What?
Wait, no
Really?
Could it be?
Is it finally happening?
I think it might be
Stay calm
I tell myself
Don’t blow it
You’ll blow it
No I won’t
She’s funny
She’s sweet
She likes what I like
Maybe this
Maybe this is it
I don’t know
I haven’t used the L-word
Not yet
But I feel it
On the tip of my tongue
I want to scream it
I want to say
I love you
But I haven’t
Not yet
I don’t want
To make it weird
So I say the other
Thoughts in my head
I like you
You’re cute
You’re sweet
You’re amazing
But all I want to say is
I
Love
You
Jul 29, 2019
Jul 29, 2019 at 5:11 PM UTC
My skin
It burns
It fries
It boils
And splits
I melt
I want
To stop
To drop
To roll
But I can’t
I can’t
Free myself
From the flames
That engulf
My body
The flames are
My love
My passion
My fear
My anxiety
My need
My desire
I just
Want water
To put out
This fire
That I caused
This fire
That I want
All I need
Is someone
To put out
The flames
You could
Put them out
But I pushed
You away
Because I know
You would
Leave anyway
So I burn
I blaze
Through the night
Night turns
To day
And I
Am nothing
I am
A pile
Of ash
Wishing
I could be
A phoenix
May 9, 2019
May 9, 2019 at 2:26 PM UTC
I want to be a CAPITAL LETTER
I want to be SCREAMED at the world
I want to be SEEN from space
I want to ALWAYS BE FIRST
I want to ALWAYS BE HEARD
I want to ALWAYS BE A LOUD VOICE
I want to be NOTICED
I want to be the START OF SOMETHING
I want to GRAB YOUR ATTENTION
I want to be the HEADLINE
I want to be the ANNOUNCEMENT
I want to STAND OUT
But I just want to be yours
Nov 29, 2018
Nov 29, 2018 at 12:25 PM UTC
It’s a cold wind
Blowing through my sweater
Through my t-shirt
Through my skin
To the bone
It’s a wet cold
The kind you can’t shake off
The kind you think
Will never go away
My teeth would chatter
If it was a real cold
But it’s mental
It’s a pulsing pain
Like a bad bruise
Like a torn muscle
Like how your legs feel
After leg day
At the gym
It’s a burn
Like touching a hot stove
Like running through flames
To save someone
Who was never there
So now you’re on fire
For no reason
It’s a heart attack
But slow
A violent attack
On everything in your heart
On who you love
On what you believe
And you want to die
To stop it
It’s a punch to the face
Breaking teeth
And busting your lip
Now you’re gushing blood
You want to swing back
But you’re the only one there
You fight back the tears
So you won’t look weak
But you’re the only one there
It’s ******
Because you can’t get enough
You know it’s bad
You know it hurts
You know it changes you
And people see it
And it scares them away
But you keep going back
Because you’re addicted.
Nov 29, 2018
Nov 29, 2018 at 10:19 AM UTC
My heart doesn't drop
Like I assumed it would
Like it does when
I see the other girls I like
But you're different
You always have been
I like you
But it's more than that
I think I love you
Because my heart
Doesn't sink
When I see you
Instead it speeds up
And I can feel
The lifeblood
Run through my veins
And I smile
Not a huge grin
But a smile
A smile that shows
The sun has come out
You stop to talk to me
And I never want it to end
I want to walk with you
To wherever you're going
I want to hold your hand
Our fingers intertwined
We would walk
To a picnic table
Set in the bright green grass
With a red checkered cloth
Draped upon it
A basket sits centered
On the heart of the table
A bottle of wine
Its neighbor to the left
We would take our seats
Across from each other
And I would open the wine
And as I pour you a glass
You would say
That you love me
To which I would reply
That I love you too
And that
That little sentence
Those three words
That "I love you"
Fills the sky with light
I don't feel this way
About many people
But there's something different
About you
Something that makes me think
My heart is confused
As it flies instead of sinking
But maybe it's just me
Maybe I'm confused
Because I've never been in love
Not like this
Not where hope runs high
Without any evidence
I guess
I just never felt irrational love
But I guess
I do now
So this is what love feels like?
Oct 17, 2018
Oct 17, 2018 at 10:12 PM UTC
I lost a chance I never had
A wild imagination
Running free in a field of over-confidence
Jumping the streams of unconscious denial
Climbing the mountain of my insecurities
A mirage of hope is a desert
I stop to catch my breath
As I try to capture the chance
But it escapes my grasp
Time after time
All I ever wanted was a chance
But all I ever got
Was a dream
Oct 16, 2018
Oct 16, 2018 at 9:27 AM UTC
This shouldn't be a goodbye
But more a farewell
But not a farewell
Maybe a see you later
You saved me from myself
And taught me how to thrive
Without you I don't know
Where I'd be
With your help
I'm free and loved
I will never forget
Our times bumping music
Rap
To EDM
To alt rock
To even my favorite songs
That one time
Outside our dorm
There were the parties
There were the failures
And the successes
The losses
And the wins
You shielded me from evil
Without covering my eyes to it
I can't explain how
You changed my life
You made me see
I am not the devil
I am no demon
I deserve to live
To be loved
There was that night
Do you remember that night
I laugh and I laugh
At how I fell
Into the bushes
And I knew you would pull me up
Like you do every time I fall
I can't be mad at you
I can't because I know
That you've done more for me
Than I can repay
Crushing drinks
Eating pizza
Lighting my room
With strips of color
I can't list off
How you helped me
Feel normal
I'm not made fun of
Because I'm not the outcast
Instead I'm that guy
With a few savage comments
And a quirky sense of humor
Instead of a bad sense
From my darkest hour
You reached into the dark
And pulled me free
Inch by inch
Day by day
Success by success
Win by win
One by one
When you told me
Not to look back
One year
Or two
Or five
Not to see the evil
Of my past
But instead to see
The beauty of my future
And as you go off
To real life
You need to know
What I have to say
Before you go to war
You need to hear
These words
You are my brother
You are my friend
You are my hero
You are my green light
You are my starting line
You are my finish line
My goal
I want you to know
That the world
Will change
As will we
But I will never forget
What you've done for me
And although you're not a fan of him
I have to quote Jon Bon Jovi
He says:
"This isn't how the story ends
My friends it's just a fork along the road
Don't say your prayers
Say your amens
You've come this far
But you're still far from home
Don't say goodbye
Just say farewell
Write every line
You'll live to tell
Hold your head high
Like Harry
Give 'em hell"
He knows
What I want to tell you
Because I can't be you
For you
But I can try
To guide you
To stay you
To stay true
To the values
You put in me
For one day
I will see the karma
As you become a millionaire
And find love
And you'll look back
And know that I've been wishing
For this upon you
Because of all you did
For me
Thank you
Apr 10, 2018
Apr 10, 2018 at 11:31 AM UTC
I before E
But not in weird
I over E
Intelligence over emotion
But not in me
I'm weird
I'm a mess
My thoughts are
Me as a different person
Looking into the distance
trying to see myself as
Normal
Normal isn't a thing
It's not real
At least that's
What they say
When I beg
To be normal
But I'm weird
I'm strange
I'm a stranger to
Those I love
And those I want to
Please don't leave
Please forgive me
For being
So
So
Very
Weird
Feb 26, 2018
Feb 26, 2018 at 7:14 PM UTC
I’ve said it before
I’ll say it here again
I wear a bug spray
That only works
On butterflies
I want to be a flower
But all I get is bees
I get stung
And I back away
I am approached
By cockroaches
Everyday
Every Year
Trying to gain from me
I attract mosquitos
Bloodsucking parasites
I have these people
Who want me
To do what they want
Then they leave
My lifeblood
My friendship
Gone forever
With my time
I want to swat
Those mosquitos
And crush them
Before they can leave
Someday I will
Get rid of this spray
At least that’s
What all my friends say
But I don’t know
The spray is permanent
Maybe I’m cursed
Or maybe I just need
A bath
In the water of friendship
And to fly with
My dragonfly
My wingman
And maybe
My friend
Feb 20, 2018
Feb 20, 2018 at 10:26 AM UTC
It's been too long
Since I saw your face
It's been too long
Since I told you
I love you
But would you hear me
If I said it again?
It's been too long
Since I sang to you
I hugged you
I kissed you
I loved you
It's been too long
Since I said
I need you
It's been too long
Since I let you know
I see you
And I fall in love
It's been too long
Since I wrote that song
Outside the school
About rain
But in the sun
It's been too long
Since love could see
All you mean
It's been too long
Since I lay my head
On your shoulder
And imagined
Wedding bells
Singing our love
As I kiss you
And promise
I am yours
Forever
It's been too long
Since I could slip
A love letter
Into your backpack
One that says
What Jon Bon Jovi
Says about love
"Love isn't a merry-go-round
It's a roller coaster"
It's been too long
Since I rode
That roller coaster
The ups are
Worth the downs
It's been too long
Since we were us
Like the new single
From Bon Jovi
Three days
After your birthday
you are just barely
Twenty-one
It's been too long
Since we were us
It's been too long
Since I had love
It's been too long
Since life was good
It's been too long
Since I had the love
Of the perfect person
Like a click
Of a puzzle
As you complete
Me
Feb 20, 2018
Feb 20, 2018 at 10:21 AM UTC