Distress fills me as my throat threatens to spew.
Terror thickens where my breath should be.
My life isn't mine anymore; it belongs to this phobia. It feels like a permanent constriction in my throat that I can't swallow past.
Caught between a cold sweat and a hot panic, I fixate on the narrowest point—the desperate, iron grip I keep on my own throat.
Feb 5
Feb 5, 2026 at 11:25 AM UTC
This incessant, aching state of being unwell touches base me.
The clinic charts read, 'perfect health.'
My loved ones call me blind.
When I know my vessel is saying it's in different circumstances
I am sick.
But not considered sick enough.
Nov 15, 2025
Nov 15, 2025 at 12:16 PM UTC
My mothers eyes are always steady on me.
Her eyes, a silent plea for a grandbaby, rest heavily on mine.
A constant reminder of what she wants.
She asks for something my heart denies.
I feel shame every time I deny something she so desperately wants
Every time I deny I swallow shame.
Knowing I am not the one to ask for what she wants.
I only wonder if her dissatisfied gaze is disappointing when I say no.
My womb remains stone against the tide of her desperate want.
Nov 13, 2025
Nov 13, 2025 at 12:16 PM UTC