Trapped in an age
Of what is wrong and what is right
It occurred to me
That I do not belong in here
The purity of my being
Despises
This electronic paradise
I wish for a remedy
To be in love
And feel emotion again
When all I'm capable of now
Is holding myself to a standard
Of everyday chatter
Stuck in my head
Repeating phrases
That aren't so lovely
I wonder if I can find
A fix for my thoughts
Hiding away into daydreams
Seems like the right thing to do
When all I can feel is dissapointment
In the modern world
Press record and skitter
Into a world of your flawless self
In this I'm lost
Must I be like this
I'm tired
Sep 12, 2020
Sep 12, 2020 at 3:23 PM UTC
Hot tears spill
despite the efforts of my fists
deep in my eye sockets.
Even behind the void,
my sensitivity escapes.
Even when I think I've outgrown it,
it comes back like a curl around my heart.
If only I could black out
without causing them any worries,
and in my greatest passion
to deal with my pain,
there's still something left to criticize.
If only I could show
how flawed I am.
Prove that I'm not the perfect child
they hoped for.
If only I could stop feeling
the world around me
as a burden in my chest.
Jun 26, 2020
Jun 26, 2020 at 8:43 AM UTC
I write so my history is never forgotten
I cried because of all the things I couldn't become to satisfy you
I laughed when I realised I can do much better than just satisfy you
I can bring you to your knees
make you bleed my name from your lips just for a touch of my cosmic beauty
stars have exploded within me
for years I have battled waking up to hate myself
but I am no longer a stone
but a star
I write so I never forget who I was
I was broken
small
insignificant
and now I'm your biggest nightmare
a string of light you want to be under
but I dont let you
for you have underestimated me years prior
you will not get a feel of my warmth
remember that
Apr 21, 2020
Apr 21, 2020 at 8:19 AM UTC
It does not matter
how much time I'll spend
recovering from my mistakes,
as long as I do carry out
a revolution from under my fingertips.
This paper,this is my proof,
that I'll never give up on
the power of youth,
who all got their dreams taken away.
In this chaos,
I will find harmony,
and halls of golden ideas
and strings of fate
will dance under the light
of millions of candles.
Remember my words,
for you will read them
one day,after all ends,
and they will remind you of
the days you used to hold back your power.
I do not dictate
how you might think,
but I will make you proud of the flame
within you.
Sadly,
there are not many of us
willing to lose
our precious trained minds.
Not many of us
willing to give power
to the cosmic yearnings
inside our chests.
Apr 13, 2020
Apr 13, 2020 at 9:07 AM UTC
I carry with me
a light of hope
for a better tomorrow
but that tomorrow never comes
I cannot stand
lying to myself
Yet I cannot watch
myself become this weak
There arises a war
within oneself;
At one moment
a wish for something otherworldly
and another
the indifference
Put to a halt whatever
it is that you think you can do;
make ammends
and become at peace
with your inability to feel whole
There is a hole
an insatiable void
inside your mortal body
Minutes ticking by
you no longer are young and filled with hope
Apr 13, 2020
Apr 13, 2020 at 8:55 AM UTC
The sweat dripping from my temples
tastes rather sweet when I realise
you will be bathing in the blood of your veins
I will rip the laughter out of you
it will become jealousy
Apr 13, 2020
Apr 13, 2020 at 8:25 AM UTC
I'm the river
in which you have found yourself
I will overbear you with my love
There it is!
blooming in my chest
a soft lotus springing from underneath all this melancholy
overflowing
radiating
as I give away pieces of myself I'll never regret
I've waited on the right person
to take all my heart
I'm filled
with content
-I'm here to show you that you're lovable
Apr 10, 2020
Apr 10, 2020 at 1:47 PM UTC
Lately I've been seeing the world as black and white
as if you either get what you want or dont get it
but inbetween I found moments of joy
when you get what you didnt want,but needed
Apr 10, 2020
Apr 10, 2020 at 8:16 AM UTC
I hope the world will see your happiness
I wish they witness it all
and I wanna stand by your side
and bathe in your glory
and I wanna say
that you are my best friend
Apr 10, 2020
Apr 10, 2020 at 8:03 AM UTC
I breathe in this uncomfortable terror
of waking up every morning,
and giving up on changing my world.
I breathe out this comfortable discomfort,
that is me knowing I can do better,
yet I feel as if I have no control whatsoever.
Apr 9, 2020
Apr 9, 2020 at 10:52 AM UTC