It took me 4 full years to realize I can’t have you back
Even if I could one day
I don’t want the life you’ll have me living
And I think you knew that and that’s why you ran away
It took me a long time to see that I would never be truly happy
In a life that was so vain
But you knew and you saved me
Even though I kicked and screamed and begged
You’re not in a place to compromise and I would’ve sacrificed my life
For a love that would’ve kept me trapped in my toxic days
You viewed me in ways that I didn’t see myself
And were right every time,
Only when it came to the good things
And even if it wasn’t handled the right way
You ultimately saved me from a life
That I thought I could one day embrace
I don’t want the life you’ll have me living
And I think you knew that and that’s why you ran away
It took me a long time to see that I would never be truly happy
In a life that was so vain
But you knew and you saved me
Even though I kicked and screamed and begged
Putting yourself first ain’t all that easy
When feelings were as deep as mine
The guilt, shame, and being hungry
Doesn’t help when it comes to saying goodbye
So don’t judge me
Man, 4 years was a long time
Mar 3, 2022
Mar 3, 2022 at 11:30 PM UTC
It’s a city in the mountain view
**** I’ve never seen something quite like you
So fun and free, yet peaceful-
A constant reminder of nature’s beauty.
For some the growing happens after high school
For others, the change happens in graduate school
I was nervous to make the transition alone
However, him leaving turned out to be the best **** thing since edible cookie dough
Sep 1, 2021
Sep 1, 2021 at 12:10 AM UTC
Life’s Next Chapter
Sometimes life pulls us away
From the ones who help us get through the tough days
The thought of being without them pains me to say
A part of me wants to give up my dreams to go away to school to stay.
I am worried that I won’t make friends
I’ll be lonely in this new place,
On my own and not knowing my way
The thought of leaving behind my loved ones
Terrifies me more than I’d like to say
A part of me wants to give up my dreams to go away to school to stay.
I am worried that making the move
Might end up being a horrible mistake
I’m not sure if I’m mentally ready
For what life may throw my way
The wonders of the unknown concerns me
I want my life to be on track without delays.
A part of me wants to give up my dreams to go away to school to stay.
May 1, 2021
May 1, 2021 at 10:19 PM UTC
I let out a blood curdle scream
Hoping my parents can come help me
I was trapped within a paralyzed body
Stuck between a purgatory state of sleep and reality.
Shadowy silhouettes appeared then were out of sight,
In the corners of my forest green eyes,
The sound of their hushed footsteps were left behind
Leaving me frightened out of my mind.
I was prepared to be hurt by the creatures
That lurked my bedroom at night.
Mom frantically told the doctor who said it was sleep paralysis,
The good news is that I would be alright.
There’s nothing they can do,
I’m stuck feeling the fear that comes to me
Whenever the sleep paralysis decides to strike.
No one can help me,
I have to live through getting stuck in a limp body
Welcoming the scary creatures that come by,
Having an episode is one of the scariest things
That I’ve encountered in my life.
Apr 21, 2021
Apr 21, 2021 at 8:07 PM UTC
The world never saw the beauty in his forest green eyes
All they saw were the horrible and cruel lies,
That was spread for the enjoyment of gossip.
People judging and rumors flying
Social media is an angel in disguise
People didn’t see the truth that radiated in his broken smile
Or the never-ending love that continually poured from his heart
All they chose to see were the “revealings” of his troubles
That boy is a good lad
True to himself and isn’t changing for anyone.
He already knows exactly who he is
It’s not his fault that they are all in a fool’s paradise
It’s heartbreaking to see just how deep
It’s getting hard for him to stay afloat
When will the truth be seen?
That boy is one of a kind with a beautiful soul
He’s like a Kadupul with his rare, stellar mind
People are just unfortunately too blind to see it.
Hopefully, people will one day learn to not always trust their beautiful eyes.
Apr 20, 2021
Apr 20, 2021 at 10:20 PM UTC
I painted my room the hue of blue
For a reason
You see, blue reminds me of the beach
Which reminds me of hot summer days
And cold summer nights
Which reminds me of when you lent me your sweatshirt
Which wasn’t blue, but when I wore it I swear it radiated that hue
It’s scary having deep feelings for someone
But the radiance of blue was so vibrant
It was easy to push my fears aside
Instead I was filled with calmness, peace, security, and feelings of content
I was left the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.
I painted my room the hue of blue
To remind me what I want to strive to feel
Each day of my life
Apr 20, 2021
Apr 20, 2021 at 11:24 AM UTC
There was a black and white dog who wore a Mickey Mouse symbol on her back
Had pointy ears and a buttoned nose
Always down to cuddle, lazy days are her favorite in fact.
She is the size of a football
But has confidence the size of a Great Dane
Whom she will try to attack, if he gets to close to our lawn.
I don’t think she realizes that she’s the perfect size for a mid-day snack.
Protecting our house is her priority
Even though she won’t win an attack.
Apr 20, 2021
Apr 20, 2021 at 11:22 AM UTC
I live for the days and dread the nights
It’s something about the quiet that brings out the light
My body is falling asleep, but not my mind
Do people know what that feels like?
People critique me as being an over thinker
Friends finding my habit annoying and concerning
They don’t get that it’s hard for me to control
My thoughts take over the entirety of my mind
They don’t get that my thoughts keep me lying awake at night
I pray to avoid temptation creeping into my way
But sometimes muffling the noise sounds like a luxury getaway
I’m not ready to face what lies underneath
But every night it’s getting much harder to breathe
My family doesn’t really believe in therapy
I don’t know what to do
I’m drowning, can someone please help me?
Apr 20, 2021
Apr 20, 2021 at 11:21 AM UTC
Long Island is not the place you want to be
When a pandemic outbreaks into the streets
Neighborhoods are split between those who listen to the CDC
And those who need a tragedy to take the guidelines seriously
Everyday is a guessing game of did Corona catch me today?
Lines outside clinics grew, nose swabs became a normal part of what we do
Masks became the latest fashion trend
Although there are people who refuse to buy them
More people are getting infected around me
When will people start to believe this isn’t just some made up fantasy?
Covid affects everyone who has it differently
I just hope no one dies around me.
Apr 20, 2021
Apr 20, 2021 at 11:21 AM UTC
I painted my room the hue of blue
For a reason
You see, blue reminds me of the beach
Which reminds me of hot summer days
And cold summer nights
Which reminds me of when you lent me your sweatshirt
Which wasn’t blue, but when I wore it I swear it radiated that hue
It’s scary having deep feelings for someone
But the radiance of blue was so vibrant
It was easy to push my fears aside
Instead I was filled with calmness, peace, security, and feelings of content
I was left the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.
I painted my room the hue of blue
To remind me what I want to strive to feel
Each day of my life
Mar 10, 2021
Mar 10, 2021 at 9:58 AM UTC