Feeling trapped in myself
So I venture
Into my favorite place, the forest.
Never before has my heart
stayed scared in such a sacred place
Until now
As I wander..
I wonder, I worry..
Will my clap killing mosquitoes attract a bear?
A man? Or worse...
I follow the news,
I listen to true crime,
I know...
I know Im not safe in the place that's always been a shelter to me.
The great and sacred trees know many wisdoms, and all of time...
Yet they cant predict the future.
The wrapping roots warn me
To run.
Run for my safety,
Run for my future...
And the little girl trapped in my past,
Who I've done all of this for.
Shes the reason I fight to survive...
But I cant leave the future I've carved out of nothing...
Where would I go?
Is it worth risking everything again?
I wish it would all go away.
Im so scared. The trees are supposed to shelter me from life
and yet my heart still races.
Maybe God is real... Maybe He can help me
Maybe I am cursed... Maybe I am destined to die young..
Maybe.. I'll never know all the answers.
But 200 years from now
when my bones are buried, come to the woods-- ask them about me.
Jun 16, 2025
Jun 16, 2025 at 8:16 PM UTC
You said, "I'll take you forever-
Love and cherish, protect you as my own child"-
But you must've lied
Because when my life got hard,
Messy
And scary,
You walked away. And threw me out.
I reached out .
Maybe too late
you disowned me, .
Prayed for my downfall.
Then fed me to wolves...
My own mother.
Jun 10, 2025
Jun 10, 2025 at 9:15 PM UTC
I just want to stop it all--
become one with the void;
walking deep,
deep into the night and never wake up.
Never to return.
<-----Evaporate-----> into the fog
I would visit on foggy, nostalgic mornings
a welcoming blanket
to akin souls
and the vanish
just like that...
becoming one with nature
finally allowing
all my emotions to bloom bigger
than my carnal cage...
I will be one with my soul
(finally)
The wind purging my humanity leaving only purity behind.
Purity of truth.
that feeling that we are one;
complete within ourselves but holy together.
(finally)
Reaching the spark that we are all one.
All divine.
all love.
All kind.
All truth stems
from this simple Purity:
Of Wind,
Of Water,
Of Sorrow,
Of Longing,
Of Desire,
Of Uncertainty.
For I am rain, and you are wind, water, earth;
For I am fire, yet I extinguish myself.
This paradox leaves me empty and searching
Here the void calls
I must set down my pen
Soon.
for the void shall take me.
Any torture,
any pain,
confusion,
anxiety,
distress,
depression, even
fear, all reabsorbed
by the warmth of the night.
The dark trees...?
are welcoming you;
protecting your journey.
The dark crows...?
are kind souls;
cheering you on.
The dark thoughts...?
are left behind;
no longer yours to hold.
I step into the night
to become one with my soul.
Nov 23, 2024
Nov 23, 2024 at 4:36 PM UTC