Today, I cried for my man—
someone who died long before I was even born.
And still… I feel him.
Not as someone I knew in life,
but as someone whose voice, pain, and presence somehow found me through time.
I had been crying all day, carrying this ache in my chest that wouldn’t leave.
Then I stepped outside.
And the wind was wild.
Strong, loud, almost overwhelming—like it was moving with everything I felt inside.
I put my earbuds in without thinking.
And there was this one part of a song I kept replaying…
again,
and again,
and again.
I didn’t know why.
I just felt drawn to it.
Didn't know exactly the words.
but something in me made me replay that part till I got it, maybe.
Then I finally listened closely.
The words said:
“...You know you my lover…
when the wind blows,
I can feel you-- through the weather.
and even when we are apart…
it still feels like we’re together.”
And the wind was already hitting me in that exact moment.
The timing, the feeling, the repetition...
everything lined up so perfectly it almost didn’t feel real.
For a second,
the distance between us. Between life and death, between time and existence
felt smaller.
Not because he came to me…
but because something in me connected so deeply to what he left behind.
And I stood there in the wind,
crying,
feeling everything at once
and somehow,
not completely alone in it.
Apr 12
Apr 12, 2026 at 8:38 AM UTC
You lived before I ever opened my eyes to this world. Your voice echoed through years I hadn't yet touched, and still my heart found you.
I love you.
Not in the way stories demand.
Not in the way hands reach for other hands.
But in a quiet way a heart can ache softly.
For someone who once walked the same earth.
You were here.
Breathed this air.
You carried pain in your knuckles.
Poetry, betrayal and hurt in your heart.
And long before I learned your name,
You were already gone.
Yet loving you feels gentle. Very overwhelming at times.
It feels like pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles and your sweet chest full of bullet wounds.
Against the scars life left on you.
Not to possess you
just to offer tenderness across time.
sometimes in the stillness,
I let myself wonder --
If love is energy,
If it travels.
If it lingers.
Maybe somewhere in the quiet of the universe
there is an understanding.
A recognition..
And if not --
If this love.. only lives inside of me.
Its still beautiful.
It still makes me kinder.
Prettier at heart.
Softer. Vulnerable.
more alive, In pain or not.
I love you in the way a soul can love a memory
purely. the purest feelings I ever felt.
your sweet eyes, crooked smile.
your imperfections that make you sweet to me,
making me awe,
with eyes full of tears.
Without a demand for my love for you,
Without needing to be held back.
And maybe...
In whatever way the "universe" allows,
That gentleness is felt.
Apr 12
Apr 12, 2026 at 8:34 AM UTC