"Pleasure sleeps in the same bed as pain"
So I'm told, but to tell the truth
I don't know if that's a world
Worth living through.
We poets are bad role models.
Burn all your love poems before you fall in love again.
Don't go around taking advice from the dead.
Honey Girl,
There are already too many bruises in your soul
Maybe it's time to give up control and just drift.
The current is always kind to rose blossoms.
Besides, the world is ending,
So we might as well try to find some happiness
In this mess.
We're far too young to care about the past
And far too old to care about the future
I'll gift you my Shakespeare plays,
So you can cut them into pieces.
I'll keep my cane, though.
I'm not ready to break it yet.
The land of the living might be beautiful,
But beauty never meant much to me.
Jul 19, 2022
Jul 19, 2022 at 12:01 PM UTC
When this room disappears,
you'll be gone.
You may excuse me then,
if I stay for another drink.
////This is my emotional growth now////
I tried to deconstruct my self,
but I found so little,
it was easier
to start from the ground-up.
I'm building
the end of the world,
one mistake
at a time.
(The plastic pleasures
never much appealed to me.)
Tomorrow, I'll talk to God.
Tonight, I only wish to feel your skin.
Jun 24, 2022
Jun 24, 2022 at 10:57 PM UTC
If you can hear me,
It's because we share the same air.
Our words live in that which we breathe.
I've lived on your lips,
As you've lived on mine.
We are lovers
Even if it's just for an instant
In a phrase shared
Behind a coffee cup.
Jun 16, 2022
Jun 16, 2022 at 12:13 PM UTC
Open me in half
And you'll find plastic in my lungs
And concrete in my stomach.
It's good to know
After I'm gone
You'll still linger around,
Even if you're just a corpse.
Tell me we are no longer human;
We are consumers,
We are citizens.
And all the angels know,
And all the devils know,
We won't change any time soon.
I want to hurt you,
I want you to hurt me.
I want to curl my hands round your neck
And see the life run away from you
Like you made me run away too.
I felt your shadow while we were making love
And I cried.
I felt your shadow
And I wonder if you can feel my heartbeat.
I'm just as lost as you,
But we all forget
Everyone else is hurting too;
That makes it easy
To open people in half.
Jun 13, 2022
Jun 13, 2022 at 1:18 PM UTC
I've seen people who claim
not to suffer
cry in hotel bathrooms.
To be born without a heart
is merely practical, not fulfilling.
Those who suffer
have an eye for suffering.
As I've gotten older
I've come to understand
life is an exchange;
you lose something,
you get something.
That's a simple deal,
but no one tells you what to do
when something gets back.
Now you're stuck with an old friend
while you're a new you.
You love him,
but you can't stand him.
Guess I'm sorry for growing up.
But **** it,
give me my ghosts
and let them haunt me.
I'm sick and tired of numbing pain.
A gun only stops shooting when you stop reloading it.
Otherwise you've got generational trauma.
**** people who use their pain
as an excuse to hurt someone else.
**** saying pain made you who you are.
Those who glorify pain haven't healed from it.
We're all in a rush
to be disqualified from being human.
I envy those who are comfortable
with that position.
At least they've found something to hold onto.
Guess the rest of use just have to start over.
Call it a Perestroika of the heart,
call it tearing down the walls,
or don't call it anything.
Only thing that matters is to stop the bullet.
Jun 4, 2022
Jun 4, 2022 at 3:57 PM UTC
We are all kids
Looking through windows,
Wondering if someone could come out and play with us.
But no one ever does.
I'll burn the forest with your hair
And bend my soul with your lips,
Cause I'm just waiting
For the day I can see you
Without worrying about who's seeing you too.
You got me fighting with my ego.
I never thought I'd feel so lost
Without me.
How does one hold on and let go
At the same time?
Maybe you'll tell me in your heartbeat
I'll keep my head close to your chest,
When we go to sleep.
May 10, 2022
May 10, 2022 at 2:20 PM UTC
I'm very afraid that one day
You'd say you've had enough of me,
That you'll take your things
And move on.
I'm sorry that I think such things.
I've learned a lot about letting go,
But I'm new to holding on.
I educated myself through
Hopeless romantics
That taught me
Life isn't much without pain,
But they never taught me
What to do when pain is gone.
Please don't let me
Push you away.
You are my new teacher
And my heart is yearning to learn
How to feel without fear.
May 3, 2022
May 3, 2022 at 12:53 PM UTC
Broken glasses on the floor
And people sleeping on your rug.
It never ceases to amaze you
That these sort of things happen to you.
It seemed like you
Lived most of your life,
Testing the idea
That friends can be **** too.
But, somehow, there are always people
Offering to buy you cigarettes,
And that scares you
In ways you can't properly express.
You watch the rain fall
From the garden door,
Because going to bed
Means being alone with your thoughts
And you can't imagine
A worse place to be.
Everyday
You say you'll try to be more "normal",
But you don't know what that means anymore.
They told you
That the pills would help,
But that the rest was on you;
You've always felt that the only thing between yourself
And the rest of the world is you.
I miss
Not knowing these things
And hurting myself in the most stupid ways.
I miss not being afraid
Of losing people.
What does that mean?
What if I'm a monster?
What if I don't deserve half of what I have?
What if you found out I think these things?
Apr 29, 2022
Apr 29, 2022 at 2:07 AM UTC
I can feel some flowers
slowly growing in my heart.
I hope they bloom
before winter comes.
The world can be such a terrifying place.
It always seems the prettiest things
are the first to disappear.
I've heard the saddest songs
that the human soul can compose.
But I've also listened to the most beautiful.
Even if the sour notes
lasted longer than the bright ones;
even if time is only measured
by the small windows
in which we can stop crying and look at the sky,
I'd never stop watering my flowers.
Because they are mine,
Because they are all my heart
and because even if life takes everything away from us,
we'll always have flowers.
Apr 27, 2022
Apr 27, 2022 at 5:16 PM UTC
If I smile at you,
Please never think it's because no one smiled at me.
If I hold you,
Please don't wonder if anyone held me.
If I offer you my hand,
Please don't question if it's because I've been on the floor too.
Empathy
Is not
And should not be based
On past experiences.
I've gone through pain,
That's true,
Perhaps more,
Perhaps less than you.
But that's not what informs my heart.
We seem to believe pain and experience are synonyms, they are not.
If I smile at you,
It's because I wish to smile at you,
If I hold you is because I wish to hold you,
If I offer you my hand
It's because I know you don't want to be on the floor.
If I feel for you,
It's because you exist.
I can't run a mile in your shoes,
But that shouldn't mean
I can't tell you have a heart.
Apr 26, 2022
Apr 26, 2022 at 3:46 AM UTC