I wanted to be more than a king, not a God
I wanted to rule more than the world, not the universe
I wanted to marry the prettiest, not a princess
I wanted to ride more than a horse, not a dragon
I wanted to be more than free, not an eagle
I wanted more than treasure, not life
I wanted to be more than a lover, not a poet
I wanted to be more than hot, perhaps the amaterasu...
May 27, 2025
May 27, 2025 at 9:39 AM UTC
I can drop one thing to pick another
I can pick one thing when I have another
It's just a dream I tell myself
As I recall the words playing hula hoop in my head
It's just a dream...
It doesn't matter what I want
Because once I have it I want something better
Because an old woman told me I'm handsome
And I knew my choices would be temporal
I knew I'd always be searching for something brighter...
In the light of day
And the beauty in the northern lights
Cause I'm a loner trying to cover up the reality
But reality is sleeping in the dark hoping for someone to pull me out
Cause sometimes I push people away too fair forget I need them
And for so long I've been fixing people's broken parts...
That I've forgotten how to fix mine.
May 6, 2025
May 6, 2025 at 3:52 AM UTC
I do not die...I do not sleep
But loneliness kills me with a mental dent
And I fall on a paradox to the inch of the floor
As little happy faces make me envy the warmth I long for
I do not breathe...i do not sleep
I'm just a little doll
With small hands and fabric skin
They call me names like a toy that ring
But I'm a rusting doll starving in a room
They use me whenever they need to
And dump me back in this dark scary room
And when months skims to July...
They seek for me
Those wretched humans
Their hands itch for my body
But my cold fabric skin urge for warmth
And so my helplessness gives in
As my feelings pour out and unfolds like dandelions
Their warmth
Their tasty grace
Their souls intertwining mine
And their strong breathing that sounds like a tempest
All these things I envy...
But when winter breaks I'm thrown away...back to the room
Like a litter in a ***** street
I stand on the window
As the sun touches the surface of the earth
And I see other toys in the backyard
And I panic on these heavy scars
That crawl through my cheap violet threads
Oh I'm a rusting doll tearing pieces of my sadness
Dwindling ecstasy from the warm courtesy of hands
The diligence I envy from them
But I'm only a rusting doll hiding behind the heavy door...
A lone soul in a musty fabric skin
Aug 21, 2020
Aug 21, 2020 at 11:15 AM UTC
You don’t remember me
Cause time forgets
Time hates me
I guess you hate me too
I miss your lips
And the times you kissed me goodnight
You where a good kisser
Let's say you're happy
And I'm still crazy about you
Let's say we met
Just to see ourselves again
Just to count our faults
From the work of our fiction
To my dazzled eviction
And it wouldn't matter if it works this time
But even if i wished that it did
We'd still seem broken...
Cause time forgets
And time hates me
I guess you'd still hate me too
Aug 21, 2020
Aug 21, 2020 at 10:49 AM UTC
I'm always searching for you
In the fabrics of your clothes
In the narrow roads we've walked
And places we sat
I'm always searching for your comfort
In the warmth of your hugs
Sweet taste of your lips
Always searching for your familiarity
In the faces of people
On this blank date
Aug 21, 2020
Aug 21, 2020 at 10:11 AM UTC
The darkest shade of black
Is a memory you don't want to remember
That dark apocalypse you think of
with compression of thoughts preoccupied in the brain
Or like grey matter enwrapped together...slowly twitching away
To the god of death...not today
But I screamed scratching my nails against the wall of my room
My body itched and I tore my clothes apart
It was the worst kind of pain
And I screamed more as more scars registered on my body
I couldn't stop scratching my skin
It was as if something inside was trying to get out
My parents watched as they held their hands
They had called a priest that night
But this wasn't a matter of priest but faith
I spent next few days locked in a psychiatric hospital
And I was overdosed over and over
Four people were needed to restrain me
And they'd put twenty injections to succumb me
To the priest I was possessed
To science I was ill
To me I was dead
Feb 29, 2020
Feb 29, 2020 at 7:27 AM UTC
I'm a lone stranger
Drawing closer to death
With fragments of solidarity
And sour scent of cream and of birth
I'm a forlorn stranger
In a world born of death
So birth contemplates soil
Of elevated heavens and depressed hell
I'm a lowborn stranger
With dark little poems and noble anger
My body and soul
Are of salt and dust
And to my fall
Comes my elevated call
Of heathens and evanescence
I'm a lost stranger
Without memory of reminiscence
I open my mouth
With voice frozen on girth
And only my last breath…
Speaks louder than my birth
I'm a torn stranger
With a hat and a soul
A boot and a craw
What else…
Is there to know
Nov 9, 2019
Nov 9, 2019 at 7:24 AM UTC
Who calmly clings to his being
Like a lover to a rose
And sadden by sudden sadness
I'm half sick assaulted and gross
I'm not a monster
Or human as you see me
I'm a creature that blends in
Systems of old system
I exist in forms of pain
I exist as a persona of personalities
But I'm not the enneagram
I'm the architect of architects
I'm the melagra with chains
And author of those pains
Nov 9, 2019
Nov 9, 2019 at 7:22 AM UTC
Dear little poem...
I write you on a piece of paper
With fifty shredded retries in a bin
With red blood in my vein poisoned
And black ink in my pen spilled...
I'm a psychopath...a demon that eats the daily light
A zombie infected with a virus called love...
And I fantasize everyday about who i was
As I keep hitting my head into this wall
For answers without questions
Because I know...I'm a freak who doesn't know anything about love
Even though you would be standing on my door with bruises i cause
Just to apologize on my behalf...
I don't think I stole your heart
Murdered is a right term
And jailed in eternity of regrets
And now you're packing up this garbage of sweet nothings
Called memories to whatever distance relationship they call six feet under
Dear little poem...
I admit I'm a sucker who can't admit his shame
Cause I'm a crazy cursed twisted insane and creepy ******* with a rotten heart attached to these...stitches skipping every drum beat breathing every tantrum of breath
And Crazy **** I said
Whenever I was sad, mad and angry
But really whenever I had to rewrite my inborn mistakes
From your beginning smile to my ending regrets...
Thinking I've puked enough from that beer
Leaving my rage showing you the true ugliness contained in my eyes
From this melagra
Which is hard to feel
And I'm under suffocation, cause you left me numb
Visualizing you on plain paper without super vision
You said the flower faded...from riddles to ancient youth hidden in you
The same love I shredded...
But that's pointless
The fact is... I never deserved you...
And now I'm eating off my own white shadow
Caged in you with birds of thorns singing hallelujahs drowned in my own worries...
I guess all I'm trying to say are my sincere apologies
Nov 8, 2019
Nov 8, 2019 at 4:09 PM UTC
Love was enough...between us
You know it was
I was a boy with only…a dollar in my pocket
And We'd skip school
In the early summers
And I'd pull you near
And i'd whisper those words you were…eager to hear from me
On the banks of that lake
Where every word got to you
I knew you that well
I knew your heart
But only that time…when Love was enough
Nov 8, 2019
Nov 8, 2019 at 4:03 PM UTC