You know,
Emotions are both a blessing and a curse,
they make you feel like a king of the universe,
but sometimes your heart starts to waver,
and suddenly you feel like a garbage container.
What is this thing that I hold in my chest,
and why do I always act at it’s behest,
why do I experience such peace,
every time I act like it’s chess piece.
You see these things befuddle me daily,
but I still cannot disobey it plainly,
I want to break free of it’s hold,.
Happiness is like a ladder,
the higher you climb,
the more devastating the fall,
that is the reality in this lame world,
Will the mind and the heart ever be one line,
or are they not meant to be intertwined,
can I be happy without one or the other,
this one question I cannot uncover.
Why does the mind get to speak,
but the heart stays silent,
the only way for another to hear it,
is for the mind to these feelings transmit.
What if the mind is unfit,
to these feelings ever emit,
why does such a heavy burden exist,
why can’t the heart and the mind just coexist.
@kiyyascribbles
Aug 23, 2022
Aug 23, 2022 at 4:02 PM UTC
my anxiety is the reason i don't talk to you.
My anxiety tells me ; "kiyya you gonna lose her, ready yourself" i fought it off but still
My relationship with anxiety is an ongoing battle with chains I try and break daily. It is debilitating at times, but I too am ‘determined to knock her out of our house’. I don't handle conflict well, its cause i have to fight with her (my anxiety) before I could fight with you. When everyone leaves, she is the only relationship i could count on, the longest relationship i have ever been on.
She(my anxiety) sometimes interferes with my meaningful relationships. She and I really don’t get along as well trust me, I would break up with her, but she is me and how can I abandon myself? She shuns others away. It’s safer with just me and anxiety.
But, i hate to lose you,
I don't, and i can't.
But you seem okay with it.
Aug 23, 2022
Aug 23, 2022 at 4:01 PM UTC
I'm here for the growth, the brightening, the weathering, And the hurdling for all of you.
I'll love you more in the spring, when you're growing and flowering,
when you're attempting to replace cold with warmth,
And when you're regenerating pieces of yourself.
I'll love you when you are summer,
When you're beaming bright and don't feel the need to cover your heart with a blanket,
When you're expressing all the warmth you have within.
I'll adore you when you're autumn,
When you're losing your skin,
When you're naked and vulnerable,
When you're changing and weathering.
I'll love you when you are winter,
When you're cold and bitter with the outside world,
When you're terrified of the fractures in your soul,
And it feels like the darkness will never cease.
Come as you are, and I will adore you in any season.
Dec 19, 2021
Dec 19, 2021 at 6:16 AM UTC
We kinda share the same sorrow, and sometimes despondency
I feel it stoutly and firmly
There's a special vulnerability in that
A knowing
that surpasses and overshadow all knowing
An empathy
that surpasses and outstrip all empathy
It can't be undone
And so often I just want to hold you
and let my softness for you
live in your heart and soul
Nov 28, 2021
Nov 28, 2021 at 10:14 AM UTC
Broken soul
Pick through the broken soul and wrecked dreams for the truths that lie between. Ages of our pain and sorrow sheltered in mental hollows. Caverns for our self pity and self loathing.
Firm through the broken soul and dispersed dreams for the hope that lies beneath. Buried glimmers of what-if locked away before they could be snuffed out. We protect the things we treasure the most by never letting them see the light of day.
But "we" means "me" and now you hold the key. Guard it tenaciously; my goodwill alone protects you from being cut. Broken hearts and soul have jagged edges.
@kiyyascribbles
at October 31, 2021
Nov 6, 2021
Nov 6, 2021 at 2:53 PM UTC
Dear future wife:
Here is the thing,
As I look into eternity I see your face
You are my universe my time and space
For if I slip from your hand I fall from grace
To die slowly in some hidden place
All my dreams are inspired by your touch
Oh my darling I love you so longingly I love you so much
Be body lame and beaten yet I walk with joy you as my crutch
As a mother and child ,as God and his creation I love you as such
When the dust of time has settled, the ashes of life blown away
When the sun has finally set and night no longer gives birth to day
When the dark is forever silent,no stories to tell ,visions to see words to say
When even Gods command holds no sway
Our love our love shall always find a way
So fear not my dear ,my dear do not fear
Let your smile hold no sadness may your dreams be full your eyes shed not a tear
For no matter how far the present may seem I am always here
No matter how lonely the night I am always near
Till the heavens cease to be bright
Till the strong lose their might
And the blind regain sight
In a starless universe you are my starlight
And if I die I shall die in your arms
If I drown I shall drown in your charms
For my future is written upon your palms
All my strength all my blood runs through your arms
For you are my faith my hope the only thing in which I believe
In a world full of lies and broken promises you I will never deceive
You my all I can never leave
For you are my breath when I have ceased to breath.
@kiyyascribbles
May 28, 2021
May 28, 2021 at 9:56 AM UTC
You know,
Emotions are both a blessing and a curse,
they make you feel like a king of the universe,
but sometimes your heart starts to waver,
and suddenly you feel like a garbage container.
What is this thing that I hold in my chest,
and why do I always act at it’s behest,
why do I experience such peace,
every time I act like it’s chess piece.
You see these things befuddle me daily,
but I still cannot disobey it plainly,
I want to break free of it’s hold,.
Happiness is like a ladder,
the higher you climb,
the more devastating the fall,
that is the reality in this lame world,
Will the mind and the heart ever be one line,
or are they not meant to be intertwined,
can I be happy without one or the other,
this one question I cannot uncover.
Why does the mind get to speak,
but the heart stays silent,
the only way for another to hear it,
is for the mind to these feelings transmit.
What if the mind is unfit,
to these feelings ever emit,
why does such a heavy burden exist,
why can’t the heart and the mind just coexist.
@kiyyascribbles
May 27, 2021
May 27, 2021 at 9:43 AM UTC
people be saying:
“Defacing your temple of Lord.”
“Vandalizing your skin.”
“Marking up your body.”
“A mistake you’ll come to regret.”
“It's ugly, it’s stupid, it makes no sense.”
God gave me a mind, filled with light and color and ideas and beauty. And he gave me a body, plain and simple like a blank canvas asking to be colorized.
I stain my skin with ink because I think it is beautiful.
My body is covered with marks from a needle, not a knife. This is the way I choose to feel, think and share with the world. You ought to be glad that my way is not another.
And how could I regret painting my skin in a way that brings me such happiness?
You look at these lines and squiggles and all you see is dirt. Maybe to you, there is no rhyme or reason to the pictures that I so carefully choose, but every mark has its story. Maybe if you’d ask, I’d share them with you?
I color my flesh.
Have fun, have a voice,
Express my thoughts without using words.
A permanent reminder of what I stand for,
A protest of the things I do not.
This is my body and I do as I please.
Could it be you who is wrong
For reprimanding me from wanting the world to see
That I am not perfect,
But in imperfection, beauty can still be found?
Could it be you who needs to open your mind
And your heart to new ideas
So although you all treat my tattoos to be taboo
If I wish to paint my skin, that is what I will do.
Mar 30, 2021
Mar 30, 2021 at 1:41 PM UTC