The first pang is small
Like the bite of bug
Then you can feel the pain crawl
Suddenly your dragging
The empty feeling lashing
In you gut
No more you cry
No more tears
The begging of why
Though the darkness never replied
The silence is screaming
You pray to just be dreaming
The silence is screaming
The comes a whisper cutting in
Those voices, you're wearing thin
The voices are deeming
Their scheming!
You can't take what their dealing
Just make it stop
Stop the shadow looming above
Your ear makes a pop
To **** this crud
You bet for any drug
But it's futile and painful
The doctor doesn't approve
Nothing can't be removed
You hear their breathing
Their whispering
You cry for their disappearing
But that dream isn't nearing!
Nothing is curing
Your only fearing
The sadness won't be clearing
Then you see the razor
A careless, simple razor
Maybe just a graze or,
A slice
Just one you question
And they agree
Just one run, now two
You can see the desolation
But they SCREAM to make it ******
The cuts keep coming through and through
They get quieter and quieter
You wonder their silence
Then you see the razor slowing
The key is glowing
A blood drop or two for their compliance
Nothing had ever felt tighter
You are no fighter
So you grip that razor tighter
Till they come back
If only the support hugged you back
Maybe then this wouldn't be so lonely
Maybe you'd be happy
Maybe you'd be ok
Maybe... You wouldn't be here in the first place
Jul 22, 2019
Jul 22, 2019 at 1:30 PM UTC
Flowers danced on the rings of Saturn
Chocolate melted under the blizzarding snow,
The hills would let me sing and turn
and under the stars my heart would grow.
Fields of white and pure
Layers of love hugs
No longer confusion i am sure
and a kiss upon my lips brings me to tug.
Suddenly FLASH!
A danger pass
BING! BANG! CRASH!
Walking an empty class.
They run and chase!
THERE IS NO ESCAPE!
Blood soaks my clothes,
Off to the light it goes.
Tears are streaming,
Children are screaming
Forced to stop dreaming
The voices are scheming!
Suddenly my eyes open,
I am crying a river
and my heart races.
My breathing is shallow.
I scan my walls of closure,
flashes still race through me
such a horrible way,
to wake up screaming.
Aug 28, 2018
Aug 28, 2018 at 12:00 PM UTC
Ring... Ding...
Those bells, do you hear them?
Listen! Listen closely and you will.
Ring... Ding...
There they go again.
Surely you must hear them now Must you?
Ring... Ding...
I'm not going crazy!
They are there, I can hear them!
Ring... Ding...
That was four!
Listen to me please, believe me!
Ring... Ding...
What happens when it reaches twelve?!
Oh goodness please let me go!
Ring... Ding...
They are ringing again and again!
Six times, six I tell you!
Ring... Ding...
They yell like the voices of melting angels!
They are breaking please!
Ring... Ding...
Tell me that I am crazy when you are deaf!
They ring I tell you they do!
Ring... Ding...
Eight, they are screaming!
They scream, Oh how they scream!
Ring... Ding...
They are growing closer!
They are screaming louder!
Ring... Ding...
Oh please make them stop please!
They are too much oh please!
Ring... Ding...
Oh they are coming!
Please don't let them come!
Ring... Ding...
It is the last one!
They have come, they are here!
Miss, I am terribly sorry that I must now inform you that your son has died in action on the battlefield. I know this is much, but I must ask where you wish to bury him.
Mar 16, 2018
Mar 16, 2018 at 11:30 AM UTC
You think that you know me.
You think that you understand me.
You think that you know what I think.
You believe that you know who I am.
But you have no idea.
How many times have I taken peoples thoughts to my heart?
How many times have my own thoughts plagued my dreams?
How many of my owm dreams did I crush because of the demons that I created?
How many times did I cry myself to sleep?
How many times have I drawn words on my own body that discrimated me?
How many faces do I show everyday to mask the pain that you and I inflict on my mind and body?
Do you know how many times I've held a knife to myself?
Do you know how many times I've dreamed of spilling the crimson liquid that runs in your veins?
Do you know how many demons I have created for myself?
The truth is always there...
I always scream it to you...
But you don't see...
You don't know how many voices live in my head that match yours!
You don't know how many tears that I have shed because if you!
You will never know how many ropes I have tied around my neck to remind me that I am still alive!
So let me ask you...
How many times did you blame me!?
How many times did you tell me that I was no good!?
How many times did you force me to change myself!?
You will never understand how many times I've looked at death as a friend.
You will never understand how you hurt me!
And you will never understand why I wish that I had never been born!
So, when I am grown, and when I have a family of my own, I promise that I will never treat them that way.
I promise that I will never make them look at the mirror defeated.
I promise that I will never let them face their demons alone.
But, most of all,
I will never forget the very reason that I make these promises. I will never forget my promises. And I will never forget to stare at you, and smile when I finally see the day that you realize how you ****** up.
Nov 18, 2017
Nov 18, 2017 at 9:48 PM UTC
The earth nurtures me.
It carries the mist in my soul,
Out of an outline.
In a space to blank.
My weight leaves.
My features disappear.
It feels empty,
But whole.
The water floats me gently.
It rushes my pain.
Out my whole it runs.
To be smothered gently.
My weight leaves.
My features disappear.
It feels empty,
But whole.
The fire melts me.
A liquid in heat,
That flows out smooth.
A shot so warm it welcomes.
My weight leaves.
My features disappear.
It feels empty,
But whole.
The air carries me.
To fly and fall but remain in place.
She whispers gently,
And I feel loved.
My weight leaves.
My features disappear.
It feels empty,
But whole.
My ground is gone,
And instead I am whole.
Dragons dance in my soul,
And flowers sing in my mind.
My weight leaves.
My features disappear.
It feels empty,
But whole.
I shall dream and wish.
Endless I sleep when awake.
I cry when happy,
And I scream when safe.
My weight leaves.
My features disappear.
It feels empty,
But whole.
It all becomes a lie,
In all eyes undignified.
Perhaps it is too soon
For innocence of youth.
My weight leaves.
My features disappear.
It feels empty,
But whole.
You laugh and mock,
While the music carries,
The soul to paradise so pure.
While life rots in sickness.
My weight leaves.
My features disappear.
It feels empty,
But whole.
She calls my name.
She whispers gently.
She melts me,
Floats me,
And nurtures me.
Identity I have,
But features I leave behind.
For in those eyes,
We are one.
My weight leaves.
My features disappear.
It feels empty,
But whole.
Oct 23, 2017
Oct 23, 2017 at 9:46 PM UTC
Days pass through nights.
The leaves blows through the wind.
A dream shoots through stars.
A heart beats in a pulse.
The stars gleam in the day,
The heat sways in the night,
The water twists in the desert,
The sweetness of the sugar free cake.
I never asked to be different.
I never dreamed of being lost.
But every turn that I try,
leads me down that line.
I wanted to belong,
I wanted to be free.
But like the man chasing me,
It's my obsession.
A backward life slips along
The fire burns dull
A tear becomes dry
A dream is empty.
The daughter raises the mother.
The son h teaches the father.
The victim murders the killer.
The page draws on the pencil.
I never asked to be different.
I never dreamed of being lost.
But every turn that I try,
leads me down that line.
I wanted to belong.
I wanted to be free.
But like the man chasing me,
It's my obsession.
Nobody said I had to be perfect.
Nobody told me to be sane.
Nobody asked me to be the queen.
Nobody taught me to be proper.
Nobody offered me my milk and cookies.
Nobody ever offered me my slice of life.
Nobody ever gave me my money.
Nobody ever gave me my dreams.
I never asked for anything from you.
I never asked for a hug,
A kiss
A story
Love.
I never asked to be different.
I never dreamed of being lost.
But every turn that I try,
leads me down that line.
I wanted to belong.
I wanted to be free.
But like the man chasing me,
It became my obsession.
May 31, 2017
May 31, 2017 at 1:52 PM UTC
He who is lost upon the bank
A river streaming through his blood.
Tonight he screams,
A body no more
A shell so empty and vacant without a single dream.
May he be of she.
She who walks and never moves
A pool of tears fall from the sky upon her.
Tomorrow she cries
A whole being lost
A broken being in nothing but emptiness without love
May she be of he
They walk feeling numb
They hold nothing in their hands
Now they shout
A human I am
A being with a past, a present, and a future.
May we be whole of us.
May 11, 2017
May 11, 2017 at 4:39 PM UTC
A swish of wind by the ear.
A single glance, a single beat.
A meer meeting in eyes.
A single word, so casual.
A single smile, melting into liquid fire.
A single hug, so warm.
A single question, so sweet.
A single dress, swaying gently.
A single dinner, so satisfying.
A single month passing by.
A simple kiss, sweet and small.
A single word, so simple.
A single year going forward.
A kiss, a hug, a dream.
A single tear, one of joy.
A single ring, gleaming bright.
A single promise, a vow.
A single dress, purity in color.
A single child, beyond perfect.
A simple life, one so beautiful.
A single heart beat, Now two.
A beat, Heart Beat.
May 11, 2017
May 11, 2017 at 4:39 PM UTC