“Awake”
***** getting deeper and deeper
I cut to the bone
Can’t say that I’m happy
Just feel so alone
Missing my family
Missing my home
Missing the girl
That made me feel whole
Missing the times
Where I never felt empty
My family was fixed
And our wallets were heavy
My life was alright
Id sleep through the night
Yeah I’m missing the times
Where I felt so alive
I feel broken
Happiness was stolen
Where my heart used to be
There’s a hole that’s open
Pop so many pills
feel like overdosing
when night turns to morning
Pray my eyes are still closed
and
I’m lost
Just pray to be found
Feeling emotions
I just wanna feel ground
Smoking this dope
Tying this rope
Kick back the chair
Then I start to choke
It’s a myth
That life is worth living
I’m tired of this
I just wanna give in
Dig me a hole
Don’t wanna grow old
Learning life’s lessons’ like
Digging for gold
So I’ll say
a thousand times
That I’m feeling good
and I’m feeling ******* fine
When I smile
just know it’s a lie
Cause When I’m alone
I just wanna die
I’m sorry mom
I’m sorry dad
Can’t fix the emotions
And the feelings I have
I know that it hurts and I know you’ll be sad
But the way I see things
I’m just another body bag
To my ex
Girl I really miss you
I know I ****** up
I know I got issues
I know I’m a mess
I know that **** hurt you
But the way I live life
I never deserved you
But if you come back
I’ll never desert you
I’ll stop all the drugs
Cause our love had no curfew
We’d sit up for hours
We’d talk lots of ****
You’d say that you love me
Man I miss every bit
Wouldn’t trade what we had
for a life full of fame
Give me one chance
I’ll show you I’ve changed
But the good josh you knew
Yeah he’s still the same
Still don’t believe me
Well I guess I’m to blame
You had a heart
The purest of gold
In my mind
I thought we’d grow old
But after the talks
bout death and defeat
I’m starting to realize
you grew tired of me
You grew tired of me
And I’m still into you
See your smile everyday
****** you look cute
You’re a beaut
I’m a fucken mess
If I get married
Hope it’s you in that dress
You in my life
That’d be a miracle
The connection we had
It was something so spiritual
But you’re gone
And I don’t wanna face that
Rather **** myself
Hope everything fades to black
She’s confused bout the feeling I hide maybe it’s cause I just wanna die
I’m lost and so empty
Yeah I feel so alone
Just waiting for the day
I call heaven my home
Dec 11, 2018
Dec 11, 2018 at 5:13 AM UTC
Been 2 whole months and I miss you like crazy
Wonder why it’s so difficult to live without my baby
I just want your touch girl
You’re my whole world
I miss your gentle kiss
That feeling bliss
a knife cuts my neck
Bleed out for a sec
Pray that I never forget
cause **** I have so many regrets
I miss your soft skin
Your head in my lap
I’d watch you sleep
**** I miss that
**** I miss that..
Dec 4, 2018
Dec 4, 2018 at 4:05 PM UTC
She has blue eyes,
They shine so bright.
She has white teeth that hit the light.
She has blonde hair,
So soft and so fine.
I only wish I could call her mine.
Whenever she smiles,
My heart begins to melt.
I only wish, she could feel the love I’ve felt.
She’s perfect in every way,
She’s unique and so precious.
I only hope one day she sees my poems and knows I really meant this..
Nov 24, 2018
Nov 24, 2018 at 5:51 PM UTC
She holds a note
A letter she wrote
He reads one line
He begins to cry
She meets a man
He’s all alone
She lives a life
He just gets ******
He never knew how to love see she changed him at a time
But what’s love when everything they say might just be another lie
She holds a hand
He holds a knife
Don’t worry kid
It will be alright.
Nov 21, 2018
Nov 21, 2018 at 5:55 PM UTC
Two hands touch
Two people love
One is the world
Ones not enough
Ones growing stronger
The others down in hunger
Praying that one day
He doesn’t wake from his slumber
Ones got it all
All beauty and no flaws
The other has nothing
Except the one that he adores
But now the ones gone
And the others all alone
Praying that one day
That the one will come back home
And when the one returns
If so she happens to do
Just know that this one
Will always love you
Nov 18, 2018
Nov 18, 2018 at 1:17 PM UTC
They say depression only makes you stronger
Well that’s some ********
What’s the point of living live
Without you in it
I never knew how to love
See I’m not that affectionate
But when I had you around
I’d do anything to express it
I read your letter everyday and put it by my heart
That’s where I press it
I know I ****** up god **** I’m a mess, ****
And I’m not really that confident
I have the words but I keep swallowing
Everything I want to say I can’t because I’m just ******* horrible
I’m just a mess
But dont stress
You’ll be better off without me
Cause baby you’re the best
I’m just a freak
A fucken geek
So whats god **** difference in a world without me
Oct 29, 2018
Oct 29, 2018 at 12:31 PM UTC