I feel deeply
an emotion I hide as I smile sheepishly
a fear that I try to hold somewhat tenderly
and I fall even deeper
a shame I bury as I feign being debonair
a feeling I shut away and ignore
and these I do for I wear a mask or two
or maybe more who's to say the truth
but my favorite is the one I wore with you
who I really am, not even Blue could sleuth
and that's fine
feelings caught between two at a table
a table crowded with beer and ramen
a ramen you told me I'd like, and yeah, I did
and with you
I felt like I was a book, with dog-eared pages
just met, but talked like a ten year friendship
and pasts entwined
and with you
I knew I was a person, albeit broken hearted
not from soulmates lost but lives grieved
because you knew what that hole was
and with you
I'd melt under the stars in your eyes
as you spoke of constellations of your sky
and we sang about a Greek with guile
and with you
I'm a nobody but I felt I had an Odyssey
a trip where you'd have open arms
when others would speak of my heresy
and it's a pity ain't it
I'm going home now and writing with a mind
a mind half asleep running on gas station coffee
but caffeine is caffeine, and love is love.
Jan 19
Jan 19, 2026 at 2:23 AM UTC
I'd breathe, with fear of losing
all this air I've held in
for so long
I'd walk, with fear of flying
away from the ground I cherish
to float 'till I'm missing
I'd gaze, with fear of longing
and nothing looking back
at this insignificant me
I'd build, with fear of breaking
even myself under the cracking
weight of my tinkering
I'd write, with fear of silence
when the scribbles become wordless
only echoing worthlessness
I'd love, with fear of rejection
from expressions told too loudly
and brazenly
I'd live, with fear of death
that comes not from an end of an age
but from the motion stopping
I'd step back, with fear
of being forgotten
and lose the universe
I used as a canvas
to build systems,
write worlds,
inspire lives,
shoot frames...
and finally—
sleep
Jul 14, 2025
Jul 14, 2025 at 4:13 AM UTC
she walks past the threshold
a meaningless spat echoes forever
she went past the horizon
into darkness
but her visage stayed—
a moment held infinity
and red I saw,
raged endlessly
until her image faded
past the horizon
into the darkness
Jul 9, 2025
Jul 9, 2025 at 5:13 AM UTC
I see the stars in the sky—
note their pulls, their pulses, their pace.
I scribble them down in verses,
poems made of wonder and space.
I adventure with elves through dungeons,
craft blueprints in life and in game,
yearning for something like magic—
connection that kindles a name.
So if one day I meet her gaze,
the one that stills quantum waves—
collapses the maybe into now—
I'll finally know what it means
To talk of the stars, together.
To scribble the sky as one.
To quest through the dark and the clever.
To find, at last—
my sun.
Jul 1, 2025
Jul 1, 2025 at 2:47 AM UTC
you told me of who created the cosmos
heaven, earth, both with no breath lost
his right man born 'tween stone worshippers
his teachings bores wisdom within
touch my head on this earth for You
at least 5 times a day,
help my brothers and sisters of god
to be a good man,
what if I only did the latter
and also to those who don't believe in You
does it really matter?
the address the prayers point to?
but it did to you, mom
ordained since birth in His ways
to be good, first and foremost
and I did, just wasn't in His ways
so it's not a detriment, to you
but a commitment, to me
to be good in spite of it
and a compliment, to us
so know you did well
so much so that,
I catch myself thinking,
if even He,
thinks I'm good too.
Jun 30, 2025
Jun 30, 2025 at 3:39 AM UTC
piling up interests in my head
profit or debt to be paid?
too many passions held;
in my heart, more than is said
at least,
it made me malleable
somewhat adaptable
cooked in a crucible
for you I'd rotate my being
shaped like clay to your liking
hundred words for you and only you
conversations askew to you
because I could,
genius, prodigy, golden
followed ideas to the end
give any answers you'd want
reached escape velocity
but I was a frozen revolution
caught in orbit,
still in this city
Jun 29, 2025
Jun 29, 2025 at 4:37 AM UTC
I can't afford to look at my future
so I stare off at my surroundings—
she married through prayers and planning
he flirts and dreams while still studying
she married in the name of God
he jokes about vows over coffee
was it my fault my partner was different?
same Allah, but you couldn’t see it
we resented each other, Mom
can’t you see?
you forbade it, so I hid
I pushed you—and Him—away
I found my own meaning
so if we ever have the conversation
fantastic, no longer phantasmic
you’d know why I wouldn’t marry
Jun 26, 2025
Jun 26, 2025 at 4:37 AM UTC
lost kid in a city so unfamiliar
no map, felt a life unfilial
walks lonesome streets, stretched thin
roams around, wondering dreams within
astonished by the things he ponders
amazed by flying rails and walkways
he saw money exchanged for companionship
and wonders—
is everyone just as alone as he is?
he thinks of tall buildings and money swirling
layers of bureaucracy and numbing workings
but the colorful streets are splashed with
hopes and dreams of silenced peoples
he wishes to educate, to raise kids
but aims for money to support his own
and pressure here builds like a box sealed—
can he withstand it, or choke up,
just to go home again
to a city
familiar to him.
Jun 24, 2025
Jun 24, 2025 at 6:44 AM UTC
who’s to say where potential lays—
your betters?
equals?
is there no way to tell?
is it yourself
in nights reflecting,
with only the ceiling listening,
to reach the dream you're reaching
towards?
towards your future?
or the future you're told of—
by the people you were told off
for not listening to?
when maybe
you just need
to sleep it off.
Jun 23, 2025
Jun 23, 2025 at 1:12 PM UTC
I ask the mirror:
is it art if I need them to look?
Or have I painted hunger
and called it creation?
If a poem blooms
and no eyes rest upon it,
was it still a garden,
or just weeds I whispered into rows?
Do I need applause
or just to not feel invisible?
Is the frame the prison,
or the proof I existed
**
Jun 13, 2025
Jun 13, 2025 at 10:08 AM UTC