LifelessKnights - Hello Poetry

Darling, you wear your sadness so well. I wish it would rain every day so I could constantly witness the way your cheeks glow with the tears falling from your eyes or the thunder of your voice as you sob through the night. I love the way your brain tosses and turns and rummages inside your skull picking at old threads and littered notes. I just hate cleaning up after a rampaging storm.

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Apr 4, 2018

Apr 4, 2018 at 4:45 PM UTC

Pathetic Fallacy

Darling, you wear your sadness so well. I wish it would rain every day so I could constantly witness the way your cheeks glow with the tears falling from your eyes or the thunder of your voice as you sob through the night. I love the way your brain tosses and turns and rummages inside your skull picking at old threads and littered notes. I just hate cleaning up after a rampaging storm.

11

Whisper in my ear -sweet velvety verbatim. Caress my thoughts -rose-petal fingertips. Comfort me.

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Dec 26, 2016

Dec 26, 2016 at 11:08 PM UTC

5:32 am

Whisper in my ear -sweet velvety verbatim. Caress my thoughts -rose-petal fingertips. Comfort me.

5

The poison is in all of us: Half-smoked cigarettes lay on the side of grainy gravel paths, crinkly Dollarama bags and glass beer bottles. We relax on trees leaning backs against the braille texture of bark that tries to speak to us in a language we don’t understand. We lean back and raise our faces towards the sunlight dancing between the leaves of the canopy, listening to the tires whizzing against concrete, but think it similar to the smacking of waves against stones; lean back and savour the syrupy smell of maple trees against our tongues, thinking to ourselves how grateful we are for nature as we sit in a paradise of tall trees their branches intertwined in a space smaller than bathroom stalls; lean back and breathe in exhaust and cigarette smoke masked behind a layer of sweet antiperspirants and coconut-scented shampoos as the wind whips hair against your face. We take peaceful naps against the undeciphered braille, but the poison is in all of us and one day this paradise will become nothing. A bed of dirt blanketed by prickly store-bought strips of grass.

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Jun 30, 2016

Jun 30, 2016 at 8:24 PM UTC

Weeds

The poison is in all of us: Half-smoked cigarettes lay on the side of grainy gravel paths, crinkly Dollarama bags and glass beer bottles. We relax on trees leaning backs against the braille texture of bark that tries to speak to us in a language we don’t understand. We lean back and raise our faces towards the sunlight dancing between the leaves of the canopy, listening to the tires whizzing against concrete, but think it similar to the smacking of waves against stones; lean back and savour the syrupy smell of maple trees against our tongues, thinking to ourselves how grateful we are for nature as we sit in a paradise of tall trees their branches intertwined in a space smaller than bathroom stalls; lean back and breathe in exhaust and cigarette smoke masked behind a layer of sweet antiperspirants and coconut-scented shampoos as the wind whips hair against your face. We take peaceful naps against the undeciphered braille, but the poison is in all of us and one day this paradise will become nothing. A bed of dirt blanketed by prickly store-bought strips of grass.

32

Fingers through grass, Green. Stained against flesh, Guilty. The water will never wash away your crimes. Rip it from the earth, dirt against skin, Brown, Mud, Crusting. The water will never wash away the sin, Forever marked against your Pale Plaster Skin.

0

Apr 29, 2016

Apr 29, 2016 at 9:07 PM UTC

Laundromat Dilemmas

Fingers through grass, Green. Stained against flesh, Guilty. The water will never wash away your crimes. Rip it from the earth, dirt against skin, Brown, Mud, Crusting. The water will never wash away the sin, Forever marked against your Pale Plaster Skin.

18

I envy you, You, who has their future all planned out between the pages of the calendar that’s been hanging on your wall since December 31st, changing every year with no delay because you already know all the important dates. I envy you, You, who has a dream, the same dream you’ve had since childhood that’s changed or been tweaked maybe once or twice but that always becomes clearer. I envy you, You, who understands yourself and who knows who ‘you’ are, who understands your passions and who knows what you want. I envy you, You, who knows what happiness is like, and who has felt true sadness and despair only a handful of times, but who knows how to deal with it and knows why it comes by. I envy you, While I sit here surrounded by my sadness, getting a glimpse of joy maybe once over the weekend and another if I wake up for sunrise. While I sit here not knowing who ‘I’ am or what I love or the emotions I feel. While I sit here without a dream in mind, without a goal that I can run toward Only sitting in a dark empty field with no calendar in sight because thinking about the days that pass makes me feel empty inside. So instead I sit here on this bus full of people that feels so empty and bleak. While the fog from outside clings to the windows and blurs the thoughts in my mind, thinking about ‘you’ and my envy so green and so vast it could be mistaken for a meadow filled with grass. I think about how I would trade my life for yours. But my mind disapproves because then I would be even less like the ‘me’ than I believe myself to be. I know who I am because of the emptiness I have and for now it’s enough and that’s all I need. So instead I will sit here and think of the many reasons why I envy you.

0

Mar 18, 2016

Mar 18, 2016 at 7:27 PM UTC

Grass

I envy you, You, who has their future all planned out between the pages of the calendar that’s been hanging on your wall since December 31st, changing every year with no delay because you already know all the important dates. I envy you, You, who has a dream, the same dream you’ve had since childhood that’s changed or been tweaked maybe once or twice but that always becomes clearer. I envy you, You, who understands yourself and who knows who ‘you’ are, who understands your passions and who knows what you want. I envy you, You, who knows what happiness is like, and who has felt true sadness and despair only a handful of times, but who knows how to deal with it and knows why it comes by. I envy you, While I sit here surrounded by my sadness, getting a glimpse of joy maybe once over the weekend and another if I wake up for sunrise. While I sit here not knowing who ‘I’ am or what I love or the emotions I feel. While I sit here without a dream in mind, without a goal that I can run toward Only sitting in a dark empty field with no calendar in sight because thinking about the days that pass makes me feel empty inside. So instead I sit here on this bus full of people that feels so empty and bleak. While the fog from outside clings to the windows and blurs the thoughts in my mind, thinking about ‘you’ and my envy so green and so vast it could be mistaken for a meadow filled with grass. I think about how I would trade my life for yours. But my mind disapproves because then I would be even less like the ‘me’ than I believe myself to be. I know who I am because of the emptiness I have and for now it’s enough and that’s all I need. So instead I will sit here and think of the many reasons why I envy you.

68

I need to find a place Where I can scream so loud My lungs will sting, Where the darkness arises And swallows me whole, Where the wind will embrace me And hide me away, And comfort me, And whisper words that no other could, And let me fall asleep in its dark and calming hold.

0

Mar 3, 2016

Mar 3, 2016 at 11:54 AM UTC

Sanctuary

I need to find a place Where I can scream so loud My lungs will sting, Where the darkness arises And swallows me whole, Where the wind will embrace me And hide me away, And comfort me, And whisper words that no other could, And let me fall asleep in its dark and calming hold.

10

Zombie Zombie, Walking through life Blindly, Aimlessly, Empty Empty, Feeling nothing at all, Mind thoughtless, Blank, Like the chalkboards Rendered useless By the projector And the small screen In your hand. Don't bother me, Don't say a word. It goes in one ear And out the other. The passage simplified By an empty canal, A boat waiting for your words To be carried across, To be left unprocessed. Staring blankly out the windows Whizzing, Unmoving, Landscape, Portraits Of youth outside Laughing, Foolish. You come to me with Arms wide open, But The only arms I want To hold me are the Outstretched arms of my warm Welcoming bed That will hold me forever Like the dirt Embracing the dead In a coffin, Like a zombie.

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Feb 7, 2016

Feb 7, 2016 at 12:23 AM UTC

Undead

Zombie Zombie, Walking through life Blindly, Aimlessly, Empty Empty, Feeling nothing at all, Mind thoughtless, Blank, Like the chalkboards Rendered useless By the projector And the small screen In your hand. Don't bother me, Don't say a word. It goes in one ear And out the other. The passage simplified By an empty canal, A boat waiting for your words To be carried across, To be left unprocessed. Staring blankly out the windows Whizzing, Unmoving, Landscape, Portraits Of youth outside Laughing, Foolish. You come to me with Arms wide open, But The only arms I want To hold me are the Outstretched arms of my warm Welcoming bed That will hold me forever Like the dirt Embracing the dead In a coffin, Like a zombie.

44

I keep falling In and out Of sadness. Will the cycle Never End? Will I constantly Have to deal With these Emotions? With these little Whispers That won’t let Me think clearly? These whispers that Won’t let me sleep? These whispers That make Me want to Stay in bed until the time for bed comes around again? These heavy Thoughts Keep me pushed Against the mattress, Sagging, Like the teddy bear Staring at me From the ground Near my bed, Where I’d thrown it once But I felt so weak That the bear didn’t go very Far. It sits there Staring at me With it’s blank eyes That I’d coloured in With a black Sharpie Childhoods ago When their colour started to Fade. Now their darkness Pulls me in And drags me into Another cycle of Depression. I’m trapped again In this colourless void Where I float in the Centre Of my mind Feeling nothing Seeing nothing Being nothing.

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Feb 1, 2016

Feb 1, 2016 at 1:06 PM UTC

Cycles

I keep falling In and out Of sadness. Will the cycle Never End? Will I constantly Have to deal With these Emotions? With these little Whispers That won’t let Me think clearly? These whispers that Won’t let me sleep? These whispers That make Me want to Stay in bed until the time for bed comes around again? These heavy Thoughts Keep me pushed Against the mattress, Sagging, Like the teddy bear Staring at me From the ground Near my bed, Where I’d thrown it once But I felt so weak That the bear didn’t go very Far. It sits there Staring at me With it’s blank eyes That I’d coloured in With a black Sharpie Childhoods ago When their colour started to Fade. Now their darkness Pulls me in And drags me into Another cycle of Depression. I’m trapped again In this colourless void Where I float in the Centre Of my mind Feeling nothing Seeing nothing Being nothing.

59

Do you ever wish  The bus ride would never end,  So you could continue   To stare blankly   At the boring  Bland  Scenery passing by  On the other side  Of the horrid scratched up  window  And not have to deal  With all the ******  Depressing  Empty  Thoughts  in your mind  That contemplate   Everything  and Nothing  All at once ?  Because,  Right now , I certainly don’t want this  boring   Quiet bus ride to end.  It’s much better than the   Noisy  Tedious   Thoughts that keep  flitting through my brain.

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Jan 27, 2016

Jan 27, 2016 at 1:24 PM UTC

Thoughtless Thoughts

Do you ever wish  The bus ride would never end,  So you could continue   To stare blankly   At the boring  Bland  Scenery passing by  On the other side  Of the horrid scratched up  window  And not have to deal  With all the ******  Depressing  Empty  Thoughts  in your mind  That contemplate   Everything  and Nothing  All at once ?  Because,  Right now , I certainly don’t want this  boring   Quiet bus ride to end.  It’s much better than the   Noisy  Tedious   Thoughts that keep  flitting through my brain.

42

I bare such useless emotions: Sadness, Loneliness, Annoyance, Jealousy, Boredom, Emptiness, This terrible feeling that I’m feeling right now, This feeling that wants to rip me apart, This feeling that’s clawing at me, Tearing me to pieces, Pulling at my flesh, Pulling at my skin, Pulling at my bones, Trying to break me . My soul wants an escape from this Terrible Useless Useless Useless Prison that holds it captive.

0

Jan 13, 2016

Jan 13, 2016 at 12:05 PM UTC

Prison

I bare such useless emotions: Sadness, Loneliness, Annoyance, Jealousy, Boredom, Emptiness, This terrible feeling that I’m feeling right now, This feeling that wants to rip me apart, This feeling that’s clawing at me, Tearing me to pieces, Pulling at my flesh, Pulling at my skin, Pulling at my bones, Trying to break me . My soul wants an escape from this Terrible Useless Useless Useless Prison that holds it captive.

21