Kobain-Has-got-to-die - Hello Poetry

Do you remember the time, You used to be my only reason why? I got out of bed and felt alive, And why I didn’t just go ahead and die? I can’t find reason anymore in this world, Except I’d really miss you all if I were to go. I’m not even sure if you’d really miss me at all, Or if that’s just something that you say. We’re better off as friends, Cause I’m not a good lover. I’m an addict I am a joke, Who will never be good enough. My heart keeps searching for a someone, To fill this void calm this raging storm within. Within me there’s a black hole, That leaves me blank and empty. She calls me a survivor, But I don’t feel quite alive.

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Mar 8, 2020

Mar 8, 2020 at 5:30 AM UTC

Do you remember?

Do you remember the time, You used to be my only reason why? I got out of bed and felt alive, And why I didn’t just go ahead and die? I can’t find reason anymore in this world, Except I’d really miss you all if I were to go. I’m not even sure if you’d really miss me at all, Or if that’s just something that you say. We’re better off as friends, Cause I’m not a good lover. I’m an addict I am a joke, Who will never be good enough. My heart keeps searching for a someone, To fill this void calm this raging storm within. Within me there’s a black hole, That leaves me blank and empty. She calls me a survivor, But I don’t feel quite alive.

18

Pieces of clothing scattered all over my bedroom floor, This war with myself a war with many ******* casualties. I’m going to hurt you like I always do so go get out the door, Millions hurt and maybe someday soon there will be one dead. Don’t know who’s going to win this war the monsters in my head, Or will it be me but who is me no I just want to disappear and die. But I’m too afraid of death no I’m just a coward no I am just a fool, I wish I could just close my **** eyes and go to sleep for ******* ever. I'm not your daughter no I'm not your daughter no I'm your wait...don't know who I am anymore, Dig me a grave but do me a favor save your tears see sometimes I feel like I’m already gone. And I cut all ties to all those who care or I hope and wish that they'll fix me some ******* how, But maybe I'm just this way and maybe I'm not meant to be fixed and maybe I was born to go. Yeah maybe I was born to want to die maybe I was born to live a lie maybe I’m afraid to try, Maybe I’m scared of life and of death and maybe I’m just terrified of every single ******* thing. I don’t want to be alive often wish that I was never born at all and all these things I’ll never say, Don’t want you to see me in a different light and I don’t want to see your disappointed eyes. I’m not your daughter no I’m not your ******* daughter no I’m your so—I’m someone else, Don’t know if you know me you should but you don’t cause I’m hiding even from myself. Meaningless I love you’s are mumbled cause I don’t know how that feels anymore I’m numb, Everyone else are living their lives and then there’s me and I don’t know what I’m doing **** You say that it’s a choice and you say that I should choose to live but what if I don’t want to, What if I can’t choose and what if my mind and my body don’t agree on who I ******* am?!? And what if I just feel ******* lost and dead and afraid emotions all over the ******* place, Tell me how to control this black hole within taking all hopes and all dreams a ******* way?

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Feb 3, 2020

Feb 3, 2020 at 10:06 AM UTC

Go to sleep

Pieces of clothing scattered all over my bedroom floor, This war with myself a war with many ******* casualties. I’m going to hurt you like I always do so go get out the door, Millions hurt and maybe someday soon there will be one dead. Don’t know who’s going to win this war the monsters in my head, Or will it be me but who is me no I just want to disappear and die. But I’m too afraid of death no I’m just a coward no I am just a fool, I wish I could just close my **** eyes and go to sleep for ******* ever. I'm not your daughter no I'm not your daughter no I'm your wait...don't know who I am anymore, Dig me a grave but do me a favor save your tears see sometimes I feel like I’m already gone. And I cut all ties to all those who care or I hope and wish that they'll fix me some ******* how, But maybe I'm just this way and maybe I'm not meant to be fixed and maybe I was born to go. Yeah maybe I was born to want to die maybe I was born to live a lie maybe I’m afraid to try, Maybe I’m scared of life and of death and maybe I’m just terrified of every single ******* thing. I don’t want to be alive often wish that I was never born at all and all these things I’ll never say, Don’t want you to see me in a different light and I don’t want to see your disappointed eyes. I’m not your daughter no I’m not your ******* daughter no I’m your so—I’m someone else, Don’t know if you know me you should but you don’t cause I’m hiding even from myself. Meaningless I love you’s are mumbled cause I don’t know how that feels anymore I’m numb, Everyone else are living their lives and then there’s me and I don’t know what I’m doing **** You say that it’s a choice and you say that I should choose to live but what if I don’t want to, What if I can’t choose and what if my mind and my body don’t agree on who I ******* am?!? And what if I just feel ******* lost and dead and afraid emotions all over the ******* place, Tell me how to control this black hole within taking all hopes and all dreams a ******* way?

23

Don‘t do this please oh won’t somebody ******* stop me, I’m ruining my life and I’m leading double lives cheater! Don’t want to lose you cause you mean the world to me, Look at my lying mouth why is distance so ******* far? Is this just a simulation and are we just in my head what, What do you want from me or what do I want from me? Nobody loves you because you can’t even love yourself, But you’re so addicted to that wanted feeling you need it. Is she just a joke to you and are you going to ******* hurt her too, There’s nobody else in the entire world that you can shove this on. No buddy this is all on you yes this is all on you no it’s all on me, I am the lie and you’re the one lying I’m so disgusted with myself. Should stop this drop the phone you love someone stupid **** Just stop this **** drop the phone and drop your lies it’s stupid. Don’t want to lose you and to hurt you but I think I’m bound to, I‘m such a mess why do you love me I’m such a wreck **** Leave me behind I’m sofuckingusless and I’m sofuckingworthless, I’m just a sad excuse of a human-being you don’t want to love me. Loving me is a curse because I can‘t accept it Ihatemyselfsomuch, I thought that maybe someone could ******* save me was wrong. Think I’m the only one that can truly save myself thing is though, Just don’t know how to do it though how to ******* save myself. But I don’t think you can help me so you should leave me alone, Probably it’s best if you just shut of your emotions self destruct!

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Jan 18, 2020

Jan 18, 2020 at 11:28 AM UTC

Drop this **** self!

Don‘t do this please oh won’t somebody ******* stop me, I’m ruining my life and I’m leading double lives cheater! Don’t want to lose you cause you mean the world to me, Look at my lying mouth why is distance so ******* far? Is this just a simulation and are we just in my head what, What do you want from me or what do I want from me? Nobody loves you because you can’t even love yourself, But you’re so addicted to that wanted feeling you need it. Is she just a joke to you and are you going to ******* hurt her too, There’s nobody else in the entire world that you can shove this on. No buddy this is all on you yes this is all on you no it’s all on me, I am the lie and you’re the one lying I’m so disgusted with myself. Should stop this drop the phone you love someone stupid **** Just stop this **** drop the phone and drop your lies it’s stupid. Don’t want to lose you and to hurt you but I think I’m bound to, I‘m such a mess why do you love me I’m such a wreck **** Leave me behind I’m sofuckingusless and I’m sofuckingworthless, I’m just a sad excuse of a human-being you don’t want to love me. Loving me is a curse because I can‘t accept it Ihatemyselfsomuch, I thought that maybe someone could ******* save me was wrong. Think I’m the only one that can truly save myself thing is though, Just don’t know how to do it though how to ******* save myself. But I don’t think you can help me so you should leave me alone, Probably it’s best if you just shut of your emotions self destruct!

24

She follows me each and everywhere that I go unwanted, And she makes me second guess each and every thing I say. She doesn’t seem to want to give me a break and give me space, And I just want to breathe but she’s got a tight grip strangling me. So If you think that I want her there well you’re ******* wrong my friend, Just go ahead you may go on and take her with you cause I’m tired of her. Sick and Tired of her mocking and so tired of her pretending to be my friend, Leave me alone leave me alone leave me alone leave me alone why won’t she go? She hovers around in my brain wherever I try to hide no she’s not very far away at all, You say I should just fight her just withstand the battle it’s ******* easy apparently. She says the same god ****** thing I’m a friend not an enemy no I’m a friend, Not an enemy no I’m your friend not an enemy I’m innocent a friend she says. She also says that my birth was a mistake can you tell her to just go away, I’m tired of her I am so exhausted I just want to live a life not a **** lie. She’s in my head she’s only in my head she loves playing pretend, And I don’t think that I can take her for very much longer I’m tired.

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Jan 18, 2020

Jan 18, 2020 at 9:11 AM UTC

No escape

She follows me each and everywhere that I go unwanted, And she makes me second guess each and every thing I say. She doesn’t seem to want to give me a break and give me space, And I just want to breathe but she’s got a tight grip strangling me. So If you think that I want her there well you’re ******* wrong my friend, Just go ahead you may go on and take her with you cause I’m tired of her. Sick and Tired of her mocking and so tired of her pretending to be my friend, Leave me alone leave me alone leave me alone leave me alone why won’t she go? She hovers around in my brain wherever I try to hide no she’s not very far away at all, You say I should just fight her just withstand the battle it’s ******* easy apparently. She says the same god ****** thing I’m a friend not an enemy no I’m a friend, Not an enemy no I’m your friend not an enemy I’m innocent a friend she says. She also says that my birth was a mistake can you tell her to just go away, I’m tired of her I am so exhausted I just want to live a life not a **** lie. She’s in my head she’s only in my head she loves playing pretend, And I don’t think that I can take her for very much longer I’m tired.

16

Your fear it's irrational because all of its inside your ******* head, She says to stop making excuses and to stop pushing the ******* blame. Maybe I'm just stuck being a little child who can't take responsibility for **** She says everyone's afraid but the question of the day is what are you going to do? Don't ask cause I don't have the answers to any ******* thing, And I do not know who I am today or who the **** I'll be tomorrow. Running away and hiding from each and everyone and everything, it's just easier this way than facing the ******* truth and facing you. The monsters in my head disguised as my own treacherous thoughts, Screech and scream angry words and vexed provocations and they demand to be heard. Please just give me some peace and silence and please just stop ruining my ******* life, All of it's inside my ******* head **** just leave me the **** alone don't follow me to ******* bed!

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Jan 15, 2020

Jan 15, 2020 at 3:02 PM UTC

**** leave me alone!

Your fear it's irrational because all of its inside your ******* head, She says to stop making excuses and to stop pushing the ******* blame. Maybe I'm just stuck being a little child who can't take responsibility for **** She says everyone's afraid but the question of the day is what are you going to do? Don't ask cause I don't have the answers to any ******* thing, And I do not know who I am today or who the **** I'll be tomorrow. Running away and hiding from each and everyone and everything, it's just easier this way than facing the ******* truth and facing you. The monsters in my head disguised as my own treacherous thoughts, Screech and scream angry words and vexed provocations and they demand to be heard. Please just give me some peace and silence and please just stop ruining my ******* life, All of it's inside my ******* head **** just leave me the **** alone don't follow me to ******* bed!

12

Go ignore yourself, go be someone else, Say it’s all okay, smile another day. smile, inside you’re crying, Laugh, inside you’re dying. Say it’s just a moment, it’ll go in a minute, hide away your feelings, bottle all emotions. You keep hearing questions, questions you can’t answer, You don’t know the answers, growing sick and tired. Go ignore your friends, possibly the best, watch em walk away, from this utter fake, Doesn’t know themselves, doesn’t know what to say. Smile, there’s no tomorrow, laugh, there’s no today. They don’t know you, darling like I do. Ignore the silent voices, mute yourself you’re silent, watch as you scream and shout, look there’s not a sound. Go ignore you’re family, they don’t mean a thing, No it’s all ok, they‘re just everything to you. Go avoid your father, just cause he will hate you, if he only knew, who you are today, such a disappointment, Bad taste , bad excuses, god you’re really hopeless. Go avoid your mother, Yes avoid her questions, go ahead keep you’re distance, Watch her sit in silence, watch it you’ll lose her too. The world still turns and turns, the worlds still in its orbit. We’ve got a billion thounsand heads, millions loosing their sleep. And a billion thousand hearts, millions of them hurting. I am only one, in billion thousand souls, So insignificant, So irrelevant.

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Apr 21, 2019

Apr 21, 2019 at 2:27 AM UTC

Go ignore

Go ignore yourself, go be someone else, Say it’s all okay, smile another day. smile, inside you’re crying, Laugh, inside you’re dying. Say it’s just a moment, it’ll go in a minute, hide away your feelings, bottle all emotions. You keep hearing questions, questions you can’t answer, You don’t know the answers, growing sick and tired. Go ignore your friends, possibly the best, watch em walk away, from this utter fake, Doesn’t know themselves, doesn’t know what to say. Smile, there’s no tomorrow, laugh, there’s no today. They don’t know you, darling like I do. Ignore the silent voices, mute yourself you’re silent, watch as you scream and shout, look there’s not a sound. Go ignore you’re family, they don’t mean a thing, No it’s all ok, they‘re just everything to you. Go avoid your father, just cause he will hate you, if he only knew, who you are today, such a disappointment, Bad taste , bad excuses, god you’re really hopeless. Go avoid your mother, Yes avoid her questions, go ahead keep you’re distance, Watch her sit in silence, watch it you’ll lose her too. The world still turns and turns, the worlds still in its orbit. We’ve got a billion thounsand heads, millions loosing their sleep. And a billion thousand hearts, millions of them hurting. I am only one, in billion thousand souls, So insignificant, So irrelevant.

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