Kwrites - Hello Poetry

I used to see the world in shades of black and blue. Like the imprint of hands, like the image of my bruised skin. The flashes of pain, blindingly white behind my eyelids, shut tight. I shut my eyes as tightly as you gripped my wrist. Trying to block out the pain, as you tugged me along. My eyes were still ******* shut when you slammed my head against the picture frame, cracking in tandem with my broken heart. I remember hot breath on my neck, whispering. "You're mine" is supposed to be endearing, right? You love me you love me you loved me, right?

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Nov 21, 2019

Nov 21, 2019 at 6:51 PM UTC

is it abuse if he says he loves you?

I used to see the world in shades of black and blue. Like the imprint of hands, like the image of my bruised skin. The flashes of pain, blindingly white behind my eyelids, shut tight. I shut my eyes as tightly as you gripped my wrist. Trying to block out the pain, as you tugged me along. My eyes were still ******* shut when you slammed my head against the picture frame, cracking in tandem with my broken heart. I remember hot breath on my neck, whispering. "You're mine" is supposed to be endearing, right? You love me you love me you loved me, right?

24

I keep breaking myself into pieces and giving them away. I’ll fade away little by little, becoming smaller every day. I fix and fill each little hole. I cure them eventually, and it doesn’t matter what they stole. As long as they are happy, who cares how I feel? As long as they aren’t broken, I’ll bear wounds that time won’t heal.

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Nov 1, 2019

Nov 1, 2019 at 9:02 PM UTC

paper doll

I keep breaking myself into pieces and giving them away. I’ll fade away little by little, becoming smaller every day. I fix and fill each little hole. I cure them eventually, and it doesn’t matter what they stole. As long as they are happy, who cares how I feel? As long as they aren’t broken, I’ll bear wounds that time won’t heal.

12

I thought my heart was dead. That I couldn’t feel affection for anyone, not after everything he had done to me. But then you came into my life, so suddenly, I couldn’t see it coming. I didn’t expect to like you. I told myself I wouldn’t, or couldn’t, care for you. You aren’t mine. I don’t even know if you’re interested. But thank you for reviving a part of myself I thought I’d never see again. Even if this is only a crush, I’m glad my first was on you.

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Sep 24, 2019

Sep 24, 2019 at 7:09 PM UTC

first crush

I thought my heart was dead. That I couldn’t feel affection for anyone, not after everything he had done to me. But then you came into my life, so suddenly, I couldn’t see it coming. I didn’t expect to like you. I told myself I wouldn’t, or couldn’t, care for you. You aren’t mine. I don’t even know if you’re interested. But thank you for reviving a part of myself I thought I’d never see again. Even if this is only a crush, I’m glad my first was on you.

13

words fill her up in a way people never could

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Dec 29, 2018

Dec 29, 2018 at 7:05 PM UTC

confessions of a book addict

words fill her up in a way people never could

3

It’s getting bad again. My skin is scratching, itching, burning. I want to rake my nails down my wrist just to relieve a little pressure. It’s building up inside me. I’m afraid that I’ll explode and imbed shrapnel in those who are closest to me. I shy away and leave myself alone. Better to suffer in silence than to make others worry. I want to press a blade deep into my hips. To feel the blood bubbling up and all my pressure-pain-panic leaving with each drop that flows down my thigh. Just like old times.

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Oct 11, 2018

Oct 11, 2018 at 12:39 AM UTC

help i don’t want help

It’s getting bad again. My skin is scratching, itching, burning. I want to rake my nails down my wrist just to relieve a little pressure. It’s building up inside me. I’m afraid that I’ll explode and imbed shrapnel in those who are closest to me. I shy away and leave myself alone. Better to suffer in silence than to make others worry. I want to press a blade deep into my hips. To feel the blood bubbling up and all my pressure-pain-panic leaving with each drop that flows down my thigh. Just like old times.

19

I used to think that we were born empty and someone else had to make us whole. I used to believe that he would complete me not leave me empty and cold. The boy stripped me bare and took everything from me just to fill himself. I became nothing but a shell of the girl that I used to be, before he emptied me. I used to think that he loved me and he was doing this to me out of care and devotion. I was wrong to think, to believe that he caged me out of love and admiration. Each hit and verbal abuse felt like love to me. He told me that he was scared of losing me, so he lost his mind when I didn't answer. He loved me too much to let me do a n y t h i n g by myself. If I didn't have him I would end up alone, who else could possibly want me? I believed each and every lie that he told me. -is it really abuse if he says he loves you?

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Sep 18, 2018

Sep 18, 2018 at 12:56 PM UTC

lies i told myself

I used to think that we were born empty and someone else had to make us whole. I used to believe that he would complete me not leave me empty and cold. The boy stripped me bare and took everything from me just to fill himself. I became nothing but a shell of the girl that I used to be, before he emptied me. I used to think that he loved me and he was doing this to me out of care and devotion. I was wrong to think, to believe that he caged me out of love and admiration. Each hit and verbal abuse felt like love to me. He told me that he was scared of losing me, so he lost his mind when I didn't answer. He loved me too much to let me do a n y t h i n g by myself. If I didn't have him I would end up alone, who else could possibly want me? I believed each and every lie that he told me. -is it really abuse if he says he loves you?

34

I am jealous. I am jealous of the way you easily change your faces. They switch so quickly, hardly anyone can keep up. I am jealous. I will admit it, the green monster building inside. How do you live your life, so carelessly. I am jealous and angered. I wish I could be as selfish and cold hearted as you. I wish I could rip the knife out of my back, and stab you too. I am jealous and heartbroken. I cry out in pain, pain that you so ruthlessly inflicted. You think only of yourself, trampling everything in your path. I am jealous and done. I am tired of trying and fighting, fighting for you. I am done wishing that you will be a better person. Now, no one is left to root for you.

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Jul 24, 2018

Jul 24, 2018 at 10:18 PM UTC

jealous of a monster

I am jealous. I am jealous of the way you easily change your faces. They switch so quickly, hardly anyone can keep up. I am jealous. I will admit it, the green monster building inside. How do you live your life, so carelessly. I am jealous and angered. I wish I could be as selfish and cold hearted as you. I wish I could rip the knife out of my back, and stab you too. I am jealous and heartbroken. I cry out in pain, pain that you so ruthlessly inflicted. You think only of yourself, trampling everything in your path. I am jealous and done. I am tired of trying and fighting, fighting for you. I am done wishing that you will be a better person. Now, no one is left to root for you.

20

Every hope I've ever built up, it all comes crashing down. How do I always get stuck with the broken ones, their scattered pieces on the ground. I'm left to pick them up and solve their messy riddle. I put their pieces back in place, no matter how brittle. I make them whole and happy. I make them tall and strong. I give them my devotion and love, but then they treat me wrong. Because I picked them up, and helped them start anew they think that they're entitled. I guess that's what they're used to. They're accustomed to deference. They expect to be treated like queens and kings. I let them abuse and use me, each day brings a new sting. I always realize too late, getting hurt by their schemes and plans. It's only when their true colors show that I see bloodied red cuts on my hands.

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Jul 2, 2018

Jul 2, 2018 at 11:52 PM UTC

the cost of fixing

Every hope I've ever built up, it all comes crashing down. How do I always get stuck with the broken ones, their scattered pieces on the ground. I'm left to pick them up and solve their messy riddle. I put their pieces back in place, no matter how brittle. I make them whole and happy. I make them tall and strong. I give them my devotion and love, but then they treat me wrong. Because I picked them up, and helped them start anew they think that they're entitled. I guess that's what they're used to. They're accustomed to deference. They expect to be treated like queens and kings. I let them abuse and use me, each day brings a new sting. I always realize too late, getting hurt by their schemes and plans. It's only when their true colors show that I see bloodied red cuts on my hands.

24

Pushing and pulling. We push and pull at each other like two magnets, opposing and attracting with every twist. You push me away and I pull you back. I push you in return, you pull me further into the dark. We’re no good for one another. We knew this wouldn’t last. What did you expect, when all the lies piled up. Did you think you could hide them forever? Lies never stay hidden. The truth reveals itself in the end, and often not in the ways we want it to. Your lies were the final nail in the coffin of our relationship. You were supposed to be my new beginning , my happy ever after my knight coming to rescue me. I realized too late that I dont need to be rescued. I needed an equal. Someone to pull me up when I fell, not pull me down and drown me. I needed someone to push me to be my best, not push me towards darkness and deceit. You think that you haven’t done anything wrong. You love me, so how could you ever hurt me? The ones who love us tend to hurt us the most. You wanted me kept tightly in your firm grip. You always “knew what was best for me”, without consulting me. I thought I was the one that didn’t deserve you. You were sunshine and warmth wrapped in a human body. I didn’t realize you’d leave me burnt and scarred skin. I’m choosing to move on. I’m choosing to forget. You never deserved my devotion and defense. Everyone warned me about you, they told me you were dangerous. I didn’t believe them, I couldn’t see. You’ve opened my eyes, for the last time. So goodbye, my love. Goodbye, my friend. You won’t be invited into my life again.

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Jul 2, 2018

Jul 2, 2018 at 11:23 PM UTC

magnetic love and its inevitable destruction

Pushing and pulling. We push and pull at each other like two magnets, opposing and attracting with every twist. You push me away and I pull you back. I push you in return, you pull me further into the dark. We’re no good for one another. We knew this wouldn’t last. What did you expect, when all the lies piled up. Did you think you could hide them forever? Lies never stay hidden. The truth reveals itself in the end, and often not in the ways we want it to. Your lies were the final nail in the coffin of our relationship. You were supposed to be my new beginning , my happy ever after my knight coming to rescue me. I realized too late that I dont need to be rescued. I needed an equal. Someone to pull me up when I fell, not pull me down and drown me. I needed someone to push me to be my best, not push me towards darkness and deceit. You think that you haven’t done anything wrong. You love me, so how could you ever hurt me? The ones who love us tend to hurt us the most. You wanted me kept tightly in your firm grip. You always “knew what was best for me”, without consulting me. I thought I was the one that didn’t deserve you. You were sunshine and warmth wrapped in a human body. I didn’t realize you’d leave me burnt and scarred skin. I’m choosing to move on. I’m choosing to forget. You never deserved my devotion and defense. Everyone warned me about you, they told me you were dangerous. I didn’t believe them, I couldn’t see. You’ve opened my eyes, for the last time. So goodbye, my love. Goodbye, my friend. You won’t be invited into my life again.

45

Is it possible for heartbreak to cause physical pain in your chest? I can feel it burning, scorching its searing pain deep inside. How am I supposed to breathe when I'm weighed down by it? My lungs try to expand but, they get stuck. No air comes. I don't think I will ever find another who cares like you do. Your love suffocates me, I am floundering and drowning in it. I know that when I end this, I will never feel love again. How is it that even though I'm the one ending it, I'm the one broken. I asked you straight to your face, how was it so easy to lie? You lied to me over and over time and time again. I knew this would never work, I ruin everything I touch. We should have just stayed friends. Nothing will ever be the same again. I may be imperfect and flawed, not worthy of much. I expected more from you, a self proclaimed knight in shining armor. You ******* this one up, my darling. I miss my best friend, but I won't rely on your devotion and misconstrued idea of love.

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Jun 21, 2018

Jun 21, 2018 at 10:59 PM UTC

darling, dearest, goodbye.

Is it possible for heartbreak to cause physical pain in your chest? I can feel it burning, scorching its searing pain deep inside. How am I supposed to breathe when I'm weighed down by it? My lungs try to expand but, they get stuck. No air comes. I don't think I will ever find another who cares like you do. Your love suffocates me, I am floundering and drowning in it. I know that when I end this, I will never feel love again. How is it that even though I'm the one ending it, I'm the one broken. I asked you straight to your face, how was it so easy to lie? You lied to me over and over time and time again. I knew this would never work, I ruin everything I touch. We should have just stayed friends. Nothing will ever be the same again. I may be imperfect and flawed, not worthy of much. I expected more from you, a self proclaimed knight in shining armor. You ******* this one up, my darling. I miss my best friend, but I won't rely on your devotion and misconstrued idea of love.

38