with them its up to 84 But what about life and living there? Well now its 115 and my hope fades away That cant be impossible There must be a way But after some thoughts I realize the cost Maybe elsewhere, Perhaps more near? Well thosell cost less But wont be the same. Do I drop the thought? Do I end it here? Perhaps theres no need Perhaps theres a way I think and I think More and more About just what to do Because we are poor We arent poor in love or happiness Thats what family and antidepressants are for We arent poor in money either But once experienced Its hard to change We arent rich But we arent poor So why is money Still the deciding factor? School, College, University What ever you call it, its all the same They just want your money And to boost their fame At what expense What do you have to pay? For a modest job you probably wont like Only the 1 in 3 chance of taking your life Perhaps not perhaps youll win the fight That 1 in 3 college students fight. Well if you win and if you fight Now comes the problem of paying for life The debt it gives is so substantial That they lie and say its just circumstantial Perhaps their right Perhaps thats the way Just dont go And regret it for life. But maybe not Maybe youll make it And one day become famous And be adored both wide and far Just to be pushed further inside Where only you will see The pain and agony Put on by society That is until one day They wake up and find How you truely felt on the inside You had it all So much to live for And no reason to die But now your hanging there Like Robin Williams who never said Good Bye

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Dec 11, 2019

Dec 11, 2019 at 1:04 PM UTC

The Choices of Life

One life Two life Three life Four I thought I knew I plan and pursure But when its almost here The finish line falls And is no where near My college ends my program Now what do I do? Do I start elsewhere Or end my pursuit? The second choice of 42 thousand After talking with them its up to 84 But what about life and living there? Well now its 115 and my hope fades away That cant be impossible There must be a way But after some thoughts I realize the cost Maybe elsewhere, Perhaps more near? Well thosell cost less But wont be the same. Do I drop the thought? Do I end it here? Perhaps theres no need Perhaps theres a way I think and I think More and more About just what to do Because we are poor We arent poor in love or happiness Thats what family and antidepressants are for We arent poor in money either But once experienced Its hard to change We arent rich But we arent poor So why is money Still the deciding factor? School, College, University What ever you call it, its all the same They just want your money And to boost their fame At what expense What do you have to pay? For a modest job you probably wont like Only the 1 in 3 chance of taking your life Perhaps not perhaps youll win the fight That 1 in 3 college students fight. Well if you win and if you fight Now comes the problem of paying for life The debt it gives is so substantial That they lie and say its just circumstantial Perhaps their right Perhaps thats the way Just dont go And regret it for life. But maybe not Maybe youll make it And one day become famous And be adored both wide and far Just to be pushed further inside Where only you will see The pain and agony Put on by society That is until one day They wake up and find How you truely felt on the inside You had it all So much to live for And no reason to die But now your hanging there Like Robin Williams who never said Good Bye

79

You know I feel like **** Not complete **** just **** I also know it's my fault Slowing down on my meds Not stopping Just taking less than perscribed I do it to stay focused It's either Focused and depressed Or happy and all over the place People like me more focused I'm less annoying I'm more bearable But more depressed Luckily Sadly Thankfully They can't see that part It's this or Happy But then I can't focus I get bad grades I annoy and **** people off People don't like me The only person who does is me But why Why do the drugs have to be 1 or the other They cancel each other out So it's focused or depressed Or a little of both I feel like I should be more focused during Lancers [marching band] But then I'm more depressed And while I feel like **** I also feel that I Deserve It I am a better person while depressed I can help those in the same situation better I can help others more If I'm happy It is Not fair I feel like a failure to those I've told about my mental health I told them I'm depressed but then I'm not Am I a liar? Am I a failure? ... Well that one's easy of course I'm a failure either way. When I'm happy I feel like a liar When I'm happy I feel like a liar When I'm happy .... I feel like a liar A ******* discrase Who am I to say I have depression when I'm happy? It's not fair What about all those who don't feel the way I do with the same past When They are on drugs What if they can't get those drugs? How's that ******* fair? How? I want to live But if I live, I hurt If I hurt do I deserve to live? They only care for you when you say your going to **** yourself What about if you aren't there Yet At THAT moment Then what are you? Invisible.... And why are there so many of us so ******* depressed? Just stop it please Give me the pain of everyone and let me suffer by not killing myself But suffering with it while alive To eliminate everyones depression It NEEDS TO END... Please Just stop But not for me For everyone else When I'm happy I feel like a liar. When I'm happy I feel like a liar. When I'm happy I feel like a liar. When I'm happy I feel like a liar. When I'm happy I feel like a liar. When I'm happy I feel like a liar. When I'm happy I feel like a liar. When I'm happy I feel like a liar. Why Why Why Why Why .... .... .... .... .... .... .... ... .. .. .. . what do I do

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Jul 6, 2019

Jul 6, 2019 at 11:10 AM UTC

I don't know

102

Its so full of everything we can imagine Including what we can't There is so much good in the world And in so many forms Charity, feelings, relationships Happiness, love, empathy Donations of all Money, food, clothing, and maybe the most important time Plus so many more People are capable of good in so many ways and things We help those in need we give others a hand when they're down on luck, money or just hope We can heal almost anything that happens And the best part Good breeds more good and makes others want to do mkre good But with the good the bad closly follows The world is filled with just as much bad And in so many ways All forms of violence Gun, verbal, physical, War and killings with genocide and Unethic weapons of mass destruction Government Corrupt people and government Pain Physical and mental Money and greed People are capable of so much evil and bad We **** those just like ourselves We steal and hurt and cheat We take advantage of the ill or incapable We destroy our own world and lives And the worst part all the evil and bad just breed more evil vengeance breeds more vengeance. But in the end what makes me happy will make another angry Theres no way to have the good without the bad or the bad without the good We cant change that fact no matter how hard we want and try So we will remain sad in the sad moments and happy during the happy World peace may be impossible but that doesnt mean happiness is too So when someone helps you, thank them and enjoy that moment And when a friend dies cry, say goodbye and hate that loss But when it all stops and nothing is going on sit there and enjoy the peace because yes you arnt having the best day of your life but at least its not the worst day either. Life is full of things we understand and can imagine thanks to science like engines and rockets,

0

Nov 13, 2018

Nov 13, 2018 at 4:33 PM UTC

Life

Its so full of everything we can imagine Including what we can't There is so much good in the world And in so many forms Charity, feelings, relationships Happiness, love, empathy Donations of all Money, food, clothing, and maybe the most important time Plus so many more People are capable of good in so many ways and things We help those in need we give others a hand when they're down on luck, money or just hope We can heal almost anything that happens And the best part Good breeds more good and makes others want to do mkre good But with the good the bad closly follows The world is filled with just as much bad And in so many ways All forms of violence Gun, verbal, physical, War and killings with genocide and Unethic weapons of mass destruction Government Corrupt people and government Pain Physical and mental Money and greed People are capable of so much evil and bad We **** those just like ourselves We steal and hurt and cheat We take advantage of the ill or incapable We destroy our own world and lives And the worst part all the evil and bad just breed more evil vengeance breeds more vengeance. But in the end what makes me happy will make another angry Theres no way to have the good without the bad or the bad without the good We cant change that fact no matter how hard we want and try So we will remain sad in the sad moments and happy during the happy World peace may be impossible but that doesnt mean happiness is too So when someone helps you, thank them and enjoy that moment And when a friend dies cry, say goodbye and hate that loss But when it all stops and nothing is going on sit there and enjoy the peace because yes you arnt having the best day of your life but at least its not the worst day either. Life is full of things we understand and can imagine thanks to science like engines and rockets,

42

Rest, Sleep, Excersice Drugs, Pills, Therapy A chemical imbalence in the brain My will lost Do others really understand We don't care I know people will be sad I know my family cares I know they will miss me But what about others Others could care less A week later their interest is lost They stop remembering They didn't know you Maybe they did But they dont care BUT I DO! What will crumble What will die What will stop Who will be hurt Who will care Does anyone really care Because if they live What does it matter if I.. I want someone to truely care Not because I'm ****** up in the head But because I exist No matter what you own How much money you have Who you're married to Or dating What you drive Who you're related to What you do It doesnt change the fact that I'm I'm not suicidal I just dont care anymore I just wish the whole world could just disappear And I wish to my hearts disire That everything and everyone could freeze That time would stop Except for me So I could live my life without lives pressure No appointments No expectations No laws or rules No worry about What people are thinking of you I could sit alone with no hastle or rush or time restraints With my thoughts of them and me And what life could be But sooner or time will resume I just wish I could control when Most like me want the same But choose and less sleep Not one they can resume Because stopping time is impossible I guess so is gaining back my will to live I know others are worse And you stab me in the darkest of nights But all I want is someone to listen You attack me when I can sleep Whether its at night or on a bridge All I want is for you to stop but then I feel empty And what's the use of that At least when I'm depressed I feel pain And sorrow but in day to day life All it is is fake smiles and lies That all I am is tired Because with depression and fatigue All you want is the same thing Sleep I just wish for the day I say I'm tired You'll say no your not Lets talk I cry in pain when you walk away But understand you dont understand Many wonder why I'm always so sad but The truth is I'm not I do get little sleep but that doesnt effect me anymore I have to stand there smileing looking down acting Tired as I'm truely just hiding the tears You say oh okay and walk away Its happened a million times Each time it rips off 1 piece of what I'm hanging onto But I only started with 100 1,000,000 to 100 is a huge difference Yes now all they do is rip a piece of nothing but they take it anyways Because thats what people do They take and take and take and take and take and take and take Until you have nothing but then they'll still continue To destroy you and why Because Because is all you'll get from them There's NOT A GOD **** REASON I have asked I have asked a tormentor before Why? He sat there looked down and couldnt come up with A SIGNLE ******* THING Silence is the answer So what is the reason I don't know But what IS the reason Fathers leave their own children Other humans attack other humans physically, verbally and especially mentally People steal money a family in need truely needs People break into peoples houses People attempt suicide People live Live Whats the reason People die People bully or harass People expect A ****** MUSICIAN TO KNOW WHAT THE GOSH FORSAKEN NAME OF A ******* GENERAL OF SOME STUPID WAR THAT HAPPENED 200, 300 YEARS AGO There's flaws in mankind Some accept them Some play neglegence Some try to fix them But in Acceptance theres many ways to accept mankind is mankind Accepting it for what it is Accepting it and moving on Accepting it and providing input Or help Accepting it in death After all thats why we all came here isnt it? To die.

0

Nov 9, 2018

Nov 9, 2018 at 1:57 PM UTC

1-800-273-8255

Rest, Sleep, Excersice Drugs, Pills, Therapy A chemical imbalence in the brain My will lost Do others really understand We don't care I know people will be sad I know my family cares I know they will miss me But what about others Others could care less A week later their interest is lost They stop remembering They didn't know you Maybe they did But they dont care BUT I DO! What will crumble What will die What will stop Who will be hurt Who will care Does anyone really care Because if they live What does it matter if I.. I want someone to truely care Not because I'm ****** up in the head But because I exist No matter what you own How much money you have Who you're married to Or dating What you drive Who you're related to What you do It doesnt change the fact that I'm I'm not suicidal I just dont care anymore I just wish the whole world could just disappear And I wish to my hearts disire That everything and everyone could freeze That time would stop Except for me So I could live my life without lives pressure No appointments No expectations No laws or rules No worry about What people are thinking of you I could sit alone with no hastle or rush or time restraints With my thoughts of them and me And what life could be But sooner or time will resume I just wish I could control when Most like me want the same But choose and less sleep Not one they can resume Because stopping time is impossible I guess so is gaining back my will to live I know others are worse And you stab me in the darkest of nights But all I want is someone to listen You attack me when I can sleep Whether its at night or on a bridge All I want is for you to stop but then I feel empty And what's the use of that At least when I'm depressed I feel pain And sorrow but in day to day life All it is is fake smiles and lies That all I am is tired Because with depression and fatigue All you want is the same thing Sleep I just wish for the day I say I'm tired You'll say no your not Lets talk I cry in pain when you walk away But understand you dont understand Many wonder why I'm always so sad but The truth is I'm not I do get little sleep but that doesnt effect me anymore I have to stand there smileing looking down acting Tired as I'm truely just hiding the tears You say oh okay and walk away Its happened a million times Each time it rips off 1 piece of what I'm hanging onto But I only started with 100 1,000,000 to 100 is a huge difference Yes now all they do is rip a piece of nothing but they take it anyways Because thats what people do They take and take and take and take and take and take and take Until you have nothing but then they'll still continue To destroy you and why Because Because is all you'll get from them There's NOT A GOD **** REASON I have asked I have asked a tormentor before Why? He sat there looked down and couldnt come up with A SIGNLE ******* THING Silence is the answer So what is the reason I don't know But what IS the reason Fathers leave their own children Other humans attack other humans physically, verbally and especially mentally People steal money a family in need truely needs People break into peoples houses People attempt suicide People live Live Whats the reason People die People bully or harass People expect A ****** MUSICIAN TO KNOW WHAT THE GOSH FORSAKEN NAME OF A ******* GENERAL OF SOME STUPID WAR THAT HAPPENED 200, 300 YEARS AGO There's flaws in mankind Some accept them Some play neglegence Some try to fix them But in Acceptance theres many ways to accept mankind is mankind Accepting it for what it is Accepting it and moving on Accepting it and providing input Or help Accepting it in death After all thats why we all came here isnt it? To die.

129

Why I should be happy I think They always say Theres so much to live for I know At least I think I do But I still want it all to end I should be happy But I'm not I mean sometimes I am But not now not at night Not in my head or my thoughts Why cant others see it I just want to disappear Those who bully I hate them But maybe. I hate myself I dont But I do I dont know anymore I say I'm fine But others dont ask So why answer they dont care I constantly think How much better the world and others would be without me But at least I know that I might be a good thing I mean thats what I have to say to myself each night Maybe this world just isnt the right one for me. God wouldnt approve and thats probably the thing that keeps me alive I just want to see the world without me But without me I cant see the world Why is life such a terrible thing Filled with terrible things and terrible corrupt people Why do the dumbest things become popular But why do I feel Nothing I dont feel anything about modern culture Others watch Others laugh Others gain entertainment I watch I think Why is this funny But others are laughing So laugh a little Force a smile Say something they cant know Because if you dont do anything they will feel awkward But my forced laugh, smile, and comment make them feel awkward too Nothing I do will make anyone else happy I may do the right thing I may do a funny thing Others watch me They ignore Someone else does the same or less People cheer or laugh or enjoy it Them feeling happy is good But my lack of ability for something must mean something I dont need to be here I have hurt so many unintentionally By doing what I thought was right Maybe my right is just wrong Maybe I'm just wrong Wrong for this world I dont know But shouldn't I be happy I did amazing things today I play music and march and do things I enjoy But afterwards when all is done All is packed up and quiet All I feel is that I should and cant belong So why try Why do Anything Who the duck cares Clearly no one Just why Why I don't know anymore Just Why

0

Nov 9, 2018

Nov 9, 2018 at 1:54 PM UTC

Why

Why I should be happy I think They always say Theres so much to live for I know At least I think I do But I still want it all to end I should be happy But I'm not I mean sometimes I am But not now not at night Not in my head or my thoughts Why cant others see it I just want to disappear Those who bully I hate them But maybe. I hate myself I dont But I do I dont know anymore I say I'm fine But others dont ask So why answer they dont care I constantly think How much better the world and others would be without me But at least I know that I might be a good thing I mean thats what I have to say to myself each night Maybe this world just isnt the right one for me. God wouldnt approve and thats probably the thing that keeps me alive I just want to see the world without me But without me I cant see the world Why is life such a terrible thing Filled with terrible things and terrible corrupt people Why do the dumbest things become popular But why do I feel Nothing I dont feel anything about modern culture Others watch Others laugh Others gain entertainment I watch I think Why is this funny But others are laughing So laugh a little Force a smile Say something they cant know Because if you dont do anything they will feel awkward But my forced laugh, smile, and comment make them feel awkward too Nothing I do will make anyone else happy I may do the right thing I may do a funny thing Others watch me They ignore Someone else does the same or less People cheer or laugh or enjoy it Them feeling happy is good But my lack of ability for something must mean something I dont need to be here I have hurt so many unintentionally By doing what I thought was right Maybe my right is just wrong Maybe I'm just wrong Wrong for this world I dont know But shouldn't I be happy I did amazing things today I play music and march and do things I enjoy But afterwards when all is done All is packed up and quiet All I feel is that I should and cant belong So why try Why do Anything Who the duck cares Clearly no one Just why Why I don't know anymore Just Why

80

Why is it in our darkest Of times We ask why? Yet in the light we don't? Is it enlightenment Or ignorance In the light we smile Enjoy the moment Embrace the happiness And relize in the moment its the light that matters Therefore are enlightened that that light is why Or is it that we choose to be happy Enjoy the moment And Embrace the happiness while its alive And ignoring the dark Therefore having ignorance towards the idea of why. But whats in the dark that makes us ask why? Maybe enlightenment Maybe ignorance We relize there might be a bigger idea or meaning Strive for knowledge And are enlightened by the thought of why Or maybe we ignore the happy moments Relize its only temporary That in the moment only matters in the moment and after its useless Therefore choose ignorance.

0

Nov 9, 2018

Nov 9, 2018 at 1:53 PM UTC

Darkness

Why is it in our darkest Of times We ask why? Yet in the light we don't? Is it enlightenment Or ignorance In the light we smile Enjoy the moment Embrace the happiness And relize in the moment its the light that matters Therefore are enlightened that that light is why Or is it that we choose to be happy Enjoy the moment And Embrace the happiness while its alive And ignoring the dark Therefore having ignorance towards the idea of why. But whats in the dark that makes us ask why? Maybe enlightenment Maybe ignorance We relize there might be a bigger idea or meaning Strive for knowledge And are enlightened by the thought of why Or maybe we ignore the happy moments Relize its only temporary That in the moment only matters in the moment and after its useless Therefore choose ignorance.

26