KlutzyStoneHeart - Hello Poetry

I can feel it Dripping down my arm, The warm trickle Of the beautiful red substance That seems to be the only thing Keeping me sane. I can feel the rush of emotions, Just dripping right out of me The only thing it leaves in its wake Is a lost little kid Who seems to feel nothing anymore I can feel it The tears from my eyes I’m crying in my bedroom Letting out all the pain Because it’s all my fault And I’m not causing others any gain I can feel it The constricting of my heart As I pretend to be fine And go about my day pretending I’m not going to break I can feel it The anger at myself For letting others opinions drive me to This point But I cannot stop And I don’t want to Because this is all I know Is what you reap you sow.

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Nov 4, 2018

Nov 4, 2018 at 12:50 PM UTC

I Can Feel It

I can feel it Dripping down my arm, The warm trickle Of the beautiful red substance That seems to be the only thing Keeping me sane. I can feel the rush of emotions, Just dripping right out of me The only thing it leaves in its wake Is a lost little kid Who seems to feel nothing anymore I can feel it The tears from my eyes I’m crying in my bedroom Letting out all the pain Because it’s all my fault And I’m not causing others any gain I can feel it The constricting of my heart As I pretend to be fine And go about my day pretending I’m not going to break I can feel it The anger at myself For letting others opinions drive me to This point But I cannot stop And I don’t want to Because this is all I know Is what you reap you sow.

30

Anger Sadness Frustration All falling down my face In a foreign form called tears I look up And listen to the reason for these tears I hear them walking away Until the only thing heard Are my cries I pick myself up And get back to work Wondering when these foreign things Would make an appearance Once again

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Sep 7, 2018

Sep 7, 2018 at 1:25 AM UTC

Tears

Anger Sadness Frustration All falling down my face In a foreign form called tears I look up And listen to the reason for these tears I hear them walking away Until the only thing heard Are my cries I pick myself up And get back to work Wondering when these foreign things Would make an appearance Once again

15

I was broken After you left I was doing my best to cling to life, Even though I knew you would be back, To knock me down again. I hear you coming back I can smell the reek of spirits From the place I dubbed my sanctuary. I hear you climbing up the stairs, With your heavy footfalls, And I brace myself, to be shattered tonight. I meet you at the top of the stairs, Not wanting to ***** my safe place. After all is done, Here I lay, Completely Shattered, From the hands of someone I once loved.

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Sep 3, 2018

Sep 3, 2018 at 8:12 PM UTC

Completely Shattered

I was broken After you left I was doing my best to cling to life, Even though I knew you would be back, To knock me down again. I hear you coming back I can smell the reek of spirits From the place I dubbed my sanctuary. I hear you climbing up the stairs, With your heavy footfalls, And I brace myself, to be shattered tonight. I meet you at the top of the stairs, Not wanting to ***** my safe place. After all is done, Here I lay, Completely Shattered, From the hands of someone I once loved.

18

This is for all you parents out there. You say that you hate hypocrites, But go look in a mirror and see the real hypocrites. Maybe you will see the real reason why we, The kids, Hate your rule over us. You tell us to do things, Then you don’t do them yourself. You tell us not to lie But what are the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny and Santa Clause? You tell us not to curse, But guess where I learned Most all the ones I know. You tell us to never tell you no, Yet that's all y’all seem to say to us. You tell us no dessert before dinner, Yet you get to eat brownies all day long? You always have the exact same excuses, “I’m older than you” “I can do what I want” “You don’t understand” Well you want to know what? That doesn’t matter. All it did was teach me to be like you, A hypocrite.

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Aug 23, 2018

Aug 23, 2018 at 7:28 PM UTC

Hypocrite

This is for all you parents out there. You say that you hate hypocrites, But go look in a mirror and see the real hypocrites. Maybe you will see the real reason why we, The kids, Hate your rule over us. You tell us to do things, Then you don’t do them yourself. You tell us not to lie But what are the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny and Santa Clause? You tell us not to curse, But guess where I learned Most all the ones I know. You tell us to never tell you no, Yet that's all y’all seem to say to us. You tell us no dessert before dinner, Yet you get to eat brownies all day long? You always have the exact same excuses, “I’m older than you” “I can do what I want” “You don’t understand” Well you want to know what? That doesn’t matter. All it did was teach me to be like you, A hypocrite.

25

I miss the days when I could speak without judgement I miss the days When I could run around, Carefree I miss the days when Everything wasn’t complicated With the things going on in the world And how much it changes, It’s going to start to affect people Terrorism and shootings have become common And no one blinks an eye at it Treaties are being made and destroyed, With all this going on, I just wish the old days were back, They were filled with laughter and joy, Not depression and self-loathing Those days were filled with wonder Not complicated and downright horrible But I know, Those days are behind us And they may never happen again, At least I have the memories of Simplicity and happiness

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Aug 12, 2018

Aug 12, 2018 at 10:38 PM UTC

Missing The Days

I miss the days when I could speak without judgement I miss the days When I could run around, Carefree I miss the days when Everything wasn’t complicated With the things going on in the world And how much it changes, It’s going to start to affect people Terrorism and shootings have become common And no one blinks an eye at it Treaties are being made and destroyed, With all this going on, I just wish the old days were back, They were filled with laughter and joy, Not depression and self-loathing Those days were filled with wonder Not complicated and downright horrible But I know, Those days are behind us And they may never happen again, At least I have the memories of Simplicity and happiness

24

She stands alone, Looking out the window, Seeing the other kids her age, Playing and having fun. He stands in a crowd, Surrounded by others his age Feeling alone Staring at the girl all by her lonesome. One isolated, With no friends, The other surrounded by others, With no real friends. One day they meet, Bumping into each other On the way to their respective activities. They immediately feel a connection And they no longer feel alone. They get to know each other, They start dating, They get married. And when they die, They know they won’t be alone, Not anymore, For they have each other.

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Aug 9, 2018

Aug 9, 2018 at 2:27 PM UTC

Not Alone

She stands alone, Looking out the window, Seeing the other kids her age, Playing and having fun. He stands in a crowd, Surrounded by others his age Feeling alone Staring at the girl all by her lonesome. One isolated, With no friends, The other surrounded by others, With no real friends. One day they meet, Bumping into each other On the way to their respective activities. They immediately feel a connection And they no longer feel alone. They get to know each other, They start dating, They get married. And when they die, They know they won’t be alone, Not anymore, For they have each other.

24

I’ve got problems I know I do But I ignore them Constantly thinking others have it worse They have it worse Than the occasional yelling They have it worse Than the feeling of being isolated They have it worse Than the occasional self-loathing. I feel like I can’t get help, Why should I waste anyone's time With problems that don’t even matter Compared to others? Others have abusive parents, Others are constantly yelled at, Others are going through so much worse Than I have ever gone through. But then why do I feel this way? Like I have things not resolved, Like I’m not enough? Like I feel bad for wanting help? I can’t help but compare myself to others, And I can’t help but think I’m insignificant Compared to everyone Who has it way worse than I do.

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Aug 6, 2018

Aug 6, 2018 at 1:32 AM UTC

Compared to Others

I’ve got problems I know I do But I ignore them Constantly thinking others have it worse They have it worse Than the occasional yelling They have it worse Than the feeling of being isolated They have it worse Than the occasional self-loathing. I feel like I can’t get help, Why should I waste anyone's time With problems that don’t even matter Compared to others? Others have abusive parents, Others are constantly yelled at, Others are going through so much worse Than I have ever gone through. But then why do I feel this way? Like I have things not resolved, Like I’m not enough? Like I feel bad for wanting help? I can’t help but compare myself to others, And I can’t help but think I’m insignificant Compared to everyone Who has it way worse than I do.

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I break down when I am finally asked how I feel. No one has asked in years. I’ve kept it all Locked up inside So no one can see How I’m truly breaking. I’ve never felt good enough To be part of this world, I self harm in the least obvious ways, I try not to show anything, For fear of being weak. So when I was finally asked how I feel, I cry for the first time in years, I let out my anger for life, My grief for those who have been lost, My sadness that no one cared, My happiness that someone finally noticed, Then when I’m done, I look up and say “i’m fine” I say thank you, And walk away. I feel refreshed knowing someone cared, Even if it was common courtesy. Though I’m still scared, Scared someone will see How broken I am on the inside

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Aug 6, 2018

Aug 6, 2018 at 1:29 AM UTC

Broken

I break down when I am finally asked how I feel. No one has asked in years. I’ve kept it all Locked up inside So no one can see How I’m truly breaking. I’ve never felt good enough To be part of this world, I self harm in the least obvious ways, I try not to show anything, For fear of being weak. So when I was finally asked how I feel, I cry for the first time in years, I let out my anger for life, My grief for those who have been lost, My sadness that no one cared, My happiness that someone finally noticed, Then when I’m done, I look up and say “i’m fine” I say thank you, And walk away. I feel refreshed knowing someone cared, Even if it was common courtesy. Though I’m still scared, Scared someone will see How broken I am on the inside

26

It’s 2 am And I can hear something I make out the voices of my parents Yelling and screaming I **** awake, And listen to their “conversation” I know they are fighting about Something Trivial I just cower under my bed covers Knowing I will feel the backlash in the morning I can hear their fight escalate I can hear the things they yell “You’re useless” “It’s all your fault” “Why don’t you just leave?” I know the answer to that one at least, They stay together for my siblings and I. I just fear the day when they finally realize We are adult enough to handle a divorce. I fear the day they realize We aren’t enough to keep them together I just fear the day they acknowledge The growing gap between them

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Aug 6, 2018

Aug 6, 2018 at 1:25 AM UTC

Fights

It’s 2 am And I can hear something I make out the voices of my parents Yelling and screaming I **** awake, And listen to their “conversation” I know they are fighting about Something Trivial I just cower under my bed covers Knowing I will feel the backlash in the morning I can hear their fight escalate I can hear the things they yell “You’re useless” “It’s all your fault” “Why don’t you just leave?” I know the answer to that one at least, They stay together for my siblings and I. I just fear the day when they finally realize We are adult enough to handle a divorce. I fear the day they realize We aren’t enough to keep them together I just fear the day they acknowledge The growing gap between them

23

You constantly belittle me You constantly insult me You constantly make me feel weak Every little thing you say Strikes deep in my heart The heart can only take so much Before it just shuts off But you want that don’t you? You want to see me fall And break And just get out if your way Gods it hurt Someone who I loved as a brother Started to bully me You know things about me Those things you promised never to bring up Then you go and do it In front of my parents My friends And the school Do you know how that feels? It makes me want to die The fact I can’t even keep a friend That won’t betray me Makes me feel so SAD And ANGRY Everything you say Just adds insult to the injury You exposed my darkest secrets My biggest fears And my deepest passions All for what? To humiliate? Shame? Destroy maybe? Well you succeeded You hurt me Your broke my trust You made me stone hearted again And I HATE you for that

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Jul 22, 2018

Jul 22, 2018 at 2:43 PM UTC

You Hurt Me

You constantly belittle me You constantly insult me You constantly make me feel weak Every little thing you say Strikes deep in my heart The heart can only take so much Before it just shuts off But you want that don’t you? You want to see me fall And break And just get out if your way Gods it hurt Someone who I loved as a brother Started to bully me You know things about me Those things you promised never to bring up Then you go and do it In front of my parents My friends And the school Do you know how that feels? It makes me want to die The fact I can’t even keep a friend That won’t betray me Makes me feel so SAD And ANGRY Everything you say Just adds insult to the injury You exposed my darkest secrets My biggest fears And my deepest passions All for what? To humiliate? Shame? Destroy maybe? Well you succeeded You hurt me Your broke my trust You made me stone hearted again And I HATE you for that

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