As I close my garage and drive away, all I can think of is the escape; Is it really an escape or easy to not let them see the pain. My heart is heavy; my mind so full can't even fathom a tear to pull. I'm lost, and drained don’t even know who will listen to my brain. I've pushed, pulled and choked, and drowned now its surround. Cause she had doubt felt fear and neglect like someone's hands around her neck. Her depths so wide and cracks so thin how could she ever feel she’ll win. Worry is anxiety depression, with suicide is supposedly a sin. My father, who is in heaven, please guide my path for soon to see it all, only my wrath as I close my garage and drive away.
May 31, 2021
May 31, 2021 at 11:31 PM UTC
Blindly loved or love be blind whatever peace my heart defines. My body my soul was given like blood for my life was forsaken from the one that I loved. Was alone, bruised, torn but for worse the feeling of left confused. Was it me, what I do my heart poured for a live I lived for. A family home, a career a journey never to believe this man and his irony. Although carrying his only child was betrayed numerous times girls that hasn’t even ran my mile. I wouldve done, could’ve done and then still did mainly because I was having a kid. Swalled my pride put my insecurity aside for what to be left alone to cry. Yet now 3 years later my heart looks back back feel peace and endurance to God set my only track. He built my strength off pain cheating and absue to allow me to see he is the is the only man my heart shall choose.
May 31, 2021
May 31, 2021 at 11:28 PM UTC
Much of a given ****
Not here very much
You ***** and *****
She’s twisted and sick
Still you run back so quick
Life you have always wished
Blinding your clear sight
Of the truth that lies
It ends the same each time
Man left all alone
Picking up the pieces
Of his worn-out heart
She shattered towards the floor
And wrecking his souls once more
much of a given ****
Not here very much
You ***** and *****
Still you run back so quick
So my given *****
Are not here very much
Mar 22, 2019
Mar 22, 2019 at 3:38 AM UTC
Is it a right to write
Or should I deny
That life is but to write
Then you are
My forever goodnight
Till the sunlight arises
And continue our nights thoughts out loud
Feb 19, 2019
Feb 19, 2019 at 5:33 AM UTC
hi, hello how are you
oh nice, youre doing just fine
great to hear
oh me, how am I ?
man, couldn't be better
both know we are full of lies
saying congrats on your new life
happy to hear youre getting on by
handling your life
gotta keep that mask
cant let it out
gotta remain above the clouds
keep moving south
shouldn't chat long
or ill fall
tell you how im a mess
haven't cleaned up yet
im lost at the block, kinda fucken stuck
cant get over this wall
its too **** tall
goes for very long
that I hit a fall
at the bottom lookin up, tryna figure out how to come up
tired takin falls
wont you help me move a long
we haven't spoken in so long
its destroying my thoughts
im tryna move on
know you are all the way through
good for you, happy for youu
really am
im tryna do my best
to get over you
hell, I don't know why you keep popping in my head
I just want to end this phase
of wishing to see your face
know itll never come true
time to knock these walls
that all involve you
and make me go all loop
Nov 3, 2018
Nov 3, 2018 at 7:41 AM UTC
smart went crazy
truth went trendy
must admit im missin you like crazy
just getting by as I keep tellin all these lies that im alright and aint fucken up no more
cant say when I last felt like myself
just know im checked out the day I had to let you go
didn't even have you but ya know
we know what it was when it was
and what it wasn't when it wasn't what it was
some **** that twist your tongue
not exactly sure what just know it went something like that
in those lines I wrote there above
really wish I knew what the **** it was
cause it drives me nuts
im losing memories of you
not going away, just fading away … place to the end of my brain
im tryna cope with not hearing your voice or seeing your face
**** just getting worse
must have a type of curse \all was better when you were around
know it was hell but you put up
and am not something great probably someone you hate
but ya wont speak my name
whenever you do it taste like something you wouldn't redo
im cool just wanted to say im missing you
Oct 26, 2018
Oct 26, 2018 at 10:16 AM UTC
all unique , to our own technique
we critique ourselves as if there is no one else around
xcept' when we're really underground
our attention turns to the ones that surround us;
the ones that love us, or ones we cannot have
what else is there to do when we're 1000ft down,
trapped in our head, feeling like our life is cursed
how much worse, is sounding like its rehearse
we may not like our life in this time,
that's alright
keep yourself above the dirt
but if you slip & become hurt, know you'll be heard
and your loved ones will be there to help you up
you'll be roughed up, but they'll give you hugs
tell about the times you were young
and wish you'd see
that you have your own technique
you are so very unique
no need to critique what you do
life is always on the move
don't hit snooze, or get *****
otherwise you'll lose the love of your life
end up feeling like some other
and get lost in a wander
to a point where there isn't any turning back
none will be glad, in fact we'll be sad
cause we cant't have you back walking a similar path
we'll only be able to look back
and remember the times we had
Oct 8, 2018
Oct 8, 2018 at 6:20 AM UTC
thank you
you helped me find the truth
you were the life of me
whole life beautiful
when the fire burns out , I know it ain't pretty
but baby ima gone be okaye
they say things fall apart
I know in my heart we'll come back
and have a good laugh when we looking back
im just hopin we'll meet up some day
talk about where we been
all the ******** we been put through
how we always stayed strong
remember after all
im gone be here, no matter how long
take a step back
skip ahead if that's what you want
know we are young, and that we're growing old
but ain't a thing gone change
youll always remain, number one flame
how I see it even if we are completely broken
im willing to work with it
promise ill always be strong
youre the one that helped me make it through it all
know you don't exactly see it
no one elsse really gets it
I don't give a ****
if looking insane as I remain wherever you stay
whole life so **** beautiful
know you cant exactly see it
but you're the reason Im stronger then before
finding truth in whoever I am
you became most of life to me
let me just say
I know you claim to hate
but that's not in my way
cause you've been part of this great change
know there was lots pain
that why I write to remember
how far ive came
and who ive got to give thanks
for making me feel better about this life I don't wish to remain ',
got me wanting to stick around
watch the flames burn down
cause it is its own beauty
we may have fallen apart
but baby one day we're gone be back
have good laugh about all this
cant believe we met up again
honestly im fucken blessed
you don't know why I always claim this
cause you never saw more of yourself
but honestly you made me who I am
stronger than before
I have you to thank for this
whole life beautiful
wished we never had to go own ways
in the end we will meet again
cause I aint given up that soon
youre my whole moon
reason I bloom
so im gunna always be there
even if that flame disappears
i'll stay near for when you give me the clear
we had fear from this journey
but thank yeeuus
I had you there
helping me through
just hope
I didn't mess your plan up
from us meeting up
always wanted the best for both of us
if it meant going opposite ways
I wouldn't be okaye but know ill be able to fight
keep myself upright ; least pretend im alright
we gone meet again
gone laigh at this **** one day
life has it amazing ways
to keep the flame from running to the ground
we're gonna rise from this
it worked out for both routes
take care now
ill be here , hmu when you like turning out
cause I cant lose you now
youre already far out
try not to completely disappear
I care
Oct 5, 2018
Oct 5, 2018 at 4:29 AM UTC
this one is a real one, gone be long one; bare with me if you tryna feel me and land two feet to how I think.
been for forever if I think, that I been tryna let this **** out.
I haven't wrapped my head around it yet.
still thinking it out, feeling it out , running around tryna figure this **** out.
cause how I speak about this is some real hard **** to do without coming out as something its not
Its still a hard thought, not even processed but racing to be blurted out.
how my mind got betrayed , I done been part of a fucken game
nd that's not okay
I want to scream and break **** for these voices talking all at once at the top their lungs
theyre all fucken lost , almost like sprung out bums that are on the run from the cops
cause you ****** some **** up , messing my head up
thought that **** had already been ****** up
but guess it could get ****** more
and I think it was too much
these voices don't shut up
I cant write about the bite
theres no fucken fight
just stranded in daylight
like hey take care now
you are some fucken fool
I wasn't really ever cool
so scoot scoot , I don't want to hear from you
is this **** true ?
my dude , you are a **** ,
cant fucken believe this ****
theres no fucken words to it
just **** the game
you played your turn , its game over
no next player turn
you cleared the scoreboard
for some ***** and two ice cream cones
hope they were great
cause you ****** up my mental state
aint ever cool no more
both walked out doors ,
without waving away,
no hate tiny bit a pain but
the door been erased
im perfectly okaye
stay the **** away
im not into games
where the rules are whatever you decide
got better **** to do
none of it involves you
sorry dude ,
this is last goodbye
till another life
take care and always be safe
remember that game can always be changed
so watch your ways
cause you too can be played
and youll be never same sane
take that blame for chasing fame
Oct 2, 2018
Oct 2, 2018 at 3:52 AM UTC