Kk509 - Hello Poetry

it floods my body in an instant, becoming a waterfall of red irony dripping down my thighs Not sure how i got here with my life popping out as bubbles in thin lines sliding down my ankle to the white tiles piles of paper written-crimson ribbon tied to a gleaming release

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May 19, 2021

May 19, 2021 at 8:45 PM UTC

Floods

it floods my body in an instant, becoming a waterfall of red irony dripping down my thighs Not sure how i got here with my life popping out as bubbles in thin lines sliding down my ankle to the white tiles piles of paper written-crimson ribbon tied to a gleaming release

4

If it is wrong after a child turns a certain age, then why is it ok in the first place If it is wrong for the law to use on a criminal why is it right for a parent to use on a child, they say spare the rod spoil the child, I say spare the rod and spare the bad relationship with your children I say spare the rod spare the decrease of grey matter in your Kids brain I say spare the rod spare the higher chance of alcoholism as an adult Parent should be associated with comfort not fear discipline should be associated with correction not pain and spare the rod spoil the child is ******** It’s is not eve a verse from the Bible And yes I am biased mom because according to my sister you started physical punishment at the ripe old age of 6 months old and continued until I was almost thirteen Ever since I can remember I have been afraid of you and I cannot come to believe that is my anxiety’s fault because all anxiety has some truth to it I still remember when my little sister had temper tantrums you would send her to her room and spank her every hour until she stopped crying and I recently talked to her and she does not remember it her brain blocked it out and yes it was not a deadly beating but it still hurt her, and that hurts me And I do not blame you I do not blame me I blame this messed up system of our government and religion that tells people it is ok to hit a child but not another adult because hitting an adult will send you to jail but hitting a child In the name of discipline is praised I have more to say, but I don’t have all day

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Jun 29, 2020

Jun 29, 2020 at 11:23 PM UTC

Spare the Rod, Save the Child (slam poem)

If it is wrong after a child turns a certain age, then why is it ok in the first place If it is wrong for the law to use on a criminal why is it right for a parent to use on a child, they say spare the rod spoil the child, I say spare the rod and spare the bad relationship with your children I say spare the rod spare the decrease of grey matter in your Kids brain I say spare the rod spare the higher chance of alcoholism as an adult Parent should be associated with comfort not fear discipline should be associated with correction not pain and spare the rod spoil the child is ******** It’s is not eve a verse from the Bible And yes I am biased mom because according to my sister you started physical punishment at the ripe old age of 6 months old and continued until I was almost thirteen Ever since I can remember I have been afraid of you and I cannot come to believe that is my anxiety’s fault because all anxiety has some truth to it I still remember when my little sister had temper tantrums you would send her to her room and spank her every hour until she stopped crying and I recently talked to her and she does not remember it her brain blocked it out and yes it was not a deadly beating but it still hurt her, and that hurts me And I do not blame you I do not blame me I blame this messed up system of our government and religion that tells people it is ok to hit a child but not another adult because hitting an adult will send you to jail but hitting a child In the name of discipline is praised I have more to say, but I don’t have all day

15

Sometimes, I miss being sick. I miss the way I didn’t fight the bad thoughts. I miss the way anything that made me feel better, was a go. Cutting, burning, starving, eating, It was all fine with me, so long as no one else was doing it. I miss the way being a hypocrite didn’t bother me. I miss the way I was proud of my scars. I miss the way I hated myself Because it is so much work to not hate yourself, it's exhausting, infuriating, and overall terrifying. If you have been sick for a long time you begin to become used to it, I know, it sounds horrible, and yes it is horrible, but I became used to being sick, in fact, I became so used to it that I didn’t remember being healthy, my sickness took over my reality, and I just stood there, quietly accepting it. I used to count the things i could use to **** myself that were in a room, now I count the reasons to live, I used to hide razors in my bedroom, Now I gear up the courage to shave my legs without cutting them I used to hurt myself when I felt anything, Now I try so hard not to snap the rubber band around my wrist because I know even though the doctor said it is ok, it’s still a form of self harm. I finally accepted that when I hurt myself. I hurt other people, and even though I am getting better for others, at least I am trying to get better

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Dec 1, 2019

Dec 1, 2019 at 2:40 PM UTC

Sick (spoken word)

Sometimes, I miss being sick. I miss the way I didn’t fight the bad thoughts. I miss the way anything that made me feel better, was a go. Cutting, burning, starving, eating, It was all fine with me, so long as no one else was doing it. I miss the way being a hypocrite didn’t bother me. I miss the way I was proud of my scars. I miss the way I hated myself Because it is so much work to not hate yourself, it's exhausting, infuriating, and overall terrifying. If you have been sick for a long time you begin to become used to it, I know, it sounds horrible, and yes it is horrible, but I became used to being sick, in fact, I became so used to it that I didn’t remember being healthy, my sickness took over my reality, and I just stood there, quietly accepting it. I used to count the things i could use to **** myself that were in a room, now I count the reasons to live, I used to hide razors in my bedroom, Now I gear up the courage to shave my legs without cutting them I used to hurt myself when I felt anything, Now I try so hard not to snap the rubber band around my wrist because I know even though the doctor said it is ok, it’s still a form of self harm. I finally accepted that when I hurt myself. I hurt other people, and even though I am getting better for others, at least I am trying to get better

14

Recovering is not a ski lift sailing straight up the mountain, it is a hike up and down through tunnels and valleys to try and reach the top of a possibly never ending mountain.

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Nov 24, 2019

Nov 24, 2019 at 11:44 PM UTC

On Recovery

Recovering is not a ski lift sailing straight up the mountain, it is a hike up and down through tunnels and valleys to try and reach the top of a possibly never ending mountain.

5

I will beat you Yes, I have relapsed and probably will again But I will beat you I will beat you into the ground so hard, that you will never think of afflicting an innocent twelve year old, like you did me I am still fighting you Its been two years, one year of me trying to get better I wish I could take you on the mat Beat the living daylights out of you I should not crave pain That is not a natural human impulse But it is now mine Because of you If I feel any emotion You whisper in my ear to ________ That is not normal, I know it's not How do I change it I try so hard But you, so often, try harder I will beat you, ________, if it is the last thing I ever do.

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Dec 27, 2018

Dec 27, 2018 at 11:23 PM UTC

Beat

I will beat you Yes, I have relapsed and probably will again But I will beat you I will beat you into the ground so hard, that you will never think of afflicting an innocent twelve year old, like you did me I am still fighting you Its been two years, one year of me trying to get better I wish I could take you on the mat Beat the living daylights out of you I should not crave pain That is not a natural human impulse But it is now mine Because of you If I feel any emotion You whisper in my ear to ________ That is not normal, I know it's not How do I change it I try so hard But you, so often, try harder I will beat you, ________, if it is the last thing I ever do.

19