Promises stitched carefully
Like an old worn out quilt
sewn only to soothe
all your mountains of guilt
You'll never quite know
about that empty scorn
'cause you weren't around
when my insanity was born
You were meant to come see us
but you never did
by the time you show up
I'll think- Too little to late
It took some time
to warm up to the thought
that this man was my dad
Who hoped love could be bought
I'm not saying,
that I loved you any less
it was wondering if you really still cared
That I was left just to guess
I wanted to forgive you
In hopes that you'd see
that left back in your shadows
was a broken, unwanted me
I was left with an image
of a girl on daddy's lap
That would one day grow up
to take another man's crap
You missed a few birthdays,
A Christmas or two
But what really went missing
was the father in you
You were always distracted
when we talked on the phone,
I was part of that old life,
you wish went unknown
Yes, you are my father
that now I don't know
The time keeps ticking,
as your daughter's grow
You keep running away,
keep turning your head
Oblivious to all the tears
on my bed that I've shed
I'll stay left behind
in the life that wasn't good enough for you,
Yes, you are my father
Just not the one that I knew.
Dec 17, 2018
Dec 17, 2018 at 9:38 AM UTC
On that day which caused my voice to disappear,
All those around me rejoiced and had a feast, celebrating this moment
The words I say brought people tremor, fear or just pure hatred,
Everyone hated them the moment I moved my lips to convey along side them in hope to find someone who could become even a friend.
I was of course wrong all along, deserted for the reason that they found what I said in some sense weird or obscure, maybe irrational,
Was it my means or my purpose that scared them away ?
My looks or my style of conveying to appear more likable to them ?
In the end it didn't even matter for a second, as their false smiles carried the message of their fake friendship and intentions.
Maybe now that I won't have to converse with sound any further, those words of mine might reach someones heart and touch it instead,
But that is simply a distant dream, because everyone hates the words I say, perhaps it is meaningless to seek meaning in my useless self,
All I can do now is to heave in sobs,
Left behind, I can no longer even cry.
Dec 17, 2018
Dec 17, 2018 at 8:44 AM UTC
i want you,
in every way there is to want a person.
from lazy rainy days
sitting around in underwear,
wrapped up in the covers
enveloped in each other.
to lustful late nights
high happy and in love,
too absorbed with each other
to focus on anything else.
i want you.
and i see so much in you
that counting all your perfections
would be like counting the stars,
there's too many to keep track of
and they just seem endless.
i am utterly in love
with every inch of your being,
every corner of your mind
and everything in between
i might not know what i believe
or where i'm going
or what i'm doing,
but i do hope
you'll hold my hand
and wander blindly with me.
because as long as i'm with you
i don't need a destination,
you are the journey.
i am simply enamored with your entity,
captivated by your character,
fascinated
infatuated
amorous
in love.
Jun 14, 2018
Jun 14, 2018 at 12:02 PM UTC
My tired mind drifts off to thoughts of you,
And I feel like a prisoner escaping from a deserted island.
Holding hands with you,
Gives me the feeling of being a ray of sunlight making its way through thick canopies and finally kissing the ground.
Your smile casts upon me a spell of enchantment,
As if we were angels romancing in the skies over the fluff of ethereal clouds.
You send my heart to raptures when you embrace me,
And I feel as vibrant as the colour of the sky right before sunset.
Your tender kisses are poems on love,
Your lips: subtle metaphors, your dimples: extraordinary similes, your stubble is a hint of alliteration here and there.
And our love is eternal...
Feb 22, 2018
Feb 22, 2018 at 6:33 PM UTC
Isn't it funny,
How we can meet a person
That changes our life instantly?
Everything is reborn and improved
Just by hearing their sweet name
For the very first time…
When that person looks into your eyes,
They are no longer your eyes.
They are portals that have opened,
Exposing every bit and piece of you,
Letting them see your soul.
You’re scared, but you can’t look away,
Because their irises are the brightest color…
And just grasping that moment,
It makes you catch your breath.
The hurt of your past vanishes into thin air
Because you are incapable of remembering
Anything prior to that exact second.
Then, they smile at you for the first time,
You feel your heart soar above the clouds
Because it is the most beautiful work of art
You have ever seen chiseled into a human face,
Unreal, almost, the only thing still holding
Your feet to the ground are those eyes.
Yes, those eyes become your anchor, because
You’re not prepared for the melodic sound
Of their laughter ringing in your ears.
And you want to take back all the hurt and tears,
Turning it into something beautifully magnificent,
So that there’s nothing left but love in your heart
For you to give this person.
Surprisingly, your mouth forms a few words
To say to this person, although your brain cannot
Form any thought other than, “This is it.”
And now, you finally know,
Love At First Sight does exist.
Feb 22, 2018
Feb 22, 2018 at 8:25 AM UTC
The way she smiles,
The way she laughs,
Beauty is in everything she does.
She's a tender flower
Needed to be nourished,
Her eyes are the ocean
Telling a beautiful story each day.
Her lips are petals
Like of rose,
Soft and tender...
Her smile, her eyes, her laugh
Beauty is in everything she does.
When she cares,
It feels special...
When she talks,
It's so very different.
She herself is an entire miracle...
Because the way she smiles,
The way she laughs,
Beauty is in everything she does.
Jun 5, 2017
Jun 5, 2017 at 3:56 PM UTC
I know it's wrong
but all I want
is for you to lie to me.
I know it's wrong
but all I want
is to hear you say 'I love you'
once more.
I know it's wrong
but all I want
is for you to say it was all a joke
and that you don't want to be
'just friends'.
I know it's wrong
but all I want
is to be yours,
once again.
I know it's wrong
but all I want
is to hear you lie to my face
and say you want to be mine (again) as well.
Jun 5, 2017
Jun 5, 2017 at 3:49 PM UTC
I’m sorry you lost your happy thought,
And forgot your reason to fly.
I’m sorry you lost your happy thought,
And remembered only reasons to cry.
I’m sorry you lost your happy thought,
While filling the world with laughs.
I’m sorry you lost your happy thought,
While we all thought it would last.
I’m sorry you lost your happy thought,
And struggled each day to fight.
I’m sorry you lost your happy thought,
While you labored to hold onto light.
I’m sorry you lost your happy thought,
And felt alone while surrounded by friends.
I’m sorry you lost your happy thought,
And prayed for it all to come to an end.
I’m sorry you lost your happy thought,
While your family stood by and watched.
I’m sorry you lost your happy thought,
And felt like your life was so botched.
I’m sorry you lost your happy thought,
And that I couldn’t make you less alone.
I’m sorry you lost your happy thought,
But how could anyone have known?
I’m sorry that words seem so meager,
And will never be able to replace,
The laughs you shared and all that joy,
And the smile upon your face,
And if there is a single thing,
That could be wished or taught,
I would wish and teach every single soul,
To never lose their happy thought.
Mar 15, 2017
Mar 15, 2017 at 4:21 PM UTC
Dear Adults,
I hate it when you look down on those of us in high school,
As if there's some sort of unspoken rule
That the time we spend in such a place
Is supposed to be sublime.
"Stop complaining."
I'm sorry, I assumed that when you asked about my day
I wasn't supposed to mask what I say
And tell you that everything is swell.
To what extent will you dismiss my discontent
Toward the discipline with hardly any discipline nowadays?
"You'll miss it. Just wait until you get into the real world."
The "real world"?
Why, suddenly, is my world not real enough for you?
From all I've been through in my life,
High school has presented me with the most strife, and so
Since when is a bit of resentment
Unjustified?
The nerve you pride
Yourself in having, presuming
That there is any amount of artificiality in my reality
Is infuriatingly consuming.
How can you think we could make any sense
Of the difficulties surrounding anything but what we've experienced?
This I cannot comprehend.
But maybe you want us to pretend?
"How was school today?"
Oh, it was okay.
I only dealt with misunderstanding,
The pressure of classes being so demanding,
The difficulty of self consciousness
That is amplified each day by bullies' relentlessness.
I only endured mental exhaustion
From switching subjects each hour, without option.
I simply struggled with your expectation
That colleges should long to give me an invitation,
Even though I'm being forced to commit to
A life plan I've made based off the little I've been through.
School is a privilege, we know,
Yet, so is possessing a job.
So why, then, am I a snob,
When you're allowed to 'complain'?
I realise that life could be much worse for me,
And someday high school might seem like a breeze,
But until the day comes when I become aware
That the troubles of high school cannot compare,
Let me have my time to vent, please.
Feb 19, 2017
Feb 19, 2017 at 8:56 AM UTC
My heartbeat feels like it is going a thousand times faster than it should be able to go.
It’s like a race car zooming around a corner, able to crash at any moment.
My hands tremble uncontrollably, like two tiny earthquakes set into my skin.
My palms are cold and clammy.
My face burns with the heat of a hundred fires right below the surface, heating my face and glowing it red.
There is a net in my throat, catching all the air I try to breathe.
I feel as if everyone is waiting for me to make a mistake,
To fall into their waiting, open jaws
My voice shakes when I speak.
The words barely slide out, and they sound clunky and sharp in my mouth.
I stutter, the darkest cloud on a rainy day.
I feel as though I’m melting with embarrassment and have to pinch myself to make sure I am still there.
I feel weak with the pressure of people’s eyes weighing me down.
I’m not sure what is happening around me.
The words that come out are prepared and stiff, like microwaved meals, slightly soggy and yet good enough.
By the time it’s over I’m not sure what truly happened
My actions forgotten, my words forgotten, to me and those around me
My wrongdoings and mistakes are forgotten in a whirlwind of mist to those around me
Those preoccupied with their own troubles and sorrows, their own prepared words, some like gourmet meals
But my mistakes stick out to me
A siren is going off in my head
You stuttered, you said um too much, you went too quickly, you didn’t pause enough, you didn’t look up and the people sitting before you, you sounded like robot without emotion or feeling, you messed up
My heartbeat, still beating like a drum, doesn’t falter its fast rhythm
My hands still shake
My palms are still cold and clammy
My face still feels hot and flushed
The sirens still go off in my head
And yet somehow I feel slightly more at ease
Feb 14, 2017
Feb 14, 2017 at 5:22 AM UTC