Of all life's regrets,
The biggest is words left unsaid.
So send one final text.
Free your last thoughts instead.
Apr 26, 2017
Apr 26, 2017 at 1:52 AM UTC
The house would echo with screams
As you chased him though the house.
He was terrified by the knife in your hand, but that only made it more fun.
Everytime his mother was gone
The game began again.
Until she found out and you hit her.
That was 11 years ago.
You were 26.
He's still waiting to see you again
With his knife sharpened.
Is this hatred?
Sleep until 3:30, walk to the gas station,
Buy a 12 pack and a carton of Camel.
Your son's mother worked 10 hour shifts,
So he had to stay at your house during the day.
You would already be drunk or high,
When he was begging for food that wasn't there.
"Wait until you leave" was the reply.
That was 7 years ago.
You were 32.
Now you're spending life in prison for ******
He only looks up the obituary, waiting for your day.
Is this hatred?
The dorm room is silent for once.
The only sound is your heavy breathing.
It's the fourth panic attack this week,
And your hand can't take much more.
It's still bandaged from two nights ago.
Every night you look in the mirror
To see the man your past created and cringe.
That was an hour ago.
You are 18.
Blue-green eyes are staring back at you,
All you see is regret, disgust, and apathy.
Is this hatred?
Apr 24, 2017
Apr 24, 2017 at 1:26 AM UTC
Last night I dreamed of you.
There you were, right in front of me.
I heard your unfamiliar laugh.
I saw your once real smile.
I recognized the look of uncertain joy.
I swore I could feel you if I had just reached out and tried.
I didn't though.
Last night I dreamed of you.
For the first time it wasn't a nightmare,
Nor some long forgotten memory.
Everything was as it ever was.
A simple moment in the time that was us.
A truly peaceful moment absent of all actions besides existing.
It was purely nothing but itself.
That nothingness brought bliss in a way that is unable to be described.
I considered trying to save that feeling.
I didn't though.
Last night I dreamed of you.
After I woke I tried to remember you.
Who you were.
Not who you are,
Or who I think you will be.
I tried to remember who you were
To remind me who I was.
I wanted to find you and myself,
Everything and everyone I'm looking for.
I didn't though.
Last night I dreamed of you.
Tonight I won't.
Apr 14, 2017
Apr 14, 2017 at 1:20 AM UTC
In this moment of silence,
I think on how it's almost a new year.
But I'm not ready to leave this one.
My year with you.
Jan 1, 2016
Jan 1, 2016 at 12:52 AM UTC
I don't know if it's lust or hatred
Loneliness or happiness,
Or jealousy mixed with envy.
That makes me miss you so.
My dreams and nightmares are plagued with your disease.
I am weary with you.
Your sadistic smile
Makes me so joyful,
And all I hear is dread.
Longing for that touch leaves me worried.
Pride and arrogance always stood in my way.
You show me how to feel cruel.
That makes me miss that fright
Nov 6, 2015
Nov 6, 2015 at 12:54 AM UTC
Hey Mom, I wrote you a song tonight.
Just so you know how much I miss you.
Hey Mom, I promise I'm alright.
You're not much of a talker, me too.
But I'll just be waiting til you get home.
Yeah, I'm just here alone.
It's nothing new.
You know it's true.
Hey Mom, I hope you're having fun.
I miss you now but there's nothing wrong.
Hey Mom, when will you be done?
I'm laying here listening to our old songs.
Would you come home soon maybe?
I promise I haven't gone crazy.
Living alone doesn't mean I'm not alright.
I just miss you badly tonight.
Apr 25, 2015
Apr 25, 2015 at 1:26 AM UTC
Hello Old Friend.
How have you been?
It's been awhile since I last seen those tears.
I just want you've known
That my feelings have not grown
We've just changed thoughout the years.
I say I love you, that's a lie.
At times I still wish you would die.
I don't mean to sound that rude, I'm wrong.
Your blue-green eyes are full of pain.
It makes me wonder if you're still sane.
That's a lie, I know you've been ****** up all along.
We use to be so much better.
I thought you were very clever.
You fooled them all, even me.
I wish I could go back and make it clearer,
But I'm talking to the mirror
At the destroyed boy I see.
Apr 3, 2015
Apr 3, 2015 at 1:08 AM UTC
Sarcastic lies roll of my tongue.
The words are not sweet.
They're painful.
I love it.
I still see those eyes and wonder why.
Do you honestly regret me?
I regret myself.
Whatever.
I act the way I do to prove myself to you.
Prove I'm not weak and helpless.
I should be proud of myself.
Yet I feel the opposite.
My mind's metamorphosis, I was new.
Left my old life due to all the sadness.
I've tried cutting off bad branches.
Turns out it was all along.
I'm not asking for forgiveness, that's gone
Instead let's try to make a new life.
No more complaining about it.
You and I, let's be happy.
Feb 9, 2015
Feb 9, 2015 at 1:16 AM UTC
I write about the end because I'm scared of the present.
I don't wanna think of tomorrow, the thoughts aren't pleasant.
Forget about sleeping,
I'll just wake up weeping.
Can't handle the thoughts seeping,
My demons are too busy reaping.
"HELP ME!" My voice is shaking,
My mind and body are both breaking.
I could die and nobody would hear.
My screams were silent, I didn't even have tears.
Dec 15, 2014
Dec 15, 2014 at 12:09 AM UTC
Suicidal tendencies
My shirts may be green
But I don't seem to be too lucky
The puddle of purity turned murky.
I have no faith in Gods or people.
Everything nowadays just seem evil.
I'm no different.
I admit it.
I like to smile when I hear you get ******
My emotions are gone but they aren't missed.
Um hi, my name is Dayton.
I'm a weird fellow who pretends I'm on a permanent vacation.
I may have ideas and wishes
But you can tell I'm not ambitious.
I'm ******* loony*
I wanna go all cartoony.
Drop all ideals of common sense,
Conform to the insanity that corrupted my innocence.
You can't see me, I wear my cloak well.
Meanwhile I'm trapped in my own Hell
Knock four times to grab my attention.
I don't mean to ignore you, it isn't my intention.
It just happens when I get lost in thought.
Maybe I'll just get stuck in it and simply rot.
I'm not that stupid though,
I understand when is enough and I should go.
They say good men die young.
What about all the bad who should be hung?
Do we let them live out of generosity or anger?
We let them live their days as a broken shell with without danger.
These are just the ramblings of a mad man.
Just be another lost picture, a "has been".
Another fool who's imagination plays tricks
Deceives all the sane people and turns them sick.
Did you say happiness?
I call it beautiful ignorance.
Maybe I just have a mind of a critical hypocrite.
It's something I hate and just can't live with it.
Dec 13, 2014
Dec 13, 2014 at 12:29 AM UTC