I find myself lost in a river of emotions,
With no life jacket, no raft,
Just me,
Water up to my neck,
Drowning on the inside where nobody can see,
I put a smile on my face and act as if everything is ok,
But all I do is wait patiently,
For someone to save me from these crashing waves,
The longer I stay here,
I drift further and further away,
The bed I made was a river,
I had no intentions to stay,
I guess that’s what happens when you pretend and put on a show,
But the truth is out,
Now everyone knows.
Jan 1, 2019
Jan 1, 2019 at 10:26 AM UTC
Here we are again
Doing the same **** that we used to
My heart has been broken, my love has been stolen, really all the **** that I’m used to
Trying to fix what’s been long broken
You want me to believe that things on’t be how they used to
But I don’t feel how I used to
I don’t love you like I used to
I don’t believe in you like I used to
I don’t crave you like I used to
I don’t look forward to us like I used to
Cause I know after while it’ll just be what I’m used to
I don’t know how to get you to understand
That this isn’t the me you are used to
I have standards, more emotions and boundaries, more value than you are used to
I don’t want to get comfortable to what I’m used to
Being used to has gotten me no where
But dealing with **** that I’m used to.
Jan 1, 2019
Jan 1, 2019 at 10:24 AM UTC
A new start a new life
Something to make me smile
Something to erase all this pain
Something really worth my while
I truly hope you find me
And when you do I’ll be standing right here waiting for you
You need me just like I need you
So don’t deprive yourself of a love that could be so true
Let’s put our past behind us and learn from our mistakes
Because we know without love you really only attract snakes.
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 12:12 PM UTC
I find myself lost in a river of emotions,
With no life jacket, no raft,
Just me,
Water up to my neck,
Drowning on the inside where nobody can see,
I put a smile on my face and act as if everything is ok,
But all I do is wait patiently,
For someone to save me from these waves of ways crashing against my face,
The longer I stay here,
I drift further and further away,
The bed I made was a river,
I had no intentions to stay,
I guess that’s what happens when you pretend and put in a show,
But the truth is out,
Now everyone knows
Nov 24, 2018
Nov 24, 2018 at 3:40 AM UTC
I never knew the hate and jealousy was so real,
Now not knowing what to listen to, what to think or how to feel,
The light that lives inside me burns with purpose,
Maybe theirs would too,
if they actually protected their vibe,
Changed the people they hang with,
you know,
really found their tribe,
I’ve heard the words of family, the lies spewed through their teeth,
All because they couldn’t be little ol me,
Fake smiles, I love you’s, and walking contradictions,
They didn’t think I’d see the truth that the whole time I’ve been missing,
It’s not love, it’s jealousy and greed,
When they thought I wasn’t looking they sowed a seed,
Ignorantly not knowing what they do,
Cause, Everything you send out comes right back to you,
The darkness I have endured, they thought no one would ever know,
But The veil has been lifted,
now everyone can enjoy the show
Oct 29, 2018
Oct 29, 2018 at 1:58 AM UTC
A mother’s prayer begins the day the negative turns into a plus,
Every prayer a mother releases into the universe is no longer for herself,
but for the seedlings that will one day sprout into her garden,
A mother that prays , prays for love, protection, and good health,
Coming from where I'm from,
We have to pray a little more and a whole lot harder,
I pray these people give my babies a chance,
Spare them from the ak47 and ar15 that they love so much,
Spare them from negative connotations,
Spare them from being another statistic,
Spare them from the hate,
Spare them from the fear,
Let them wake up in the morning to a new day,
Let them shine like the sun in the sky,
Let them live like their is no tomorrow,
Allow them to laugh so deeply that it hurts ,
Allow them to be your source of light,
Allow them to inspire and change the world,
Protect their big lips, unruly hair, and chocolate skin,
Protect their innocence,
Protect them from the hidden devils that have been placed on this earth,
Protect them every second, every minute, every hour
Give them strength to overcome,
Give them understanding to the circumstances they have been born into,
Give them knowledge to distinguish the real,
I can not protect my children,
I can not stop the plan,
I can not write a life of love and happiness for them,
So I ask the people of this world to not put any more pressure upon there already ridden backs,
For I am a mother who prays.
Oct 13, 2018
Oct 13, 2018 at 12:14 PM UTC
You ask me how my day is,
I tell you it’s been rough,
Today was not one of my best days,
I broke down and cried,
I want so much for myself and my family,
But everything just keeps going to ****
Don’t worry you say,
But how can I not,
Cause soon as things get hard you take it out on me,
**** is terrifying,
I want to live with ease,
This is just wrong
Oct 13, 2018
Oct 13, 2018 at 12:06 PM UTC
I’m scared to show you anymore of me,
You looked me in my eyes and made me believe a lie,
A lie to me that felt so true,
Now I’m supposed to believe that this time things will be any different,
I hate that you broke us,
I want to forgive but my mind keeps going back to that morning,
To that hour, when my whole reality shattered,
What did you expect,
Did you think that I would forgive you and love you the same?
I have a good heart you say,
You picked me out of all the girls in your world,
I was nothing more than your mere prey,
Ah, yes I can use and abuse this one,
You know all the **** everybody else has done to me,
I’ll do it to her because I was strong enough to survive,
So she will survive too you see ,
But you were a little too dumb to recognize,
That all the love you taught me to give myself,
You could never repay it x3
Oct 11, 2018
Oct 11, 2018 at 10:55 PM UTC
If I want to **** another man,
That’s what I’ll do,
He will love me better than you ever could and you know it’s true,
I gave you my heart and you crushed it in your hand,
But now I’m supposed to give a **** about how you feel,
All while you never kept it real,
So if he wants to wine and dine,
Show me the world and so much more,
You know it will only be a minute before my ******* hit the floor,
***** wet, and gushing just like how it used to for you,
I’ll let him have his way because this ain’t what I’m used to,
I deserve to be worshipped like the queen I am,
Your friends even know this,
Be careful who you tell your business too,
Cause your boy been waiting to see what this ***** do,
So when you see us know that’s me,
Because he saw the beauty you choose not to see.
Oct 2, 2018
Oct 2, 2018 at 9:28 PM UTC