I’ve never been one for love.
Sure, I’ve been in love,
But I've had more pain than joy.
Willing to walk through a fire,
Just to get some stupid boy.
Until,
He came around.
He brings me peace, love, joy, and laughter,
He makes me believe in a happily ever after.
He gave me hope, faith, and trust.
Hope in love, faith in us, and trust in the world.
Here’s why.
I told him I wanted him.
And everything that makes him, him.
The good. The bad. The ugly.
The memories; sad, loving, embarrassing, funny.
Because I do want him.
And he wants me.
He made me remember,
That love can be good to me.
Dec 15, 2023
Dec 15, 2023 at 9:27 AM UTC
You hurt me.
You’ve placed blame on me,
You’ve beaten me down,
Throwing rocks of anger and disappointment,
Not realizing that
Every.
Single.
Time, that you throw a rock,
You’re chipping away.
You say you want to talk,
But you have to get your way.
Because if you don’t,
You throw a rock.
And another.
And another.
Until there is what feels like nothing left,
So then you can convince me to repay my debt,
Of life.
Of breath.
Of my existence.
So, I picked up a rock.
And you shattered.
Suddenly, you were the victim.
I was “disrespectful,”
I was “out of line,”
But it was nothing knew,
Because you said that all the time.
You threw rocks when you were the one in the glass house,
And when that got repaid,
You came undone,
And I will not take that blame.
Dec 6, 2023
Dec 6, 2023 at 3:56 PM UTC
I’m not just in love with him.
I’m in love with his eyes,
Those beautiful blue oceans I could drown in,
His eyes are a gift, not won like prize,
Pure and loving, incapable of lies,
But it’s more than that.
I’m in love with his voice.
The way my name flows off his lips,
The way it calms me,
The way it drowns out the noise,
That rages in my mind, which feels like a void,
But my mind is the storm, and he is my calm.
But it’s not just him. It’s the things about him.
It’s his taste in music,
It’s his sense of humor,
It’s the fact he looks at me and ignore the emotional bruises, scars, and tears I’ve shed.
It’s how he treats like I’ve never been hurt before. It’s his gentle nature and calming tone,
And he truly makes me feel like he is my home.
So yes, I’m in love with him.
I’m in love with everything that makes him who he is,
And I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again,
I’m in love with what makes him, him.
Nov 10, 2023
Nov 10, 2023 at 8:54 PM UTC
They say forgiveness is easy.
Have you tried it?
Have you tried swallowing a pill without water?
Have you been in a fire, wondering if the flames can get any hotter?
Or did you just say that because that’s what’s easy?
Forgiveness is the hardest thing to come by,
And sadly it’s not always worth giving it a try.
Oct 19, 2023
Oct 19, 2023 at 1:32 AM UTC
I don’t know what to say about how I feel for you anymore.
I wrestle with my mind about your memory,
I thought you loved, cared for, and cherished me,
The same way I loved you. Cared for you. Cherished you.
But no.
I guess my first mistake was after I.
Because I thought these things,
You made me think these things,
But it was never proven true.
You didn’t show it,
I loved you and you know it.
I was hurting, yet you were too high to notice.
I was telling you how I felt but you chose not to listen,
You said you loved me but really you loved the attention.
And yet
I still think about you.
Worry about you.
Care about you.
You’ve given me a million reasons not to,
But again,
My first mistake is after I.
I still think, still worry, still care,
And after everything, my feelings are up in the air.
And that’s where they’ve stayed.
Oct 14, 2023
Oct 14, 2023 at 12:51 AM UTC
We were fine
Then we weren’t
As if at the flick of a switch
Our relationship lay under the dirt
From whence it came
To where it stays
Tell me love
Is this the price of love I have to pay?
Jul 11, 2023
Jul 11, 2023 at 1:53 AM UTC
I thought what we had was stable
Love is fragile
But our bond was strong
I thought so anyway
But it was fragile
Words hurt the surface but actions cause damage
But this time
Words hurt the surface
Words caused the damage
And now we’re in pieces
Like a jigsaw puzzle
Where the pieces don’t match
But I’d do anything to make them last..
Jul 11, 2023
Jul 11, 2023 at 1:45 AM UTC
Why do I get left behind?
I sit here patiently waiting for my turn
For someone to come to me, wanting to be mine
Wanting to see what I have to offer.
Because if only people cared,
They would see it on my face
That all I want to do, all I crave
Is it take care of someone.
But I want to take care of someone who wants to do the same for me,
Because god knows I give and give
But people take and take
Until I have nothing left to give.
So I go back to sitting
Waiting patiently for my turn
For my time.
May 23, 2023
May 23, 2023 at 8:33 PM UTC
I find myself drifting away more recently
Into a place in my mind where no one goes
No one knows it exists
Because it’s somewhere only I know
Where the grass is always greener
And the sun shines year round
Filled with chilly late fall evenings
And listening to the birds sing while in a porch swing
It feels like home
Because where I’m at is not home
The stress
The sadness
The burn out
That’s not where I want to be.
So I drift away
May 21, 2023
May 21, 2023 at 8:05 PM UTC
I still smile
Sometimes it shines through a crowd
Others you may not even notice
The pain behind my smile comes and goes
Just like the memories of you.
When I think of you I may smile
Or even get lost in a distant memory
But for a little while, you took my smile with you
When you left
I didn’t want to smile anymore because
You were my reason
You made me smile
But I had to keep smiling
Because if I didn’t it meant you won
And after how you treated me
You can’t win
So yes,
I still smile.
I smile in moments of sadness
I smile at the little things
And I smile when I think about you,
Because without you I wouldn’t know that I could make myself smile.
So thank you
For giving me the chance to make myself happy
May 21, 2023
May 21, 2023 at 8:00 PM UTC